Clubber Lang's Basement

Detroit Sports Blog Roundtable: November

2007-11-09T18:52:00.000-05:00

This is where we meet. The location? CLASSIFIED!

I spoke with a couple of my Detroit sports blog brethren and got together a little roundtable to discuss all of the issues of the day. We're going to try and do this every month, so here goes. We've got Big Al from The Wayne Fontes Experience and Bandy from Michigan Sports Spot as well as yours truly. Here we go...

Question 1 - The Lions are 6-2. Hold on let me type that again. The LIONS are 6-2 and near the top of the NFC. The next half of the season gets considerably tougher with Green Bay (twice), Dallas, New York and San Diego on the schedule. After it's all said and done what do you think the Lions record will be at the end of the year? Will they make the playoffs?

Big Al: Considering their fast start, They should win 10 games, but being the cynical Lions fan that I am, I'll say they go 9-7. That should still get them a playoff spot, but not a 1st round bye, let alone a home game. The schedule gets tougher in the 2nd half, so I could easily see them going 3-5, I see Detroit having a hard time in San Diego, Dallas is the obvious cream of the NFC, and a better team than the Lions, and the Lions NEVER beat Green Bay at Lambeau.

I see them beating the Packers on Thanksgiving, winning at Minnesota, and taking KC at home. The swing games are going to be the next 2, this weekend in Arizona, and the Giants at Ford Field. Win 1 of those 2, I think winning 10 games is within easy reach. Win both, and the sky's the limit. I'm not going to get my hopes up, as the Lions have often struggled in Arizona (Remember Bobby Ross going for 2?) and the Giants are a very good team fighting for a playoff spot themselves. In many ways, the Lions season may be defined in the next 2 games. The Lions go 2-0. or even 1-1, the fans will continue to believe. But 0-2? We'll hear the cries of "Same old Lions!" and "Fire Millen!" from a fanbase that hopes for the best, but always expects the worst.

Bandy: Sitting at 6-2 is quite a feat for the Lions considering their defense. I think everyone & their mother realized that the Lions finally have a top tier offense, after years of top offensive picks. The icing on the cake was the Calvin Johnson pick during the last NFL draft. The question mark for me is the defense. Don’t get me wrong, that was quite a defensive performance against Denver, but we really didn’t see the true Denver offense. They had to put second string QB Patrick Ramsey on the field after Jay Cutler took a hard hit from the entire D-Line of the Lions. Even if Denver had their full offensive product on the field, they’re not a top notch offense like they’ll see in the 2nd half of the season. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with facing inferior competition early in the year. It will give the Lions confidence moving forward into the 2nd half.

Another key point of the 1st half is that they’ve not had to endure many injuries on either side of the ball. If they can stay healthy & positive, it’s going to be a great year.

All things considered, I see the Lions supporting John Kitna’s 10 win prediction, but that’s it. My prediction at the end of the end of this season is a wildcard berth with a record of 10-6. The roar WILL be restored!

BAW: I'm actually pretty bullish on the Lions. I had them at 5-3 in my preseason game-by-game predictions (@ Chicago was the loss I had predicted for them) so this is pretty much where I thought they would be prior to the start of the season. I said they'd be 9-7 then (and was laughed at by anyone I told) and now I'm willing to say that they are going to go...12-4.

I know, I'm crazy but hear me out. I think they can take out the Cards this week in Arizona, even though historically it's not been a place where the Lions have played well. I then think they can beat both the Giants and Pack to go to 9-2. Then lose two of the next 5 games to finish a solid 12-4 which probably wins them the North and gets them a first round bye.

I just don't think the Packers, Giants, and Cowboys are as good as people think and I think the Lions can beat all three of them (especially at home). As long as the Lions front four play well they will have a chance to be in every game. The offense is much more balanced since the return of Kevin Jones, and the O-Line has also been better at keeping Jon Kitna off of the turf. I think the Lions could be a lot like last year's Saints, but maybe, just maybe, they could go further....at least there's hope and that's something we haven't had in Detroit for awhile.

Question 2 - Michigan and Michigan State played another classic this weekend, but after it was over both sides seem to be talking a lot of trash. Do you think this is a healthy development for the rivalry and where do you see Michigan and Michigan State going the rest of the year? Will Sparty make a bowl? Can Michigan beat the Vest?

Big Al: First off, a rivalry needs both teams to be a threat to win, not a threat just every 5-6 years, as Sparty does currently. 8 years out of 10, the Wolverines to the Spartans are the equivalent of a hammer to a nail. But the trash talk, hurt feelings, and Dantonio's Tressel-like focus on Michigan will put a life into the series it sorely needs. As for this season, I'm not at all confident that Sparty will get to 6 wins. The talent just isn't there. They have to beat Purdue, as I don't see them beating Penn State. I'll go out on a limb, and say Sparty finishes 5-7, missing out on a bowl...Again. As for the Wolverines, I have no reason to believe that the end of the 2007 season will be any different than the last 4 seasons. Cheatypants McSweaterVest has Lloyd Carr's number, plus tOSU will be playing for a spot in the BCS title game. I hate to say it, but the bucknuts win...Again.

Then Michigan will go out and lose whatever runnerup bowl they end up being invited to play. Only 1 thing might change my prediction, if Lloyd announces he's stepping down before the tOSU game. Then all bests are off. Otherwise, it's a 9 win season. They've had a nice recovery from the debacles that were the Appy St and Oregon games, but it's still been a VERY disappointing season overall. If there is a program in DIRE need of new blood, it's Michigan.

Bandy: There is no doubt in my mind that this is a healthy development for both teams & also, for the Big Ten. This rivalry has always been a ‘Michigan’ rivalry, not a Big Ten rivalry. It shouldn’t be that way. The trash talking will get both teams more exposure & hopefully, attract more attention (& hopefully recruits) to both teams. This is especially good for MSU, but they need to back up the trash talking.

As for the rest of this year, I believe that the outcome & extracurricular activities of the MSU/Michigan game will help MSU. They will play the rest of the year with something to prove & with good effort, will perform well both against Purdue & Penn St. Even though they will perform well, I still don’t see them winning both games (which is what they’ll need to make a bowl this year). I believe MSU will lose to Purdue in a close game & beat Penn St. at home. The Penn St. win will drive them into the off-season on a positive note.

As for Michigan, the road is tough without a doubt. Games against Wisconsin & THE Ohio State are about as tough as it gets in the conference right now. I believe Michigan will beat Wisconsin in an ugly game as both teams are hobbling right now. In the Michigan/Ohio St. finale, Michigan will bow down to the Buckeyes tough defense and lose in a close game. The only reason I think it will be close is because this game is always a good matchup, regardless of the team’s talent or injury situations. From there, Michigan will make it into a New Year’s Day bowl.

BAW: I think the trash talk is a good thing for the rivalry...to a point. I think MSU needs to keep things a little quieter until they actually win a game. Michigan didn't start any sort of trash talking until they took care of business on the field, and I think Sparty would be well served to take that kind of approach. That being said I think the bad blood that's developed can only be a good thing.

As far as MSU's season is concerned I think the telling thing this week was the fact that they were still dwelling on the Michigan game two days after the fact. They put SO much on this game that I think losing it the way they did could be a big letdown. I think they CAN win both of these games, but I don't think they'll actually win either of them. There is a big potential that they could get blown out at Purdue if they're not focused and if that happens I don't see a rebound against Penn State. If they really want to prove they're not the "Same Old Sparty" they'll show up at Purdue this week and get the win. Then they can finally start talking bowl against Penn State.

And that brings me to my Wolverines. Am I the only one who thinks they can beat the Buckeyes? Seriously? This week's game doesn't mean much on the Big Ten side of things, but I can tell you that a 10-2 season looks better than a 9-3 season in the end. With PJ Hill probably out for the game, I think Michigan wins by a couple of touchdowns. Wisco's pass defense isn't good at all and with Henne and a (healthy) Hart I think Michigan will take the win, and with that out of the way the focus goes to the Buckeyes....

I think Michigan wins that game. First of all they are at home, and second OSU hasn't played a tough close game all year long and I think that's going to catch up to them. Michigan has shown (both at Illinois and at State) that they can come back and win in the clutch in hostile environments. OSU, on the other hand, hasn't been challenged all year and it will be interesting to see how they react to a close game situation. Plus after the first two games of the season, all the players know their only road to redemption goes through the Buckeyes and I think they will rise to the challenge.

Question 3 - The Pistons are off to a 3-1 start and two of those wins were without Richard Hamilton. Are you happy with what the Pistons did in the off season and what do you think they are going to do this year?

Big Al: Despite Joe Dumar's threats to make a major change in the team's makeup, they did deserve 1 more chance to make a title run. Plus Rasheed Wallace will a much more enticing player to trade once he's into the final year of his contract, which is next season. My magic 8 ball sees a replay of '06-'07. I see another 50 win season, Flip Saunders leaning on the starters too much), not developing the bench despite the cries from the fans, media, and Dumars (I have to see it, to believe it, as the call for developing their youth/bench has been the Pistons' stated goal for the last 4 seasons, yet it never happens), leading to the team running out of gas in the conference finals.

Much like Michigan needs fresh ideas, I think the same is happening to the Pistons. If we see another flameout like the one against the Cavaliers in the ECF? It'll be time for a big shake up of the roster, with Billups and Stuckey the untouchables, and we say "Thanks for the memories" to 'Sheed.

Bandy: I was ecstatic with the way the Pistons handled their offseason moves. Chauncey Billups is the heart of this team & bringing him back was a must. That was the first great move. The second great move was sending Chris Webber packing. Webber is way past his prime & doesn’t fit the blue collar work ethic that the Pistons thrive on. They made a couple good draft picks, mainly Rodney Stuckey, which will sure up their backcourt in the future. Joe Dumars has done a fantastic job with the talent he’s acquired & is now showing his plans for the future. Jason Maxiell was a force in the pre-season & can challenge for the starting spot at power forward.

Overall, the Pistons again are contenders in the East & also in the run for the NBA championship. The main challengers in the east will be Boston of course, with their additions of Kevin Garnett & Ray Allen. Boston has started to build a team similar to the Piston’s foundation & the city of Boston is yearning for a run back to the NBA finals. They haven’t had a team this talented since the days of Kevin McHale, Larry Bird, Dennis Johnson, & Robert Parish. I believe that Boston is the only other team in the east that can match-up with the Pistons & challenge for the east crown.

My prediction is the Pistons will make the NBA finals again….but will have to face the superior opponent in the San Antonio Spurs. I really want to give the Pistons the nod in this match-up, but I can’t. The Spurs are too strong across the board. Spurs win….again, in 6 games.

BAW: I'm pretty happy with the way the Pistons handled the offseason (and that's not just because Rasheed is on my fantasy team). I think they addressed their biggest problem and that was finding a bench scorer who could drive and make his own shot. Stuckey looks like he's going to be that guy when he heals from his injury. I also really like the addition of Afflalo as a defensive stopper and the subtraction of Chris Webber's sorry ass. He seriously had my vertical leap (which is not good) during the playoffs last year.

That being said there are still some problems. They aren't deep as far as big men are concerned and if Sheed or McDyess go down with any significant injury they could be in trouble. That being said I don't think it's going to matter what happens in the regular season with the Pistons as they could be seeded between 1-4 and be okay.

I think the Pistons are the favorites in the East. Even after the first few games I still don't believe the Boston hype. I think that team has flaws (DEFENSE) and I think they will be exposed come playoff time. The Bulls haven't gotten any better (unless you count getting that freak Joakim Noah as improvement) and the Cavs have gotten worse. I just don't see any of these teams challenging the Pistons, especially a Pistons team that can play the "disrespect" card.

So I see the Pistons winning the East Finals and playing a close tough series with the West Champs (Spurs). Can they beat the Spurs? Sure. Will they? Um...I already predicted a 12-4 season for the Lions...so what the hell. I think the Pistons beat the Spurs in 7 in San Antonio. Yeah, I said it.

Question 4 - The Wings are also off to a hot start this season. Can they return the Stanley Cup to Detroit? Do you think Hasek will be durable enough for another run? If not do you think Osgood is the goalie to take them there?

Big Al: Much like the Pistons, the regular season means little to the Red Wings, it's all about the playoffs. Till then, the fans will bitch and moan about the crappy schedule, the lack of playing "Original 6" teams (Save for the Blackhawks, of course) on a regular basis, the Red Wings bring an eastern time zone team in the Western conference, and Gary Bettman. In other words, it's just like any other NHL season.

I'm bullish on Osgood, as he's off to a 8-0-0 start while Hasek's been laid up, so the crazy ass Czech hasn't been missed. I'm fine with the 2 goalies splitting time between the pipes, anything to keep the decrepit Hasek, and his gimpy hip and groin, healthy for the playoffs. Hasek is in Detroit for 1 thing, a long playoff run, period. Osgood is in Detroit for 1 thing, to be Hasek's affordable insurance policy, period. As good as Ozzie has played, any playoff success will hinge on Hasek. The Wings will go as far as his craziness and groin will take them.

The Red Wings will win the Central easily, win 2 hard fought playoff rounds while the fans lose copious amounts of sleep, and lose in the WCF to the Sharks.

