This is going to be a regular series on this site as I am now starting the Dumbass Announcer Hall of Fame. Our first inductee? None other then former Detroit Lions Quarterback and current CBS Sports Color "Analyst" Gary Danielson.
I don't know if you know this or not but Gary Danielson knows more about football then you do. He does! He's a football genius! During the second half of the SEC Championship Gary decided it was his duty to give Florida the greatest commentary blowjob since the night John Madden set the standard during the Brett Favre "Dad Died" game. Gary was in full campaign mode for the Gators to get the National Title nod instead of the Wolverines and went to absurd lengths to do it. In a graphic he explained on the air, Gary showed us how Florida's schedule was better then Michigan in pretty much every way. First of all this graphic was completely ludicrous and to prove that let me just go over one of games where Gary was "throwing Michigan a bone"
The only common opponent between Florida and Michigan this year. Gary ruled this game a "Push" Really? A push? Let's look at the stats....
Vandy vs. Michigan
- Final Score: 27-7
- Total Yards: Michigan 381, Vandy 171
Florida vs. Vandy
- Final Score: 25-19
- Total Yards: Vandy 391, Florida 330
So let me get this straight....this game is a push? How is this a push? I mean I understand that Florida had to go to Vandy (and NO ONE wants to go to NASHVILLE...tough place to play) but they were OUTGAINED by Vandy and only won by six freaking points, but apparently this game is a push according to Gary Danielson. This is the same guy who just couldn't go with the Red Zone definition we all know and love (inside the 20) instead redefining it himself as the area INSIDE THE 30!!!! LISTEN TO HIM!!! HE KNOWS MORE THEN YOU!!! THE MAN IS A GENIUS!!!
Now if it wasn't bad enough that he openly campaigned for Florida during the SEC Championship game, he then went on Detroit Sports Radio to defend himself. The full audio is available over here at mgoblog, but let me sum up things for you. First off Gary defends himself by saying that ESPN has a pro-Big Ten and anti-SEC agenda. Hmm that's interesting considering I was watching College Football Final and saw BOTH Lou Holtz and Mark May campaign for Florida where the lone Michigan voice was Kirk Herbstreit. IT'S A CONSPIRACY THOUGH!!! ESPN HAS AN AGENDA!! You know who has the agenda? YOU DO GARY!!! CBS has a TV contract with the SEC and you go and give the SEC Champ a long campaign speech during the middle of a game. Hmmm....maybe someone here has an agenda. Gary does admit to having an agenda. He said he was doing it for "the good of college football." Thanks Gary but college football is probably better off without ignorant asses like you speaking for it. Then Gary decides it's time he shows that he really is an unbiased and impratial announcer with no agenda whatsoever by saying this...
"I would have voted for anybody instead of Michigan. I would have voted for Oklahoma (ed: 2 losses) or Louisville (ed: from the shitty Big East) before I put Michigan in that game."
But you don't have any sort of agenda do you Gary? You are just looking out for college football. Then he decides to give us this nugget that sealed his entry into the Dumbass Announcer Hall of Fame...
"I know a lot about football. I know how to watch tape, and if I can't tell who the second best team is, how can anyone else?"
There you have it folks. Please stop any and all debates on college football because if you aren't Gary Danielson you don't know enough to know anything. I mean this guy was a great quarterback for the DETROIT LIONS! HE KNOWS MORE THEN EVERYONE! HE IS A FOOTBALL GENIUS!
In short Gary Danielson is the first inductee into the Dumbass Announcer Hall of Fame because he is a triple threat. His commentary is annoying, he's ignorant, and he's a pompous ass. Congrats Gary....and please quit....for the good of college football.