Bandy: The Wings are as good as any other team in the West, no doubt. The issue this year is that there really isn’t a clear cut best team in the West. I think the title is up for grabs as much as any other year. That being said, the Wings have a great chance to make a run at the cup. Dominik Hasek will be a key part of that run though. He’s getting up there in age & durability is definitely a concern. Even though Hasek is a concern, there is an excellent backup in the mix being Chris Osgood. He can definitely carry the load if necessary & has shown that so far this year.

Keeping Henrik Zetteberg & Pavel Datsuyk healthy are keys to a successful offensive season. They will carry the load on on the scoring side of things for the Wings. Tomas Holmstrom will also play a key role. Keeping all three of these guys healthy is a key to making a run.

All things considered, I think the Wings will make a run into the playoffs, but probably will not make it to the Stanley Cup Finals. The reason I say this is that this team is not as dominant a team as there have been in the past. Also, they are lacking some leadership in my opinion. I think they’ll make the playoffs, but not make it to the finals. The team looks good so far, but it’s still early in the season.

BAW: The regular season means nothing to the Red Wings. They play in a terrible division and will rack up win after win after win, and probably challenge for the President's Cup again. YAWN, wake me up when it's playoff time.

That being said I think Zetterberg has turned the corner and is a full on bad ass. The man is unstoppable so far this season, and that can only mean good things for the Wings.

Osgood worries me a little. I know he's won a Cup before and he's on a hot streak right now, but Hasek played out of his mind during the playoffs last year and that wasn't enough and I still think he's better than Osgood. I think they need Hasek back in order to challenge for the Cup.

In the end I see the Wings making another run to the conference finals at least. The NHL playoffs are such a crap shoot and I'm sure the Wings will run into another hot goalie (they always do) that can easily end their season. They'll challenge for the West crown, but I think somewhere along the line they'll fall short.

Question 5 - Last but not least the Tigers head into what could be called a very pivotal off season. They have already acquired Edgar Renteria and Joel Zumaya has been lost to either a box or a dirt bike (don't know about the dirt bike...heard that rumor from McCosky who apparently reported it off some blog...nice responsibility...) What do you think should be the number one priority this offseason for the Tigers? Do you think they should go after A-Rod, Schilling or Mariano? If you were Dombrowski what are the moves you make? How much more are Hot and Ready Pizza's going to be if we sign A-Rod?

Big Al: We found out this week that Shilling is off the market, so he's not in the mix. As nice as his 50 HR's and 150 RBI's would look in the lineup, A-Rod is a luxury the Tigers don't need, and probably couldn't afford. I'd target Mariano Rivera, as the pen is the Tigers most glaring need, thanks to that rouge box that attacked Zumaya.

No matter what, the bullpen should be Dombrowski's 1st priority. with the finding (At the very least) 1 starting pitcher a close 2nd. I can live happily with the current lineup, but a LH bat would be a nice addition, but not absolutely necessary.

If I were in Dave Dombrowski's shoes, I'd do the following...

A. Right now the Tigers are short both a closer, and a set up man at the back end of the pen. So that's why, out of the 3 FA's you mention, I want Rivera. Without question. No doubt about it. Get out the checkbook, and make it happen! My 2nd choice would be former Tigers property Francisco Cordero, 3rd is Eric Gagne, with Todd Jones as my FA closer of last resort. In a prefect world, I'd sign both Jones and one of the above. No matter what, they HAVE to sign one of those 4 closers, (t looks as if The Rollercoaster is the Tigers' 1st choice), then dig up a set up man as well. Say Scott Linebrink? David Riske? Take a flyer on Kerry Wood?

B. Starting pitching, preferably 2 starters. Though the Tigers are claiming that they only need 1 starter, I'm leery of automatically giving the 5th rotation spot to 1 of the group of Miller/Tata/Trahern/Vasquez/Spring training phenom. Despite Scott Boras' posturing, I think the Tigers sign Kenny Rogers. I'd like them to also go for Carlos Silva, he won't come cheap. It would take a Gil Meche style contract to get him.

C. A left had hitting corner outfielder. Personally, I like Luis Gonzalez as a 1 year stop gap, as part of a platoon with Marcus Thames. Basically, anyone other than Timo Perez would be a solid upgrade.

Bandy: First of all, let me make a comment on the Edgar Renteria signing…..PHENOMENAL! This was a great pick-up for the Tigers. I realize there are a lot of people out there who are against sending some prime talent away, but let me tell you….the Tigers change to win the World Series is NOW. They have a great core group of players that can take them all the way next year. There are, however, some areas they’ll need to address during the rest of the off-season, but finding someone to play shortstop in place of Carlos Guillen was a #1 priority. Now that that issue has been resolved, they can address one other area….pitching.

The pitching staff has a good core of youngsters, but they’re one starter away from being solid again. As much as I love Nate Robertson as a person & team mascot, we need to sure up the #5 in the starting rotation. Verlander & Rogers are solid. Bonderman has shown Cy Young potential, but appears to fall off towards the end of the year. Andrew Miller will be a stud in the next couple years. That leaves one spot open. Nate Robertson is a great guy like I said, but he doesn’t have the power or the movement needed to be a shutdown starter. I think he’d be effective coming out of the pen.

Now, the question is who to go after? If there’s a year for free-agent pitching, this is it. I would love to see the Tigers make a run at Tom Glavine, as another left-handed starter. As of now, he’s a desirable free agent for many teams, including his old team the Atlanta Braves. He’s heading towards the end of his career, but if I were him, I would want to be playing for a contender as my career was coming to an end. This would sure up the starting rotation & also fit the Tigers current roster….as an older, experienced player. I’m sure there are many people though who would not like Glavine, but I stick with my feelings about the Tigers’ situation…they need to win now!

As for A-Rod, I really don’t see that happening. I would really love to see A-Rod at 3rd base in Detroit, but is it really necessary? You can argue either way, but my feeling is no. That’s a hefty investment on one player to make & I don’t think Mike Illich will do it. That money can be spent in other places, like pitching, & get a better overall outcome. Additionally, Jim Leyland loves Brandon Inge as a fielder. He might not be the best hitter for average, but he’s got good pop in his bat for someone hitting 9th in the line-up.

In summary, looking at their current situation, they need to address a starting pitcher & possibly another long reliever. They could also move Robertson to the pen & just address the 5th starter. Bottom line is that they have some options. Other than that, I believe the Tigs are contenders…..again.

BAW: I think the key to this entire offseason is what the Tigers do at closer. With Zumaya out, this is going to be their most important offseason move. I don't see any reason you don't get out the checkbook and get Mariano Rivera. He's the best closer out there and he's what the Tigers need. I like Todd Jones, but I don't think my heart can take another season of him closing. Plus, Rivera is the best one out there. GO GET HIM! I also think they need a set up man as well, I would have to agree with Al as to getting Cordero, although his American League stats scare the crap out of me.

I also think they need to resolve this Kenny Rogers situation now that Curt Schilling is no longer a possibility. The Tigers have Bonderman, Verlander and Robertson in the rotation right now and they really need Rogers for a fourth spot. I also think they should sign another veteran pitcher to fill the fifth spot and let Andrew Miller develop more in the minors. Miller could be brought up in the event of injury but I think he'll be better served with a stint in Toledo.

Now for the position players. I think getting Renteria was a great move, but I think they need to at least extend him for another year. He's not worth a one year rental for what was given up. While I would LOVE to see A-Rod here I don't think it's going to happen. I think he's priced himself out of the Tigers market and they'll use their money elsewhere. Leftfield continues to be a problem and I think they need to find a left hand hitter to platoon with Marcus Thames. Corey Patterson comes to mind but I don't know if he'll go for a short term deal (the Tigers won't sign anyone long term with Maybin waiting in the wings) but he's a guy who likes to strikeout and that could be a problem. Luis Gonzalez is an idea as well, and he seems like a guy who may take a short deal to return to the Tigers.

Well there you have it. The first of what will (hopefully) be many monthly roundtables between some of Detroit's sports bloggers. Hopefully you enjoyed it. If you have a blog and you would be interested in joining us just drop me a line. Until next time....

Spartans Need to Shut Up and Win Something

2007-11-06T00:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah...soak it in again....

This is my first chance to write anything since the events of this past weekend and my original plan was to write a big piece talking about the Lions turning the Broncos into Barbaro (too soon?) and Michigan beating Michigan State. But then this stuff came out and it needs to be addressed all on its own.

Sparty is all up in arms about Mike Hart's post game press conference where he said the following about MSU taking a 10 point lead halfway through the fourth quarter of Saturday's game...

"I thought it was funny. They got excited. Sometimes you get your little brother excited when you're playing basketball, and you let him get the lead, and then you come back and take it back."

Not the most intelligent comment in the world, but after hearing reports that MSU upperclassmen were telling the underclassmen to "savor the moment you beat Michigan," on the sidelines after the Caulcrick TD you can see where he's coming from at least. Well today MSU head coach Mark Dantonio decided to take the "high road" with Hart and said the following...

"Does Hart have a little brother? Or is he the little brother?" (and then makes a gesture to show that Hart is short.)

Seriously? The HEAD COACH of a major college football team is trading jabs in the media with a 21 year old kid and resorts to calling him SHORT?!?! This is the comeback? Who's the kid and who's the adult here? Hart said something that was in the heat of the moment and probably stupid, but he's a young kid and it was moments after an emotional victory. Dantonio is saying this TWO DAYS after the fact, and he resorts to petty short jokes. But did he stop there? Nope. In reference to Michigan staging a "moment of silence" for Michigan State on the field after the game, Dantonio said this...

"If they want to mock us, I'm telling them, it's not over. They can print all that crap they want all over their locker room. It's not over. It'll never be over here. It's just starting. You don't have to disrespect people. If they want to make a mockery of it, so be it. Their time will come."

I find it funny that he gets so pist off about this. Mostly because HE BROUGHT IT ON HIMSELF! After Michigan lost to App State, Dantonio was doing a post game interview on WJR and said that maybe they should have a "moment of silence" for the University of Michigan. Don't talk trash if you can't deal with the aftermath. It's just so funny that he jokingly mocks Michigan in a radio interview and then when it comes back to bite him in the ass he plays the "disrespect" card. He stoked the flames of this rivalry since the moment he got on campus (the BEAT MICHIGAN clock being one of the examples) and can't deal with what he has wrought.

Moving on, Jehuu Caulcrick and Brian Hoyer also voiced their displeasure over how Michigan handled the victory. Let's start with Caulcrick. For a bit of a refresher let's see what Jehuu said after Michigan lost to App State....

"It's like two wins. We watched the game and were cheering and singing the fight song. It was great."

Funny. How many wins does it feel like now? If that does count as two wins are you suddenly bowl eligible? Anyway, today he spoke about how he was "disrespected" after the game by Michigan's Terrance Taylor.

"I was walking off the field and he came up to me. I don't want to talk to you. You guys just won, go celebrate with your team. You don't need to talk to me.'Then it went on from there. Then we started talking back and forth saying words I'm not going to say right now. It just goes back to winning with class."

Winning with class huh? Hmmm....why does this strike me as odd coming from Caulcrick. I can't quite put my finger on it....

(HT to mgoblog for video) Oh yeah. That whole thing. Caulcrick (#30) was one of the ringleaders of the MSU flag planting incident at Notre Dame. And now he's lecturing someone ELSE on winning with class? He needs to just shut the hell up.

And that brings us to Brian Hoyer. I find Hoyer's comments to be the funniest so I left them for last. Here goes....

"Let's put it this way, if anybody hadn't taken this personal up until this point, it's personal now. It just shows what kind of class (Hart) has. We don't feel they really deserved to win that game. I'm sure they walked away feeling a little bit lucky coming out of it, too. I can guarantee you come next year, that (Hart's quote) will be sitting up on our bulletin board."

I put a little bold in there to show you the really stupid part. Michigan didn't deserve to win? Why is that Hoyer? One would argue that blowing a 10 point lead with 7:40 to go on your own field an indictment on why YOU didn't deserve to win. Generally speaking the team that scores the most points wins and that's what Michigan did Saturday. Losers talk about who "deserves" to win. Winners just go out there and win. Here's the deal, how about you go out there and, you know, WIN SOMETHING! I don't think you're really scaring anyone with these "now it's personal" comments. All we heard this year was how Michigan State was focusing on this game, and how the rivalry was taken up a notch. And what happened? Sparty lost again. Now it's supposed to be different because it's "personal?" Please.

Michigan State players talked a lot of crap after Michigan lost to App State, and now that's coming back to them. Deal with it. The Spartans should keep their mouths shut until they actually do something of note on the football field. This is a team that's won two Big Ten games over the past two seasons (worst record in the conference by the way), hasn't beat Michigan since 2001 and hasn't been to a bowl since 2003. Why don't you worry about trying to scrape two wins together just to get to the Motor City Bowl instead of worrying about Michigan players "disrespecting" you after you blew a 10 point fourth quarter lead on your own field.

In the end Hart was stupid for saying what he said. Does it make me happy as a Michigan fan to hear some of that stuff? Of course. It still doesn't change the fact that it was a stupid comment to make, but the difference between Hart trash talking and Spartans trash talking? Scoreboard folks. Hart is 4-0 against MSU, so while he's stupid for saying what he said, at least he's backed it up on the field.

The Spartans need to shut the hell up until they do something on the field to back it up.

Scoreboard, Bitches!!

2007-11-03T20:18:00.000-04:00

This is what pure joy looks like...

I'll have much more specific things to say in the next couple of days, but as for right now the title of this post is all I have to say to those Spartans who piled on after the App State loss....and the ones who sent me messages after going up 10 in the 4th.

SCOREBOARD, BITCHES! GO BLUE!!!

Joel Zumaya is Starcrossed

2007-11-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

Nothing surprises me anymore

Bad news for the Tigers 2008 season, and the 2007 season has only been over for a month. Joel Zumaya is out until midseason after undergoing shoulder surgery. Now did he get this injury throwing? Nope. He got it....moving furniture. That's right. The Tigers lost their potential closer for half a year because he was moving furniture.

Here's the thing. Freak injuries happen, but they seem to happen to Joel at an alarming rate. Last year he tears a tendon in his pitching hand in what is called a very "weird" injury at the time, and now we get a furniture moving injury. I think I speak for every Tigers fan when I say this, Joel. HIRE MOVERS! Hell, I'll pitch in. I'm sure if we took up a drive among Tigers fans they'd all chip in to help you move your stuff. I understand that this was during the wildfires, and that's tragic to deal with, but if your shoulders are part of what makes you money you should probably do what's necessary to protect them instead of moving a few pieces of furniture that can likely be replaced.

The only good news in all of this is that free agency hasn't heated up yet and the Tigers have some options to go after to fill the void left by this injury. Obviously the first option is to resign Todd Jones. I didn't think this would happen going into the offseason as Jones is probably looking for a two year deal (the Tigers only want to give a one year deal more than likely) but this injury certainly helps those odds. And of course there's always one other option....

Mariano Rivera

He's on the market and said he wouldn't go back to the Yankees if Torre was gone. Well Torre's gone so maybe he'd give a long look at Detroit. Mariano's still one of the top five closers in baseball and if you can get him for a 2-3 year deal you go and do it. Best case scenario if the Tigers sign him is that when Joel comes back we can have him set up for Mariano in the ninth. How good would that be? I would love to see the Tigers make this move. I'd also love to see A-Rod at 3B and Brandon Inge playing somewhere else as well, and I'm willing to pay $8 for a Little Caesars Hot and Ready Pizza to make it happen. It'll definitely be an interesting off season, that's for sure.

Oh and Joel, take it easy during rehab okay?

Drew Sharp Needs a Sense of Humor

2007-10-31T15:21:00.000-04:00

See Drew, even this cat knows what a joke is.

After the Lions big win in Chicago, Free Press Columnist Drew Sharp had no real choice but to write a positive column about the Lions. I'm sure the idea made his skin crawl, but to give him credit, he did, but yours truly was just waiting for him to find a way to come back with something negative. It only took two days....

First let me give you some background. As most NFL fans know, Joe Cullen, a defensive coach for the Lions, was busted for pulling up to a Wendy's drive-thru naked. This lead to him seeking counsel for some personal issues. A laugh was had from around the NFL at expense of the Lions, Cullen kept his job, and that was that. At least until this week.

Oh the NERVE of Jon Kitna. I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!

Jon Kitna and his wife dressed up as Cullen and the Wendy's employee for the Lions Halloween party this week and Drew seized upon the opportunity to make a big deal out of nothing. Drew decides that apparently it's his place to speak for Cullen and his feelings. He thinks Kitna owes him an apology. Now did he talk to Joe and ask him how he felt about it? No. He just assumed.

Here's the deal. Kitna was making a joke, and since he's a, you know, MEMBER OF THE LIONS, I'm sure he knows what Cullen's thoughts are on the issue. He may have even asked him about it prior to showing up. Did you think to ask these questions of Kitna or Cullen before assuming you know all the details? No. It was just a perfect time for another shot at the Lions.

Making jokes is the way guys interact, and when someone does something embarrassing it eventually becomes fodder for these jokes. Comedy equals tragedy plus time. I just figured such an enlightened guy like Drew Sharp (remember....he knows more than all of us and the only reason people hate him is because he has the "courage" to tell it like it is) would know what a joke is.

Then again if he did, he wouldn't have anything negative to say about the Lions. Sometimes even the "great" writers have to stretch to get back to their A-Game.

Apparently the Lions are Good

2007-10-29T19:02:00.000-04:00

I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do now...

It's been seven years (!) since the last time the Lions were three games above .500. Seven years. In that time Matt Millen was brought in and turned this team into the laughingstock of the NFL. Multiple wide receivers were drafted, horrible quarterbacks were brought in and a lot of losing occured. Normally at this time of year the Lions' season is already over and I'm looking for the team to sandbag for a high draft pick. Now all of a sudden the Lions are apparently a good team again, and I don't really know how I'm supposed to react.

Part of me wants to be excited that there is a good football team to root for again. The other part of me is waiting for the shoe to drop and the bottom to fall out. I think I'm going to go with tepid enthusiasm. Before the season I thought this team would go 9-7 (though I had them at 4-3 at this point) and I'm not going to change that. Yesterday's win showed that the Lions can beat a bad team (and don't kid yourselves, the Bears are a BAD team) on the road when they needed a big win. That is something that the Lions of yore haven't been able to do. They had a solid run game and didn't turn the ball over. A great overall effort. Are the Lions going to the Super Bowl? No. But if they don't make the playoffs I'll be very disappointed at this point.

So while I'm not ready to start planning the parade down Woodward, I am ready to get excited about this football team taking the next step and getting to the playoffs. It's much nicer than looking ahead to the draft after week 8. GO LIONS!

Michigan vs. Minnesota Live Blog

2007-10-27T13:27:00.000-04:00

Michigan vs. Minnesota Live Blog Tomorrow

2007-10-26T13:38:00.000-04:00

Let's keep the Jug in Ann Arbor....

Since tomorrow's Michigan vs. Minnesota game is actually on a channel Comcast allows me to get (3:30, ESPN Classic) I figured, why not live blog the game? So come back tomorrow and join in the fun, unless the game is close...in that case join in the stress. I'm going to use this new Altcast program which will allow you to send me comments in realtime and I can respond as such. It will be a much better system then having the Blogger hamster try and repost my blog over and over and over. Come check it out tomorrow!

Site Relaunch

2007-10-26T00:30:00.000-04:00

I'm coming out of my shack...

It's been quite the hectic few months for yours truly. With moving, and readjusting and all that fun stuff I've had a hard time being able to blog my random thoughts on sports...but all that is about to change. That's right, Clubber Lang's Basement is back! I'll be back to writing on my normal semi-daily basis starting with the next lovely post you'll see. So feel free to come back and check in on the fun, or not...either way.

What....the....Hell.....

2007-06-30T17:11:00.000-04:00

I don't even have the words.....

After my long night of live blogging the NBA Draft, I've been thinking about different things I could spend my time writing about. The NBA offseason? The Tigers baseball season? The Detroit Shock? Wait, scratch that last one. But then I found something that needed my immediate attention.

In the video shown above this Lions fan goes on a delusional rant about the greatness of the Lions and how they are going to dominate the NFL this season. The sad part is I really think this guy is serious. As a life long fan of the Lions I've learned that the offseason generally goes through a certain cycle...

Lions end shitty season
Lions have high draft pick and debate rages over who they pick
Lions use high draft pick on offensive player (usually receiver) to get fans excited
I start to think that "maybe this season they could win 8 or 9 games" you never know...
The Lions kick us all in the balls with another shitty season
Rinse and repeat

This guy has taken step four's optimism to a very scary level. The sad part is he proves that he's somewhat of an idiot because even when he's ranting about how great the Lions are he screws up multiple times with some of the more simple points he's trying to make. Here are some of the highlights.....

"Jon Kitna is a touchdown assassin."

Okay, this statement is over the top and in that way sounds pretty stupid. What makes it REALLY stupid is the next sentence.

"He will throw his spirals of absolute vigor and absolute destruction into the
hands of (pause) Mike Williams."

Well there goes what little credibility you have. What kind of crazy Lions fan mistakes Roy Williams and Mike Williams? He corrects himself saying it was a "bad memory seeping in," but for future reference let me give you a handy way to tell them apart.

Roy Williams = Good
Mike Williams = HORRIBLE

Wasn't that easy? I mean for a guy who's such a big Lions fan you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, but not this guy. Let's keep going....

"The Lions are no longer a laughing stock, they are prime stock. If the
Lions were a stock they'd be so expensive that no one could buy them."

Seriously. This is what the guy says. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?!?! I would say it's funny, but in all honesty it just makes us Lions fans look pathetic and stupid. It just gets worse though. He calls Lions owner William Clay Ford, "HENRY Clay Ford." Again...big Lions fan we're dealing with here. But the greatest part is at the end when he's trying to make up a new meaning for NFL....

"The L in NFL stands for Lions. The N stands for (long pause) Not
Gonna....something the Lions I'll think about that later and put it in another
video."

Way to bring your A game asshole. I believe the version of NFL that you were looking for was "No Fucking Life." Seriously dude if you're really this crazy Lions fan you claim to be on your video why don't you get your act together. Write a script, practice it out, do multiple takes. All you're doing is making us all look like idiots when you post something like this. So from the rest of us Lions fans here's a plea to you. Shut the hell up.

NBA Draft Live Blog Tonight!

2007-06-28T16:04:00.000-04:00

Can you feel the excitement? (Pic courtesy ESPN.com)

I've been gone for a few days, but that's because I've been doing prep for my NBA Draft live blog tonight. I'll be doing it over at Ballpimp.com so come on over and enjoy! It all starts up at 7:30, and hopefully in between Stephen A. Smith screaming at Jay Bilas and Stu Scott scaring international players by quoting rap lyrics while interviewing them, Joe D will make some moves to get the Pistons back to the finals.

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 7-9

2007-06-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

TOP OF THE 7TH INNING

9:05 - In case you were wondering the Phillies are up 4-3 on the Indians in the top of the 7th...just thought I'd pass that along....

9:06 - Rod Allen gives the Indians update just after I posted it. STAY OUT OF MY HEAD ROD!

9:07 - Rabelo gets hit by a pitch and jogs to first. Durbin is coming up again so I guess that means Leyland isn't going to the bullpen next inning.

9:08 - Durbin flies out to shallow right for the first out of the inning.

9:10 - Granderson goes down swinging at a pitch in the dirt. Two outs. Phillies have the bases loaded in Cleveland with no outs....

9:11 - Placido gets a line drive single to right. Runners on first and second for Sheff.....

9:12 - Chase Utley knocked in two runs and the Phils now lead 6-3 going into the bottom of the seventh. Could be a tie for first before this night is over.

9:14 - Sheff takes a 3-2 pitch and walks to load up the bases for Craig Monroe and his shiny new shoes.

9:15 - C-Mo grounds out to short to end the inning and leave them loaded. Ledezma was warming up in the bullpen last inning, we'll see if he comes in for the 7th.

BOTTOM OF THE 7TH INNING

9:16 - So watching the Nationals I'm starting to feel bad for their fans. They remind me a lot of the 2003 Tigers (and they even have Dmitri Young and Rob Fick) and I can feel their pain. It's so nice to have a really good baseball team. Just thought I'd mention.

9:18 - Wilfredo comes in and it just shows you how much of a beat down the Tigers are giving the Nats when they had Durbin bat last inning even though he was getting the hook. Good night for Durbin. Six solid innings and he only gave up one run. I would say I hope he stays in the rotation, but I think he'd be better out of the pen than Mike Maroth would be and I think fixing the bullpen is a bigger priority right now...so see you in middle relief Chad!

9:21 - Schneider strikes out swinging and immediately yells "FUCK!" so loud that you could hear it on the game microphones. Fantastic. Just a great season going in Washington.

9:23 - Langerhans strikes out and that's two in a row for Lidezma. Nice way to start things out.

9:24 - Nook Logan comes off the bench to pinch hit for the pitcher, although I think the pitcher would probably have better odds of getting a hit. Anybody remember when people thought he may be as good as Granderson? Thank God one of those people wasn't Dave Dombroski.

9:25 - Nook goes down looking and Lidezma strikes out the side. I know...I can't believe it either...

TOP OF THE 8TH INNING

9:26 - Score update from the Jake....6-3 Phils in the top of the 8th.

9:28 - Neifi leads off the inning. Can he make it TWO hits in a row?!?! (I know...crazy talk)

9:30 - Wow...I have to feel for Neifi. He just got hosed on a call at first. He was easily safe for an infield hit and the ump just missed it.

9:31 - Casey flies out to right for the out, but he hit a home run tonight so that is forgiven. Two outs.

9:32 - Inge gets a single to left center field and that brings up Rabelo who is the only non-pitcher without a hit tonight.

9:32 - They show Lidezma in the batter's box warming up and he looks so terrible that Kenny Rogers is just laughing at him. Hilarious. I hope Rabelo gets on so Wilfredo has to bat.

9:34 - Rabelo hits a beautiful RBI double to the gap in left center field. 13-1 Tigers and Wilfredo will hit with a runner in scoring position.

9:35 - Ledezma looked like he was standing about five miles off the plate and then hits the first pitch to short to end the inning. That was about as funny as Ithought it would be.

BOTTOM OF THE 8TH INNING

9:37 - INDIANS UPDATE: 6-3 Phillies in the bottom of the 8th.

9:38 - Guzman leads off with a single to left, and that ends Ledezma's strikeout streak at 3.

9:40 - Lopez hits a double play ball to short, but Neifi boots it. The only thing you've got going for you is your defense Neifi...don't go screwing that up too.

9:41 - Belliard pinch hits for Zimmerman and hits it right to Neifi who screws up again by not throwing to first to double off Lopez who strayed a bit too far from the bag. One out and two on for Dmitri.

9:42 - INDIANS UPDATE: The Tribe has the bases loaded with two outs in the 8th

9:44 - They get the second out on a fielder's choice. Runners on the corners and two outs.

9:45 - INDIANS UPDATE: It's now 6-5 Phillies and the Indians have the tying run on third with two outs in the 8th....and Jose Mesa's coming in...uh oh

9:46 - Ledezma walks the bases loaded with two outs, though at this point I think most Tigers fans are watching the Cleveland score more than the score of this game.

9:47 - Church grounds out to Ledezma to end the inning with the bases loaded. One inning to go....

TOP OF THE 9TH INNING

9:48 - INDIANS UPDATE: Mesa gets Casey Blake to ground out to end the 8th (I'm just as surprised as you are). 6-5 Phils going into the 9th.

9:51 - Granderson hits a fly ball to deep right, but Kearns is able to run it down for the first out. We are then treated to the comic stylings of Mario and Rod as they show a replay of the President race. These blow outs always give Mario a chance to work on his standup. I think he may get a false sense of how funny he is because Rod laughs at everything.

9:53 - Polanco walks, and that will bring up Marcus Thames who is pinch hitting for Sheff. They just showed Guillen's and Thames home runs from last night...both were monsters....

9:54 - And just like that Thames hits the first pitch WAY up to the upper deck for a two run home run. Good lord he hit the shit out of that. Um...maybe we should play him a bit more....wow.....15-1 Tigers

9:56 - Monroe becomes the second out as he pops up to 1B in foul ground....and here comes Neifi! WOOOOO!!!

9:57 - Rod Allen makes a comment that the crowd is quiet (which is rather astute considering there are about 10 people in the stands), and then he and Mario debate on how to pronounce De La Cruz's first name. Such hi-jinks and hilarity from these two.

10:00 - Neifi draws the walk. Not a bad night for him actually. Too bad it's against the Nationals.

10:01 - INDIANS UPDATE: Ryan Howard knocks in two runs with a double and the Phils now lead 8-5 in the 9th

10:02 - Casey flies out to left to end the inning and it looks like De La Cruz will get some work in the ninth to try and finish this off...

BOTTOM OF THE 9TH INNING

10:04 - INDIANS UPDATE: 9-5 Phils after another RBI double. Hopefully the bullpen can hold the lead.

10:05 - Schneider grounds out to 2B for the first out of the inning.

10:07 - De La Cruz gets Langerhans swinging and I'm starting to like this kid. He has a high 90's fastball and seems to locate it well. Hopefully he keeps this up against a good team.

10:08 - Flores strikes out looking and that's that. De La Cruz sits them down in order and the Tigers win it 15-1

INDIANS UPDATE: 9-5 Phillies going into the bottom of the 9th. If anything changes during my post-mortum I will pass that along.

Well if you look up the word "ass-beating" in the dictionary you'd see a picture from this game. The pitching was lights out, and they crushed the ball all night, topped off by that monster home run by Thames. Just an all around great game by the Tigers. This is what good teams do to terrible teams, beat the living crap out of them. The Tigers look for the sweep tomorrow and I like their odds with Jeremy Bonderman on the hill. Also have to say I'm liking this De La Cruz kid. Thus far he's pitched two innings and only given up one hit. Very good stuff so far. Hopefully Antonio Alfonseca and his six fingers will close out the game for the Phils and we'll be in a first place tie going into tomorrow....GO TIGERS!

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 4-6

2007-06-19T20:07:00.000-04:00

TOP OF THE 4TH INNING

8:08 - Granderson leads off with a double to DEEP center. If this stadium wasn't so damn huge that would have been a home run. Tigers are hitting the hell out of the ball tonight.

8:10 - Polanco hits a single to center, and Granderson scores. Langerhans decides (for reasons beyond my comprehension) to try and throw Curtis out at home, but is no where close. That throw allows Placido to get to second for a double. 8-0 Tigers, and here comes Sheff.

8:12 - Sheff hits a single to center just under the glove of Guzman. Polanco moves to third and Simontacchi is getting the hook, and that brings in Random Shitty Nats Reliever #36 (tm)...I'm sure he'll do well.

8:18 - The blogger hamster just died on the wheel and lost my last couple posts...but Maggs singled to left, driving in Polanco and it's 9-0 Tigers with runners on first and second and no outs.

8:19 - Guillen grounds out, but moves the runners to second and third with one out.

8:21 - They "intentionally" walk Sean Casey (meaning they didn't actually intentionally walk him but they didn't give him a good pitch either) and that loads up the bases for Inge.

8:23 - Inge hits a double to the gap in right center field and that clears the bases...12-0 TIGERS! What a beat down. They just showed a replay and Austin Kearns almost fell on his ass on the warning track trying to run down that ball. That would have been HILARIOUS!

8:24 - Rod Allen says this and it makes me laugh and get angry at the same time..."This Tigers offense is sick. And I mean the good kind." I don't even have the words folks

8:25 - Rabelo strikes out looking and we've got two outs...but does it really matter at this point?

8:26 - Durbin grounds out to the pitcher to end the inning. The Tigers bat around and at this rate we could be seeing a 20 spot on the board before it's all said and done....

BOTTOM OF THE 4TH INNING

8:27 - They just showed a commercial for the MLB All Star game that featured a bunch of probable all stars riding on a cable car since it's in San Francisco. The only one out of place was Barry Zito, who will probably have to buy a ticket to go to the All Star Game like the rest of us.

8:28 - Since the Tigers are kicking the Nationals ass, Leyland has decided to give Guillen the rest of the night off, which means my least favorite Tiger, Neifi Perez, gets half a game's worth of work....ugh....

8:29 - Zimmerman hits a pop up to 3B for the first out of the inning, and Dmitri is up now looking for his second hit of the game.

8:30 - No such luck for Dmitri who flies out to Sheff in left. Two outs.

8:31 - Kearns grounds out to 3B to end the inning. Durbin has only allowed two base runners through four innings and one of them was hit by a pitch.

TOP OF THE 5TH INNING

8:32 - Whoever is behind those horrible Little Ceasar's commercials needs to be dragged out into the street and beaten to a pulp. THEY ARE TERRIBLE!

8:34 - Granderson grounds out to 1B for the first out of the inning. Can't get a hit every time.

8:35 - Polanco grounds out to 1B as well and we've got two quick outs....FSN shows the President race that happens every night in Washington. I'm sure the founding fathers are really happy that this is how they are being remembered.

8:37 - Sheff grounds out to short to end the inning. 1-2-3 inning for the Tigers, but when you are up 12-0 that's okay.

BOTTOM OF THE 5TH INNING

8:39 - Church with a DEEP fly ball to right....but it just ends up being a long out.

8:40 - Schneider gets on with an infield hit. Polanco dove for it but was only able to knock it down. Polanco grimmaced as he got up. I'm hoping he was just mad that he didn't get to it, and not injured or anything.

8:42 - Langerhans hits a single right back up the middle that almost took the head off Durbin. Runners on first and second with one out.

8:43 - Batista pinch hits for the pitcher to keep the Nats rally going...and strikes out swinging. Way to be Tony! Two outs.

8:45 - Guzman drops a single that Granderson just couldn't get to, and there goes the shut out. 12-1 and runners on first and second for Lopez.....

8:46 - ....who grounds out to short to end the inning. Everyone get excited NEIFI IS COMING UP NEXT INNING!

TOP OF 6TH INNING

8:48 - Billy Traber is in to pitch for the Nats. That's probably only a big deal if you have him on your fantasy team or something. Also Monroe is now hitting for Maggs. They show Monroe's shoes and they say "C-MO" in gold lettering on the tongue. Um...I don't even know what to say.

8:51 - Monroe flies out to center. Now he can go back and shine up his new shoes in the dugout....and HERE COMES NEIFI! Midaswell put that second out on the board right now.

8:52 - Well look at that. Neifi puts the first pitch into the gap in left center for a double. I guess a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in awhile.

8:53 - Casey flies out to right for the second out of the inning. Neifi stays at second, but then you already knew that.

8:56 - Inge grounds out to 3B to end the inning just after FSN showed a graphic that showed him in third place in the All Star 3B voting behind A-Rod and Lowell. The fact that Inge has 375,000 votes shows why fans shouldn't be allowed to vote for this stuff. How can you vote for Inge over A-Rod? Seriously people get your head out of your ass. You may not like the Yankees or A-Rod, but you should vote for the players having the best year....that's what an "All Star" game is all about.

BOTTOM OF THE 6TH INNING

9:00 - Zimmerman goes down looking and that's one down for the Nats. Durbin is throwing the ball really well tonight.

9:01 - Dmitri hits a ground rule double to right center. Good for you Dmitri...too bad your back on a shitty team. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

9:02 - Kearns his a pop up to Polanco in shallow right. Two outs and Dmitri standing on second.

9:03 - Church ends the inning with a long fly out to Monroe in left. Inning over. That's now officially a quality start for Durbin. Three innings to go....

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 1-3

2007-06-19T19:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry Washington...our logo is much cooler. Plus our team isn't shitty...

TOP OF THE 1ST INNING

7:12 - Okay so I'm a little late, but I'm just in time as Maggs just doubled in Granderson. Rod Allen just said, "Here they come." Thanks Rod. Runners on second and third with one out.

7:14 - Guillen gets Sheff home on a ground out to SS. 2-0 Tigers with Sean Casey coming up.

7:15 - Casey hits a double down the left field line, and Maggs scores. Watching Sean run gives new definition to the word "rumbling around the basepaths." 3-0 Tigers.

7:18 - Inge has got a 2-2 count on him now. I get the feeling we're going to see a swinging strikeout.

7:20 - After a wild pitch, Casey moves over to third. All Inge needs to do is get a hit and they have a four run lead....and he...walks? Really? Wow.

7:21 - Rabelo is hitting ahead of Durbin, so I'm guessing he's not going to see many strikes.

7:23 - Rabelo grounds out to 2B to end the inning. Good start for the Tigers, but with this bullpen it's needed.

BOTTOM OF THE 1ST INNING

7:25 - And here we go with what could be Chad Durbin's last start. Hopefully he'll go out with a win because losing to the Nationals would pretty much suck.

7:27 - Guzman hits what probably should have been a bloop single to right but Guillen ran that ball down. Pretty good for a guy who's hamstring is only 75%* (that figure provided by Rod Allen so take it as you will)

7:28 - Lopez tries to bunt for a hit, but Durbin was ALL OVER THAT SHIT! You can't fool Chad Durbin, Washington! Two outs.

7:29 - Zimmerman finishes off the inning with a lazy fly to center. Nice start for Durbin, 1-2-3...

7:30 - Am I the only one annoyed as hell by the Comcast lady who talks to me like I'm stupid while trying to explain to me that Michigan weather is shitty? REALLY?!? MICHIGAN WEATHER IS SHITTY? NO! This is all news to me! Comcast can go to hell.

TOP OF 2ND INNING

7:31 - Durbin leads off the inning which means you can probably pencil in an out...and just like that a grounder to short gives the Tigers one quick out.

7:32 - Granderson hits a short fly to right for the second out of the inning. Thus far the Tigers have seen 4 pitches this inning.

7:33 - Polanco grounds out to short on the third pitch he faced. Inning over. I'm guessing Leyland isn't happy that it only took 7 pitches to get through the inning.

BOTTOM OF 2ND INNING

7:35 - Dmitri Young leads off the 2nd. Nothing made me happier than seeing that asshole strike out last night when he had a chance to tie the game with a hit.

7:36 - Dmitri drives a double down the line in left. Rod says that it's just a matter of time before DY gets traded to a better team. Hopefully it's far away from Detroit.

7:37 - Kearns grounds out for the first out of the inning and since it was to short Dmitri had to stay at second.

7:38 - Church needs to get some more pine tar on his bat as he just threw the bat all the way down the first base line. That security guard was basically hiding for his life from that thing.

7:39 - Rod Allen uses the word "swagger." I'm so sick of this stinking word. Every damn announcer throws it around all the time since it's one of those snazzy buzzwords. Can we all get together and come up with a new word please?

7:41 - Church swings and misses badly at what would have been ball four. He looks pretty pist. Two outs and a man on second for the Nats.

7:43 - Schneider grounds out to first to end the inning. Durbin has looked pretty sharp thus far. He looks like a guy who wants to keep his spot in the rotation....then again this is against the Nats.

TOP OF THE 3RD INNING

7:46 - Sheffield (my Tiger) leads off, and I could hear a heckler yelling at him to "Stop swinging his bat." Um, I don't know if I would taunt Gary Sheffield....he's a scary dude.

7:47 - Sheff hits a nice single down the line in right. He's just a complete bad ass.

7:51 - Maggs gets a broken bat single to right. Sheff was running on the play and is able to get to third. Runners on the corners with no outs. I'm liking this inning thus far.

7:52 - Guillen puts the first pitch into center field, knocking in Sheff and making it 4-0 Tigers. First and second with no one out for Sean Casey.

7:53 - FINALLY! SEAN CASEY WITH A THREE-RUN HR TO RIGHT! Who would have thought that his first home run would be in the worst hitter's park they've played in? Go figure. 7-0 Tigers

7:55 - Brandon Inge does what he does best...and that's strike out swinging at a ball in the dirt, and there's your first out of the inning.

7:56 - After last night, am I the only one who doesn't feel fully comfortable with this lead? I mean it is the Nationals and all so the odds of them doing what they did last night again is questionable, but still. Rabelo grounds out for the second out of the inning.

7:58 - Durbin grounds to 3B to end the inning. Another nice inning for the Tigers. Let's keep it up!

BOTTOM OF THE 3RD INNING

8:01 - Langerhans hits a pop up to 3B for the first out of the inning. BTW, there are tens of people in Washington to see this...looks like moving from Montreal is really paying off....

8:03 - Durbin gets Simontacchi looking for his second strikeout of the game. It was a nice 2-2 pitch, but a normal hitter probably wouldn't have been fooled as badly as Simontacchi was on that pitch.

8:04 - Guzman gets hit with a pitch. DAMNIT! If they were going to hit someone they should have waited for Dmitri Young!

8:05 - Lopez swings and misses at a pitch in the dirt for Durbin's third strikeout and that ends the inning. Durbin still looking sharp having only given up one hit through three.

Tigers Live Blog Tonight!

2007-06-19T02:01:00.001-04:00

Hopefully he'll have another good night

Well after tonight's near disaster (Todd Jones just can't have a 1-2-3 ninth can he?), I decided that I'm going to liveblog tonight's game against the Nationals starting at 7:05. Chad Durbin is going for the Tigers in what could be one of his last starts depending on what Leyland does when Kenny Rogers and Nate Robertson are both back and fully healthy.

This will be a chance for me to share my dismay as the bullpen continues in their efforts to give me a heart attack (or they could just play well for a change...would be a nice change of pace), and this also helps me shake off a bit of the liveblog rust before I do the NBA Draft for Ballpimp next Thursday. So come back and join in the fun!

Let's Trade for Kobe!

2007-06-17T02:00:00.000-04:00

Okay, so he's kind of an asshole, but hear me out....

In case you haven't heard, Kobe Bryant has decided that he really wants to be traded from the Lakers. Now he could change his mind, which he has done over and over during the past two months, but let's work under the assumption that he will be traded by the Lakers. Should the Pistons look at him? OF COURSE!

I realize that a lot of people outside L.A. don't like Kobe and I can completely understand. I don't really like him that much either, however, I enjoy championships and if Kobe could bring the Pistons a title or two I think I could find a place in my heart for #24 (McDyess will have to change his number for this to work....unless Kobe wants to change it again). So I decided to go over to ESPN's Trade Machine and give it a whirl and come up with some trade scenarios that would put Kobe in the Red, White and Blue for the 2007-08 season. Let the crazy speculation begin!

Rasheed Wallace ($11.6) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

(All dollar amounts are in the millions, but since you're not an idiot you already knew that right?)

Mitch Kupchak is pretty stupid (see: Shaq trade) but I don't think he's this stupid. Obviously the Pistons would have to throw in one or both of their first round picks this year in this deal, but that's not even enough. This would get rid of two problem people for Detroit (Rasheed for his stupidity, and Nazr for his being a giant pile of crap) and give them arguably the league's best player. This would create kind of a logjam in the backcourt, and would leave the Pistons with no solid front court scoring option, but if the Lakers were stupid enough to make this trade, Dumars should immediately get the paper work to the league office before they could come to their senses.

Rip Hamilton ($9.1) and Nazr Mohammed($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

From a pure basketball standpoint this could be the best deal for the Pistons to make. They'd have to toss one or two picks in here as well, but they wouldn't really need them if they got this trade to go through. If the Pistons were able to make this deal and re-sign Chauncey they would be looking at this starting lineup of Chauncey, Kobe, Tayshaun, Rasheed, and either Maxiell or McDyess (depending on what kind of lineup you want to go with). That lineup is easily good enough to win the East and probably good enough to compete with the Spurs. This would be a better trade for the Lakers as Rip could slide into Kobe's spot and produce for them, but I still don't think they'd make this deal, though the Trade Machine doesn't account for the smell of desperation that may be coming from L.A. in the near future....

Chauncey Billups (Sign and Trade) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

For this trade to work Chauncey would obviously have to want to go to L.A, and also the Pistons would probably have to keep one of their two draft picks to use on a point guard. This is not the prettiest of trades on a pure basketball standpoint, as it would leave the Pistons without a point guard, but you could probably spin Rip into a point guard (Mike Bibby maybe?) in another deal to fix that problem. Another decent deal for the Lakers as they get Chauncey in return, though one has to ask how much of a market there is for him after this latest bad playoff performance.

You've probably noticed that I've tossed Nazr in all these trades, well since they traded Delfino already his contract is the best one to make the numbers work out. Now for my last one I've gone a little crazy....

Three Team Trade

Pistons Get: Kobe Bryant ($17.7), Shawn Marion ($15), Maurice Evans ($1.6)

Lakers Get: Rip Hamilton ($9.1), Rasheed Wallace ($11.6), Nazr Mohammed($5.2), Pistons #27 pick in draft

Suns Get: Lamar Odom ($12.3), Lindsey Hunter ($2.2), Pistons #15 draft pick

So how many parades should we plan? Two? Three? Yes folks this trade does work under the salary cap. I threw in the draft picks myself where I thought they'd be going. The Suns may get both Detroit picks in this scenario, but those can go wherever. This solves the problems for all three teams. First, the Pistons make a move to get a younger more dynamic roster with Kobe and Marion, while getting rid of problem child Rasheed. The Lakers trade Kobe (something they didn't want to do, but had to) but are able to get pretty good value back for him in the form of Rip, Rasheed, and a draft pick. Sheed should be good for the last two years on his contract since he's playing for Phil Jackson who has a track record of reigning in head cases. The Suns in the meantime get rid of Marion who is having trouble coexisting with Amare Stoudamire, while getting a pretty good player in return in Odom who will help save them some money with the luxury tax. Could be quite an interesting deal if the three teams were willing to pull it.

Well there you have it. A few different scenarios to put Kobe in Detroit. Will it happen? Probably not, but at least it makes for a fun offseason of discussion....

The Tigers' Bullpen is Trying to Kill Me

2007-06-12T16:13:00.000-04:00

This man could be the end of me....

I said I would touch upon this issue today so here goes...I think the Tigers bullpen is trying to kill me. That's the only real way to put it. Either that or they are trying to make me pull out all my hair from it's roots. Their performance as of late has me worried about every game, no matter what the score is.

Case in point, on Sunday the Tigers were up 10-3 on the Mets and I was still worried about holding onto that lead. SEVEN RUNS, and I was actually worried! Much to my non-surprise, the Mets cut the lead to four and that's when that sense of dread spilled over, at least until the Tigers scored more runs to put a good distance between them. The Tigers ended up winning, but the point is I shouldn't be worried about a game when they build a seven run lead. I should be excited about the Tigers pounding another opponent, but instead I'm nervous that our bullpen is going to cough it up. The sad thing is that Todd Jones of all people has really been the only solid pitcher in the pen the last few weeks. Everyone else seems to be a three-run homerun waiting to happen. I honestly didn't think losing Zumaya would be THIS bad, but damn.

The only solution is to trade a guy like Mike Maroth and get a decent relief pitcher in return. Hopefully this can be a pitcher that fills Zumaya's role for the timebeing as the guy you can go to for the 7th and 8th innings before handing the ball over to Jones in the 9th and praying. I know this, they need to make a move at some point because if this bullpen stays like this in October I may end up having a heart attack.

I'm Back Baby! WOOOO!!!

2007-06-12T02:31:00.000-04:00

Had to use the Terminator pic here...

It's been awhile since I last posted, and now that other things in the "real world" have sorted themselves out, it's time to get back to what I do best....and that's make sarcastic comments about sports! To honor this great occasion I've decided to just do some random shots at various sports stuff that's been happening lately, so forgive me a bit if I jump around from topic to topic.

Michael Vick Hates Animal Rights

>Vick shows his opinion for PETA

What the hell is going on with Michael Vick? First he gets popped for that water bottle that may or may not have contained marijuana, and now he's being investigated by the Feds for running a huge dog fighting operation at the house he let's his cousin stay at. I'm sure the Falcons are real excited they traded Matt Schaub right about now. Hopefully for Vick's case the Prosecutors adopt Clinton Portis' "whatever you do in your own house is your own business," stance and this whole thing blows over. By the way, I don't think I ever really want to go to Clinton's house, I'm starting to imagine it's a lawless wasteland like Thunderdome in Mad Max.

Pistons Get Bounced by the Cavs

Seeing the Cavs stink up the Finals makes me sick to my stomach

Um...what the hell happened to the Pistons? They rolled off seven straight wins to start the playoffs and then basically went in the tank. The last solid game they played this postseason was Game Two against the Bulls. Ever since that ass beating they laid on Chicago they seemed to be playing in cruise control. It worked for two more wins against the Bulls and two close wins in Games One and Two against Cleveland, but once LeBron got rolling that was it for the Pistons. Everyone's been over and over how the series ended and we've all gotten to listen to various announcers give LeBron the biggest suck off this side of the one John Madden bestows on Brett Favre...so let's take a look at the future of the Pistons

CHAUNCEY BILLUPS: How do you pay this guy max money after the last two flame outs in the post season? Chauncey has struggled in the last two Eastern Finals and he's expecting to get max money for six years?!? I like Chauncey, but I think "Mr. Big Shot" (and really, how many big shots has he actually made during the last two playoffs? I'm willing to bet he's missed more than he's made) isn't worth that kind of commitment. This team needs a radical change and I think a sign and trade with Chauncey may be the best bet to get some quality assets in return.
RASHEED WALLACE: Let's forget how Rasheed basically went nuts at the end of game six and effectively cost the Pistons any chance at a comeback, and let's look at one basic question. Can Rasheed and Flip coexist another year? I honestly think the answer to that is an emphatic no. We all knew this day would come when the Pistons traded for Sheed in 2004. He's a great player for stretches, and is pretty unstoppable when he has his turnaround jumper going, but I think his time in Detroit has come to an end. Trading Sheed isn't going to be easy though. He has a contract worth $12 million and character issues to boot. I would say that the obvious solution would be to trade him to Portland for Zach Randolph (who would provide the Pistons with a good low post scorer/rebounder) but there's no way the Blazers are taking Sheed back....right?
CHRIS WEBBER: I swear to God they had better not resign this piece of shit. My disdain for C-Webb has been well chronicled, but even the biggest C-Webb supporters would be hard pressed to argue that he didn't look terrible in the playoffs. I honestly think I can out jump him at this point, and that's saying a lot because I have a pretty small vertical leap. If Joe D resigns Webber, I may not go to a game next season in protest. LET HIS SORRY ASS GO!!!
THE REST: I think the Pistons should resign McDyess, let Lindsey retire, and resign Amir Johnson. Beyond that they need to draft a point guard (I'll cover more of the NBA Draft stuff in a future post) and probably another big with their first round picks (if they don't trade them away in some sort of blockbuster deal though).

In the end the Pistons need to make some changes. This team has flamed out two straight years in the conference finals and I don't see how a team that's just getting older will do any better if they don't break up the starting five. If they keep this team together for another year we could be risking going into a long funk like what happened after the Bad Boys stayed together a bit too long. I for one don't want to go through that crap again.

Well that's it for now. I'm going to do a full post on the Tigers' Bullpens attempt at murdering me sometime tomorrow. Until then...peace out y'all!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2007-05-07T14:59:00.000-04:00

Please don't be serious. We'll have to use JOSE MESA!!!

I think that on a day like today, Tigers fans shouldn't have to work. I for one am on pins and needles waiting to hear what the diagnosis is on Joel Zumaya's throwing hand. On Saturday when he was warming up to come in he heard a "pop" and everyone from the Tigers is acting like it's pretty serious. Joel got an MRI yesterday and everyone is now waiting to hear the results.

All I have to say is this....PLEASE DON'T BE SERIOUS! Have you seen what we have in that bullpen? I know Zumaya can have his off days (fastball pitchers will always give up some home runs from time to time) but it looks like if he's out for awhile they'll have JOSE MESA in his set up role. Dear God no. I don't know if my heart can take that, especially when he's followed up by Todd "I'll always put the tying run on base" Jones.

So please be okay Joel. You can play all the Guitar Hero you want if you are.....PLEASE!

NFL Draft Live Blog....On a Different Site

2007-04-28T10:49:00.000-04:00

Howdy folks! I am doing a liveblog of the 2007 NFL Draft, but it's over at Footblog.com so feel free to come over and check it out. Enjoy!

Nate The Great

2007-04-11T11:06:00.000-04:00

Badass....

Last night Nate Robertson showed once again why he's the most underrated pitcher on the Tigers' staff by throwing seven shut out innings as the they got back into the win column with a 3-1 win in Baltimore. Nate had more strike outs (5) than hits (4) and improved his record to 2-0 with an ERA of 1.38. Very very good stuff from Nate last night and hopefully he's able to keep this up during the season. Joel Zumaya gave up the only run on a solo home run to Corey Patterson in the eighth, but as a fastball pitcher you tend to give those up sometimes. Todd Jones worked the ninth and got his fourth save of the young season, and also managed not to put the tying run on base, which is a welcome change.

As for the hitters, last night was hit and miss. Curtis Granderson continued his great start to the season going 2-3 (2 doubles) with 2 runs scored. Placido just continued being Placido going 2-3 with an RBI. The problems are coming in the middle of the order where Gary Sheffield and Magglio Ordonez just aren't getting it done right now. Last night they went a combined 0-8 and are hitting .120 and .200 respectively. Does it bother me a little that the middle of our order is hitting so poorly? Yes. Am I really worried about it long term? No. I think a little of the Tigers hitting struggles have to do with playing in the cold weather, and that is going to change in the coming weeks. Sheffield is a great hitter and a lot of his outs have been screaming line drives hit right to outfielders, and eventually those are going to drop, so I'm not worried. Plus even with the hitting being so poor the Tigers are still 4-3 so they are weathering the storm.

All in all the Tigers got a nice win last night and another solid outing from their starting pitching. That's one thing (Chad Durbin's HORRID start notwithstanding) that has been going prety well for the Tigers thus far. Now if those bats heat up soon then this team is going to start clicking....

Get Andrew Miller Up Here....NOW!

2007-04-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

Time to cut that Lakeland shit out...

The game isn't over yet, but I've seen enough. Chad Durbin is on my official shit list. HORRIBLE outing for Chad against the Orioles, and I've seen enough of him as the replacement for Kenny Rogers in the starting rotation.

I hate to say it but six runs on six hits over 4 2/3 innings is not going to cut it. I say we just cut our losses now and pull Miller up from the minors and see what he can do. I'm pretty sure he can pitch a little better than the crap I saw on my TV today. Hopefully the Tigers can rally here for the win, but either way I'm hoping that Durbin is done.

Yes I realize that this is a knee jerk reaction after one start, but I was of the opinion that Durbin was better off in the bullpen to begin with and they should have just went with Miller right away. This is just good ammunition to make that happen. We'll see.

Well That Was Harder Than It Should Have Been

2007-04-04T16:28:00.000-04:00

Do you always have to put the tying run in scoring position? SERIOUSLY?!?!

Okay, so that was WAY more exciting than it should have been. The Tigers just beat the Blue Jays 10-9, but they were up 9-0 at one point and it shouldn't have been that close. Nate Robertson almost got screwed out of a decision he earned with some solid pitching. Thank God they held on.

Now there are a lot of positives to take from this game, and I'll tackle those before we hit the things that make me want to pull my hair out.

Nate Robertson - 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 K's

Nate pitched about as well as you'd expect. He had pretty good command of all of his pitches and was able to limit his walks (2). His only mistake was the home run ball he gave to Troy Glaus. Other than that he was as good as you can expect from him. He even went to the dugout with a seven run lead. I'm sure he wasn't thinking there would be a chance at a no decision.

Curtis Granderson - 2 for 5, 1 HR, 5 RBI's, 1 BB

Curtis is looking GOOD at the plate to start the season. He did strike out twice, but when he put the bat on the ball he made quite the impact. A Grand Slam and an RBI triple. Not a bad day at all.

Pudge Rodriguez - 4 for 5, 1 R

As bad as Pudge looked yesterday at the plate, he looked that good today. He was able to slap the ball to the opposite field, as usual, and get on base. Very good day.

Now I would also say Placido Polanco had a good game as well (3 for 5, with a run and an RBI) but he's the absolute balls so I have come to expect that from him. He could be my favorite Tiger other than Joel Zumaya (have to love a guy who plays Guitar Hero and has a flame tattoo on his arm).

Unfortunately there was some negative things in this game as well, which usually happens when you are up 9-0 and end up winning by one run. Let's take a look at that....

Magglio Ordnez's Outfield Hijinks (tm)

During the Blue Jays comeback in the eighth, Maggs decided that playing right field was a bit too easy and decided to mess things up a bit. First he didn't run down what looked like a catchable ball (which would have been the second out of the inning) and then with the bases loaded and one out he decided to try and lay out for a ball (which didn't look like he even had a chance to catch) and ended up just sliding past it which allowed all three runners to score instead of the one runner that would have scored had he let it drop. Also pretty much every other ball hit his way looked like he lost it somewhere before he made the catch. He just looked very shaky today.

Brandon Inge - 0 for 4, 3 K's

It's gotten to the point that whenever Inge steps to the plate I expect a strikeout. The lasting image of the World Series for me (beyond the pitcher errors) is Inge's horrible looking strikeouts, which include the one that ended the Series. He just looks completely fooled right now. Hopefully he rights the ship and starts hitting the damn ball.

Fernando Rodney - 2/3 IP, 3 H, 2 ER

Through two games Rodney is not hitting the mark. He didn't look great yesterday when he lost the game in the 10th, and looked just as bad today when he allowed the Jays to get two more runs to cut the lead to one. When Rodney has command he's lights out, but when he's bad, he's really bad, but I think he'll straighten things out.

Also while Todd Jones did come in and close things out in the ninth, is there a reason he has to put the tying run in scoring position EVERY GAME?!?! This time he gave up a one out single, and then walked the next batter to put the tying and winning runs on and then got the next two outs. The man is trying to kill me. I swear to God. JUST GIVE ME A 1-2-3 INNING PLEASE!

All in all a win is a win, and this will look good in the W column, but there are definitely some things that need to be improved.

Michigan's Going to Make it Rain (Threes that is..)

2007-04-03T13:47:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Ann Arbor John! Now get us to the NCAA's

According to reports from pretty much every media outlet, Michigan has found the man who will replace the void left by the departure of Tommy Amaker's mock turtlenecks. That man is West Virginia's John Beilein.

I personally like this hire, as Beilein has proven himself to be the Anti-Amaker in that he takes players with less talent and actually makes them good, instead of taking players with talent and making them worse. If you enjoy three pointers (and who doesn't?) get ready because Beilein coached teams go crazy from three. West Virginia was second in the NCAA this season averaging 10.3 three pointers a game (those are three pointers made, not shot). He also runs a wacky 1-3-1 defense that should change things up a bit, and has lead his teams consistently to the NCAA Tournament.

Hopefully all the top recruits stick around to play for Beilein, but all that remains to be seen. I can say that for the first time in a long time I'm excited to see some Michigan basketball, as I think this team will be a lot more fun to watch with a good coach.

So welcome to Ann Arbor Coach Beilein, and GO BLUE!

Opening Day Live Blog: Blue Jays vs. Tigers Extra Innings

2007-04-02T15:49:00.000-04:00

Let's get some runs!!!!! (It worked last time...)

TOP OF 10th INNING

3:51 PM - Fernando Rodney in to pitch. Guillen moves to first and Perez moves to short. Can't wait to see Neifi get an at-bat and ground out to second. LOVE IT!

3:54 PM - Rodney fields a ball and makes a GREAT throw to first. WHERE WAS THIS IN THE WORLD SERIES?!?!?! One down....

3:56 PM - Overbay gets a bloop single to center after he clearly went around on strike three but the blind umpire didn't see that. Umpires already screwing the Tigers.....

3:58 PM - Impemba and Allen talk about Rod's new TV again. I'm already starting to smash my head againts my desk....

4:00 PM - Mario decides to jinx the Tigers by saying the fans are sticking around to, "See a Tigers win." I expect Wells to homer on the next pitch...

4:01 PM - Wells draws the walk and now the go ahead run is in scoring position with one out as Frank Thomas walks to the plate.

4:02 PM - Thomas breaks a bat on a foul ball and then spends an insane amount of time looking for a new bat in the clubhouse. CHECK FOR CORK!!!

4:04 PM - Right after an 0-2 pitch is called a ball even though it looked like a strike, Rodney hits Thomas to load the bases. I'm blaming Mario Impemba if we lose this. Damn jinx.

4:06 PM - Glaus hits an 0-2 pitch to left for an RBI. 4-3 Jays with the bases still loaded and one out.

4:08 PM - Rios knocks in another run on a grounder to third. Inge only had a play at first. 5-3 Jays with two outs and runners on second and third.

4:10 PM - Zaun strikes out swinging to end the inning, but the damage has been done. 5-3 Jays with the top of the Tigers order coming up in the 10th.....

BOTTOM OF 10TH INNING

4:14 PM - BJ Ryan in to try and close it out. Granderson helps the cause by striking out swinging. Tigers down to their last two outs....

4:16 PM - Polanco gets his third hit of the game, which comes in the form of a single to shallow right center field. It's not over yet folks.

4:17 PM - So the same ump who screwed us on the Reed Johnson check swing screws us again and says Sheff went around on a similar looking swing. Two outs with Mags coming up.

4:19 PM - Mags draws the walk, so runners on second and first with Guillen representing the winning run at the plate. Nice to see these games are already stressful and it's April 2nd.

4:20 PM- Well that was fun. Guillen pops out on the first pitch. 5-3 Blue Jays the final. Rodney takes the loss, and Mario Impemba draws my damnation after jinxing the Tigers. They played pretty well over all, just the little breaks didn't go their way. Hopefully Wednesday is a bounce back game. GO TIGERS!

Opening Day Live Blog: Blue Jays vs. Tigers Innings 7-9

2007-04-02T11:21:00.000-04:00

He's good with the glove today...not so much with the bat

TOP OF 7TH INNING

2:55 PM - Joel Zumaya checks in and immediately gets Hill to fly out to right. Only 93 MPH on that one. Must have been a change up....One out.

2:58 PM - Clayton draws a walk after working the count to 3-2. Zumaya got behind 3-0 in this matchup, so he at least fought back.

3:00 PM - Johnson takes one DEEP to the warning track, but Monroe makes another great leaping catch out in left. Looks like my picture was prophetic. Two outs, with Clayton still on first. Nice play, Craig. Way to make up for the strike outs.

3:02 PM - Overbay with a shot up the middle but Guillen makes a nice play on it and that's the end of the inning. No triple digits for Zumaya, but a zero in the run column is just as nice. 3-3 after 6 1/2.

BOTTOM OF 7TH INNING

3:05 PM - Couple of guys with Chef hats on are holding up a sign that says "SHEFF'S CHEF'S." Why the apostrophe on Chefs guys? Thanks for showing off Detroit's intelligence.

3:07 PM - Inge with a ground out to third off Blue Jay reliver Janssen. One down.

3:08 PM - Granderson with a soft shot to Clayton. Two quick outs.

3:09 PM - Polanco grounds out to third to end the 1-2-3 inning. 3-3 after seven.

TOP OF 8TH INNING

3:10 PM - Bad news for Charter Cable viewers in Southeast Michigan. Apparently they may be getting rid of Versus, just in time fo Detroit fans to miss the NHL playoffs. Great move Charter, I would expect a lot of angry phone calls from people with quasi-Canadian accents, eh.

3:13 PM - Zumaya starts his second inning of work by getting Wells to ground out to short. His changeup is NASTY. Joel is the balls. One out.

3:15 PM - Thomas stikes out swinging and throws the bat into the front row. Nice catch by the fan though. Apparently Thomas is being a prick and is asking for it back. You throw it into the stands it belongs to us Frank. This is DETROIT! YOU WATCH YOURSELF! WE'RE CRAZY!

3:17 PM - Zumaya walks Glaus on a pitch that is JUST outside. Two outs, one man on.

3:18 PM - It's okay though because Rios grounds out to end the inning. 3-3 after 7 1/2

BOTTOM OF 8TH INNING

3:18 PM - Sheff is leading off the eighth and already has two RBI's on the day. Is it too much to ask for a home run here?

3:20 PM - Sheffield with a nice drive to left center, but Wells is able to run it down for the first out of the inning.

3:21 PM - Todd Jones warming up in the Tigers pen. For the good of my heart can we score a run now! Jones in a tie game is SCARY!

3:22 PM - Mags records the second out of the inning on an infield grounder. Not looking good for the Tigers this inning.

3:23 PM - Guillen ends the inning with a fly out to center. 3-3 after eight and here comes Todd Jones....

TOP OF 9TH INNING

3:26 PM - Well that's a good start. Jones gets Zaun to fly out to Guillen and that's one down.

3:29 PM - Hill gets a walk (stunner) and that brings up "former Tiger" Matt Stairs who played about ten games for us last year.

3:30 PM - WOOOOOO!!!! Jones gets Stairs to ground into a 6-3 double play and that's the end of the inning. 3-3 after 8 1/2. Walk off home run perhaps?

BOTTOM OF 9TH INNING

3:34 PM - Fernando Rodney warming up for the Tigers. Probably means if this goes extra we won't see any more of Jones. My heart thanks Jim Leyland in advance.

3:35 PM - Pudge strikes out swining on a fast ball right down the center of the plate. Hopefully he shakes off this bad day on Wednesday. One out.

3:36 PM - Janssen gets the hook, which could be a good thing as he's retired all seven Tigers he's faced. Hopefully this leads to good things.

3:42 PM - Scott Downs checks in and walks Sean Casey. Waste of space Neifi Perez comes in to pinch run for Casey. Gibbons is channeling Tony LaRussa and pulls Downs for another situational reliever. FUN!

3:43 PM - They show Mr. Ilitch up in his owner's box. Is it just me or has he had some work done on his face recently? He looks less ghoul-like. Nate Robertson has the gum going in the dugout too. Just so you know.

3:47 PM - Jason Frasor comes through the Blue Jays revolving pitching door, and strikes out Monroe swinging. If you're scoring at home that's four K's on the day for C-Mo. Fantastic start.

3:48 PM - Noted moron Neifi Perez almost gets picked off first after messing up a steal attempt. He's alread in mid-season form. UGH!!!

3:49 PM - Inge with a broken bat grounder to third to end the inning. And we're going to extras all tied up at 3.

Opening Day Live Blog: Blue Jays vs. Tigers Innings 4-6

2007-04-02T11:15:00.000-04:00

Let's get some runs!!!!!

TOP OF 4TH INNING

2:11 PM - Zaun with a soft shot to Guillen for the first out of the inning. Bonderman looking MUCH better.

2:12 PM - Lazy pop up to Inge and that's two quick outs.

2:14 PM - Clayton grounds out to Guillen, and that's six straight outs for Bonderman. I'm liking what I'm seeing....3-1 Jays after 3 1/2

BOTTOM OF 4TH INNING

2:17 PM - Pudge leads off with a ground out to third. That was a quick first out.

2:18 PM - Casey lines out to second, and we already are up to two outs for Craig Monroe.

2:19 PM - Monroe strikes out swinging for the second time. Good start, Craig. Inning over 1-2-3. 3-1 Jays after four.

TOP OF 5TH INNING

2:21 PM - Having not seen local Detroit programming in awhile, I forgot how stupid Little Ceasars commercials are. UGH!!

2:22 PM - Johnson flys out for the seventh straight Blue Jay out. Bonderman is finally getting things together.

2:23 PM - Overbay flys out to left. Monroe catches it despite "fighting the wind." Two outs. Allen then decides it's time to talk about his new plasma TV. I don't care asshole.

2:24 PM - Wells strikes out and that's nine straight outs for Bonderman. 3-1 Jays after 4 1/2.

BOTTOM OF 5TH INNING

2:28 PM - Inge draws a walk. Wait...what? Really? Huh.

2:29 PM - HERE WE GO! Granderson hits a nice double to right center. Runners on second and third with no outs! RALLY TIME!

2:32 PM - Polanco with an RBI single to left. Inge scores and Curtis moves to third. 3-2 Jays, and here comes Sheff....

2:34 PM - Hill makes a great play to run down a foul ball, but Granderson scores with some nice baserunning. It's all tied up with one out!

2:36 PM - Mags with a fly out to shallow left field. Two outs with Polanco still on first.

2:37 PM - Guillen with a can of corn to left to end thing inning. 3-3 after five.

TOP OF 6TH INNING

2:41 PM - Thomas leads off with a single to left. That breaks the streak of nine straight outs for the Blue Jays.

2:42 PM - Leyland is coming out to talk to Bonderman. Zumaya is warming up his flame thrower in the bullpen. This will probably be Bonderman's last inning....

2:43 PM - Monroe pulls back a home run from Glaus. Phew! One LONG out.....

2:45 PM - Wild pitch moves Thomas up to second. Hopefully that doesn't come back to hurt them.

2:46 PM - Rios goes down swinging for big out. Thomas on second but there are now two outs.

2:46 PM - Zaun grounds out to Casey at first. Inning over. 3-3 after 6 1/2

BOTTOM OF 6TH INNING

2:48 PM - Some lady has a sign that says she loves Mario Impemba and Rod Allen. She needs to be made sterile for the good of mankind. She should not be allowed to pass on that DNA.

2:50 PM - Pudge strikes out looking on three pitches. He's not looking good today.

2:51 PM - Casey flys out to left. If it was more of a line drive it's probably a double, instead it's an easy second out.

2:53 PM - Monroe swings at ball four for his third strike out of the day. He also lost his bat and threw it about a mile. Nice to see something leaving the plate with Craig up today. 3-3 after six.

Opening Day Live Blog: Blue Jays vs. Tigers Innings 1-3

2007-04-02T11:11:00.000-04:00

Jeremy Bonderman is ready to get it started...

TOP OF 1ST INNING

12:49 PM - Funny thing during player introductions. Everybody got a great cheer from the crowd, except Neifi Perez who got a nice round of boos. I love Detroit fans. Just awesome.

12:56 PM - They just showed an interview with starting pitcher Jeremy Bonderman. He is a great young pitcher, but he has zero personality.

1:00 PM - FSN leads off the broadcast with some Green Day. Standard fare from FSN Detroit. I still hate Mario Impemba.

1:05 PM - First pitch....ball. Starting pitcher Jeremy Bonderman. Another hard throwing pitcher from the Tigers. Hopefully his change up is ready to go.

1:06 PM - Not a good start. Bonderman walks Johnson. Way to kick things off.

1:08 PM - Johnson steals second, and now the Jays have a runner in scoring position for Overbay. 1-2 count.

1:09 PM - Overbay hits a LONG double over Craig Monroe. Johnson scores, 1-0 Blue Jays.

1:11 PM - Wells gets a single up the middle. Overbay scores and it's 2-0 Blue Jays already. Bonderman seems to have some jitters.

1:13 PM - Finally, Bonderman gets the first out, as he gets Thomas to fly out to Polanco in shalloow right. About time.

1:14 PM - Wells steals second, which makes that two steals in the inning. Pudge looks a bit rusty on his throws. He should have had Wells.

1:15 PM - Glaus hits an infield fly to Polanco. Two down.

1:16 PM - Rios hits a routine fly to left, but it drops in between Monroe and Guillen. Rod Allen blames the wind, but that's because he's an idiot. 3-0 Blue Jays.

1:17 PM - Good lord. Zaun hits a grounder to Casey who bobbles it before getting the third out. Tigers looking very sloppy today. 3-0 Jays after the first half of the first.

BOTTOM OF 1ST INNING

1:19 PM - Roy Halladay starting for the Jays. Already has a three run cushion which is not good.

1:21 PM - Granderson gets things going, with a 0-2 single to left. Nice to see him avoid the K there.

1:23 PM - Polanco hits a chopper back to Halladay. Moves Granderson to second, but that's the first out of the inning.

1:25 PM - Sheffield breaks his bat on a shot to third. Easy play for Glaus. Two outs.

1:26 PM - Mags breaks his beat on foul ball. Halladay is throwing pretty hard right now, but is already up to 18 pitches.

1:27 PM - Mags grounds out to short on a nice play by Royce Clayton. 3-0 Jays after the first.

TOP OF 2ND INNING

1:31 PM - Bonderman gets Hill to fly out to center. His control is all over the place though. Not sharp at all today.

1:32 PM - Clayton gets a single to right on a fastball that Bonderman left up in the zone. Shouldn't be giving away those pitches when you're ahead in the count.

1:36 PM - Johnson hits a foul ball pop up that Pudge gets easily. Could have doubled off Clayton at first, but Pudge had his back turned and didn't see it. Two outs.

1:38 PM - Overbay draws a walk, and Jeremy just doesn't look comfortable. Pitching Coach Chuck Hernandez comes out for a chat. Perhaps he could suggest Jeremy to throw strikes maybe?

1:40 PM - First pitch after the mound visit? An inside pitch that almost hits Vernon Wells in the face. Nice.

1:41 PM - Wells flys out to Mags in right to end the inning. 3-0 Jays after 1 1/2.

BOTTOM OF 2ND INNING

1:43 PM - John Keating does an interview with Sheffield's wife. She seems happy to be in Detroit. Or so she says.

1:44 PM - Guillen leads off the inning with a routine grounder to short. One out.

1:45 PM - Keating ends his Mrs. Sheffield interview by plugging her music website. Impemba and Allen then wax poetic on how great of a singer she is. Nice in-game commercial.

1:45 PM - Pudge flys out to center. Two outs. He broke his bat, which makes three for the game for the Tigers. Maybe we should stop getting the cheap bats.

1:46 PM - Casey with a nice single to left. It's going to be great to have him for a full season. Two strike hits like that are great.

1:48 PM - Monroe is looking in mid-season form already as he strikes out swinging. Inning over. 3-0 Jays after two.

TOP OF 3RD INNING

1:52 PM - Bonderman gets Thomas swinging for his first strikeout of the season. In a developing story his pitch count is really high. We coud be seeing the bullpen early in this one.

1:53 PM - Glaus hits a pop up to shallow center, Granderson has no problem getting to it for the second out of the inning.

1:54 PM - Rios flys out to Monroe in left to end the inning. Bonderman sits them down in order and seems to be getting his control issues worked out. 3-0 Jays after 2 1/2.

BOTTOM OF 3RD INNING

1:56 PM - So this inning Keating is talking to Kirk Maltby. Why? Also why are they doing this during the Tigers half of the inning? This all doesn't make much sense.

1:57 PM - Inge hits a shot to second, which is bobbled and he beats out the throw at first. Mark that down as an error folks, but I'll take it.

1:58 PM - Granderson hits a 2DP ball up the middle, but Inge was running on the pitch so they only get Curtis at first. One out.

2:00 PM - Polanco hits a line drive to right for a single. Inge holds up a third though and we have the makings of a rally with Sheff coming up.

2:01 PM - Sheffield hits a shot to left, but right at the left fielder. Inge does score on the sacrifice though. Two outs...3-1 Jays.

2:04 PM - Mags takes a 3-2 pitch to left for a single. Runners on first and second for Guillen. LET'S KEEP IT GOING!

2:08 PM - Carlos hits a LONG out to right to end the rally. End of three Tigers down 3-1.

Live Blog Monday...Enjoy the Weekend!

2007-03-30T16:42:00.000-04:00

You ready for baseball? I know I am!

Well that's it for me for this week, unless something strikes my fancy over the weekend. Big weekend with the Final Four, WrestleMania (yep, I watch wrestling), and the American Gladiators marathon on ESPN Classic. Busy, busy, busy.

It doesn't end there though. Monday is OPENING DAY! I will be returning Monday with a liveblog of the Tigers opening day game against the Toronto Blue Jays. Please feel free to come back and enjoy! Have a great weekend!

Paging Andrew Miller....

2007-03-30T14:13:00.000-04:00

Well at least he'll be fresh for the second half....

In case you haven't already heard, ESPN is reporting on the Tigers/Yankees broadcast today that Kenny Rogers underwent surgery on his shoulder to remove a blood clot and repair some arteries and will miss the first three months of the season. Dave Dombrowski says that Rogers will be throwing in 6-8 weeks, but that we shouldn't expect him back until, "July."

With the Rogers situation now stretching from 15 days to July you have to think the Tigers are going to take a hard look at bringing Andrew Miller up from the minors MUCH sooner than originally expected. Right now Chad Durbin is going to start in Rogers' place but you have to think that's not going to be the long term answer. Miller is a future stud by all accounts and the Tigers already have had serious discussions about bringing him up to replace Rogers while he's hurt. I don't see Miller staying in the minors past the end of April at the latest, especially if Durbin falters.

Obviously I'm as bummed as anyone at this Rogers injury, but I am happy to hear that we'll get him back this year instead of losing the whole season. The Tigers staff is good enough to stem the tide without Kenny, and maybe this turn of events helps Miller progress faster than originally planned. Either way this is a loss for the Tigers, but not as big as it could have been.

God Smiles Upon College Football!

2007-03-30T13:25:00.000-04:00

Pop the champagne everyone! Our nightmare is over!

I have only two words I can say right now, THANK GOD! In today's Miami Herald (scroll down to the second item in the story) they report that Joe Theismann has turned down ESPN's offer to be an analyst on college football. Apparently all of our collective prayers have been answered. WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY!

Not on that but it also reports that apparently Theismann is being banished to the land of wind and ghosts that is ESPN Radio, with perhaps a spot here and there on some ESPN NFL programming. So in the end we all get what we wanted and that's no Joe Theismann on any game broadcast this year! I don't even know how to celebrate adequately. For now I'll just settle for a celebratory WOOOOO!!!!! NO JOE THEISMANN!!!!!!!

A Plea to Joe Theismann

2007-03-29T12:57:00.000-04:00

Oh, dear God no....

As I'm sure you're already keenly aware of, it was announced this week that Joe Theismann will be replaced on Monday Night Football by Ron Jaworski next season. This was met with a collective roar of approval from pretty much everyone who enjoys watching football on Monday Nights, including yours truly. Then came the news that made my heart sink...

"Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president for studio and remote production, said Monday that ESPN had great respect for Theismann as an analyst and would offer him another job."

You know what that "other job" is? Well according to Theismann it's the analyst job on Saturday Night College Football. To that I say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Currently Theismann is weighing his options before making a decision. Here is a quote from him about the entire situation that pretty much sums up why he'd be horrible on college football.

"I've been an NFL guy since 1974, so for 33 years now that's been my life," Theismann said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "Now you are faced with the prospect of that not being in your future. It would be like training to be a doctor or a lawyer and having them say, 'we would like you to change to another profession.' I need some time to think about it."

Okay. First of all why the hell are you comparing yourself to a doctor or lawyer, Joe? You talk about football for a living. Is there some specialized training required for this, and if so, then how the hell did Michael Irvin get a job? And how is this changing a profession? Is talking about football different when it's pro and college? I know that white stripe on the football can be tricky and scary but I think you'd be able to manage. Apparently Joe forgot he played college football (you changed your name to rhyme with "Heisman" remember? Savy marketing at the Golden Dome).

You can obviously see that Theismann's heart isn't going to be in this, so why offer him the job? How can you replace Kirk Herbstreit and, um, Bob Davie (I guess) with a guy who obviously doesn't want to be analyzing college football? Let's not forget that Theismann has always been a horrible analyst anyway, but it's going to be worse when he's covering a sport that he's not as interested in. For those of us who care about college football (in my case, more so than the NFL) this would be a horrible move. I really enjoyed the Saturday Night Football package last year (though I could do with less Notre Dame thanks) and this would just make me cringe. We already have to deal with freaking Paul McGuire doing college football, please don't force Joe Theismann down our throats too! I suppose the only true justice would be taking both of them and throwing them with Pam Ward on Tuesday night MAC games. I'd be okay with that.

I'm down to one last resort, so I'm addressing the end of this to Joe Theismann himself. You don't want to take this job, Joe. You're an NFL guy, you should stick to the sport you are already terrible at instead of branching out and tainting the broadcast of another sport. Please, for the good of everyone, DON'T DO COLLEGE FOOTBALL! PLEASE! A nation of college football fans await your response.

Rasheed Calls Glass

2007-03-27T13:52:00.000-04:00

Just amazing....

I'm pretty sure you've already seen this, but it's worth seeing again. Last night with the Pistons down three to the Nuggets with 1.5 seconds left, Tayshaun Prince got his head on the inbound pass and Rasheed Wallace picked up the loose ball and sent it 60 feet off glass and in to tie it up and send it to overtime. The Nuggets were obviously demoralized and kind of slept walk through overtime en route to a Pistons victory, but that shot was just amazing. George Karl says it was pure luck, but having been to Pistons practice a few times in my old job, I have seen Sheed and various other Pistons practicing shots like those all the time. The blog Need4Sheed has a video that shows Sheed practicing shots like the one from last night. Seeing this also makes me think of another similar shot from 2004...

That shot was from Game Five against the Nets in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. That also sent the game to overtime, but the Pistons would lose that game after Brian Scalabrine went out of his mind and started drilling three pointers. The Pistons did go on to win the NBA Title in 2004, so hopefully this shot is also a sign of things to come. Either way it was pretty incredible.

Tigers Can Play Disrespect Card

2007-03-26T15:37:00.000-04:00

Go ahead and disrespect the Tigers. That's how we like it....

Today I'm sitting and watching some spring training baseball (Red Sox vs. Reds on ESPN) and the topic turned to the American League playoff race and both John Sciambi and Rick Sutcliffe proceeded to hate on the Tigers chances to make the playoffs this year. The reasons you ask? Well obviously well thought out baseball reasons like...

The Tigers made a big leap last year and since other teams that made big leaps fell off the next year, then the Tigers are due for this as well
They were healthy last year and apparently that means they'll be a walking M.A.S.H. unit this season

I love how there really isn't a factual baseball reason included in there. Probably because you can't really come up with one. They are the same team that went to the World Series last year and they just got better by adding Gary Sheffield. So instead of finding legit baseball reasons why the Tigers won't make the playoffs, you get people who grasp at straws in trying to explain it. Now that's just the reasons the Tigers won't make it. They then went on to talk about the other teams in the AL Central and why they will make it instead of the Tigers. Here's what they had to say about the Twins...

They have the best pitcher in baseball (Johan Santana), the AL MVP (Justin Morneau) and a great closer so if they are in the lead after five innings they will win.

Apparently having one good starting pitcher is all you need in baseball now. I mean if Johan Santana can win 20 games then the Twins should be set right? You only need 20 wins to take a division right? Excuse me if I don't think the Twins are going to be any better this year, in fact I think they'll be worse. Let's not forget that they were HORRIBLE at the beginning of the season until Liriano came up from the minors and saved that season. This year they are missing both Liriano (arm fell off) and Brad Radke (retired) and they replaced them with Sidney Ponson (!) and Ramon Ortiz. The problem with the Twins it that after Santana the rest of their starting pitching is either suspect or terrible. I guess if they just canceled the games between Santana starts they'd be set but I don't know if MLB will allow that.

Oh, and the White Sox?

"I just like the White Sox" - Sutcliffe

Um, okay. Thanks for that thought provoking analysis. Is there a paticular reason you like the White Sox? Remember, this was a team that faded last season and all they really did this offseason was trade AWAY one of their better pitchers (Freddy Garcia).

In the end the Tigers are the only team in the AL Central (beyond possibly the Indians) who did anything to make themselves better in the offseason so I'm having trouble figuring out why no one is picking them to do anything. I guess I can be happy though for the Tigers to prove them all wrong again and make the playoffs. GO TIGERS!

It's Almost Baseball Season! WOOOOO!!!

2007-03-23T14:29:00.000-04:00

Just awesome. Gives me chills!

Well baseball season starts up next weekend, and with that I think it's time to take a look back at last season's magical run for the Detroit Tigers. For a person who had spent half of his life dealing with the Tigers as a laughing stock, it was pretty unbelievable to see them go to the World Series.

I followed them all the way there. Went to Game 2 of the ALDS (in Yankee Stadium...and didn't get stabbed!), Game 4 of the ALCS (for Magg's walk off), and Game 2 of the World Series (sadly the Tigers only win of the Series), and it was unbelievable. Magg's walk off home run was the happiest single moment I've been apart of as a sports fan. I will never forget that night in downtown Detroit and hopefully there are many more memories to come.

Thank God baseball is almost back! GO TIGERS!

Matt Millen's NFL Draft Tomfoolery (tm)

2007-03-20T14:53:00.000-04:00

I'm a fucking genius. BOW AND KNEEL BEFORE MILLEN!

Well the NFL Draft is fast approaching, which is what we Lions fans like to call "Our Super Bowl," so what better time to check in and see what our fearless leader Matt Millen* has to think about some of the top prospects whose careers could be wasted in the Honolulu Blue and Silver.

Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame

Millen's Take: "Well this kid is a little pretty, you know? I like that. You know Joey Harrington was like a son to me, and he was a kind pretty too. I know I'm a badass former NFL linebacker but I have a soft spot in my heart for the cute guys. He really is shitty in big games which is fine for us because we don't play any big games anyway. Can't really deal with a pass rush, but he'll get better at it from all the practice he'd have here in Detroit. I think getting smashed to bits builds character which is why I've decided not to upgrade the offensive line since I've been here. Makes the game more interesting. Also Brady doesn't help our team immediately which is great because they I can tell Mr. Ford to give me more time since he needs that to develop. Should get me another contract extension. SCORE!"

Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin

Millen's Take: "This is a big fucking kid. He may have even had a chance to block me if he had any testicles. He went to Wisconsin where he probably just sat around in the snow eating cheese and having sex with overweight women in Brett Favre jerseys. I fucking hate the Packers. Why can't we beat them? If I were still young and playing at Penn State I would have beat the shit out of this kid. He may have quick feet but I'm MATT MILLEN. You don't block Matt Millen if you are from some pussy school like Wisconsin. I also don't even need this kid. I traded for some guy from Denver who can fuck up pass blocking better then any offensive tackle I've seen in awhile so I wouldn't want to risk drafting someone who may play the position well. I have a reputation to protect."

Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma

Millen's Take: "Now here's a kid who's got it all. He's got an injury history like Chuck Rogers, which puts him near the top of my list. Our doctors already have a lot of experience dealing with broken collarbones so we wouldn't have to learn anything new to deal with AP. We also have a loaded depth chart at running back, which means at the press conference I can say, "Well I was looking at the board and I took the best athlete available," which always makes me sound so fucking smart. Problem is I got Marinelli over here telling me he doesn't need this kid. You know what? Fuck need! Maybe I'll fire Marinelli and get some other coach whose last name starts with M. Maybe I can get that crazy bastard Jim Mora Sr. to come out of retirement. That guy always cracks me up."

Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech

Millen's Take: "Now I know all you funny assholes would think that I would jump at this guy because he's a receiver. Well you guys are stupid jackasses who just sit in your mom's basement writing things in your underwear and you just don't know anything about football. Do I like to draft wide receivers? Absolutely. Do I like to draft good wide receivers? Hell no. No way I take Calvin Johnson. Not only is he freaky good but he's also a pretty good guy and when I'm looking for a franchise wide receiver I'm looking for an arrogant douchebag, not some guy who goes and works in impoverished countries in his spare time."

Gaines Adams, DL, Clemson

Millen's Take: "Marinelli is all over me to take this kid. He keeps rambling on about "getting better" and that "defense wins championships." I'm sorry but I blew last year's gimme Matt Leinart pick to take some defensive guy named Edward or Ernie or something. You think I'm doing that shit two years in a row? The NFL Draft isn't about taking players to make your team better, it's about making an impact by taking players that are sexy. You know how many people have talked about last year's first round pick? No one that's who, but think about two years ago when I took that asshole Mike Williams. BIG time press. That's an impact folks."

Millen's Final Analysis: "In the end you idiots are never going to know what exactly I'm going to do. I'm batshit crazy folks. Not only do I know more about football than anyone else I also have the balls to go out on a limb where pussies like Scott Pioli and AJ Smith don't. You should all be thanking me for making your little draft that much more exciting each year. Now if you'll excuse me I have another shitty free agent to sign. Fuck off."

*obvious satire but anyone with half a brain probably already knew this

Going Legit!

2007-03-20T13:50:00.000-04:00

Straight cash homey!

In the pursuit of all things material (HDTV's don't pay for themselves) I've taken a couple of writing positions at Footblog.com and Ballpimp.com, the former being a football blog and the latter being one that focus on hoops. Is this me selling out? Absolutely. As the great Eric Cartman once said,

"Selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and when you have a lot of money you don't have to hang out with a bunch of poor asses, like you guys."

Now replace the part where he says "a lot of money" and you pretty much have what's going on here. I'm obviously still going to write this blog with the same fervor I have before, but I'm also going to lend my considerable talent to those other two fine websites as well. It's more of me folks, and what more could you really want? So visit this site and those as well. Oh and Lions NFL Draft buzz coming up later today. Matt Millen with a high pick? Good times.

Michigan Tells Amaker to Hit the Bricks

2007-03-17T16:54:00.000-04:00

I don't even know what to say. I'm so happy!

Today is one of those days you don't expect to come and then when it finally does you just don't have the right words to express your happiness. Michigan (finally) has ended the Tommy Amaker era that was marked with the word "mediocrity."

Apparently the final nail in the coffin for Amaker was the drubbing Michigan suffered at the hands of Florida State in the NIT. It was a typical Amaker lead Michigan performance where the Wolverines looked horrible on the road against a good opponent. It almost looked like they decided to quit in the second half and were just resigned to their fate. Michigan had a lead in the first half but after the 'Noles came back and took the lead going into halftime, they just decided to stop trying. If that's not an indictment of your head coach, I don't know what is.

What Amaker will be remembered for is taking over a Michigan team that was destroyed by NCAA sanctions (thanks Chris Webber) and turned it into a clean program that was on the cusp of making the NCAA tournament but was never good enough to get over the hump. Amaker's teams were always terrible on the road and also had a habit of playing well at the start of the season and then fading down the stretch (The last two years they've started 16-4 and failed to make the NCAA tournament after a late season swoon)

I also can't name a player who has come to Michigan the past six years who has gotten much better as a player under Amaker's guidance. Most guys come in as a freshman with the normal array of pluses and minues and leave with essentially the same skills they came in with. Nobody seems to get better at all. At times, actually, some look worse then when they were underclassman (Courtney Sims) Just shows that Amaker was not the one to lead Michigan back to being a program that actually matters on the national landscape.

Where do the Wolverines go from here? That's a topic or another day. Today we should just celebrate the fact that the athletic department has finally taken their heads out of the sand and decided that the basketball program should strive for better things, instead of settling for the mediocrity that the Amaker era represented. Goodbye Tommy! Don't let the door hit on you the ass on the way out!

Jay Mariotti is an Arrogant Prick

2007-03-16T11:03:00.000-04:00

Coach K struggles with Jay Mariotti defending him

Like most American sports fans, I got up this morning with a generally happy feeling since our good friends from Duke were eliminated last night by VCU in the NCAA Tournament. Being a Michigan fan I will always sting a bit from losing to Duke in the 1992 NCAA Final, so seeing them go down is always a joy, and a little schandefreude never hurt anyone. I then made the horrible decision of reading Jay Mariotti's column today in the Chicago Sun-Times, and now my happiness has turned to anger.

You probably know Jay as the idiot spouting off random garbage on Around the Horn. He's generally regarded as a douche by pretty much everyone in sports and even has a great blog, Jay the Joke, dedicated to showing on a daily basis how much of a ignorant prick this guy is. Normally he sticks to talking about Chicago sports so in general just draws little disgust from yours truly, but today he decided to delve into a national story, with predictable results.

In today's column, Jay scolds us all for hating Duke. Apparently since Jay is such an enlightened individual who couldn't possibly hate ANY team (*cough*White Sox*cough*) that he's disgusted with the fact that people hate such a great program. Let's take a look at some of knowledge he attempts to give us.

"It probably isn't healthy to hate a college basketball team, given all the terrorists and real blowhards out there. But somehow, for reasons the creeps might struggle to explain in their dark attics, Duke has become Dreck. In truth, Krzyzewski has been as vital as any college coach over the last 20 years, conducting a clean program with class and high academia while winning enough to draw comparisons to John Wooden."

You have to love the first argument here. Thank you for putting perspective into my life Jay. There's something more important than hating a college basketball team? Really? I think we all grasp the concept that there are things in life more important than sports. This is what I call a "crutch" argument that people make who really don't have much of a base for criticism. Why is that? Because it works for EVERYTHING! Is there really anything that could top terrorists on things to hate for a rational person? Exactly. It's a shallow argument. Moving on Jay decides to show us that he's so high above us fans by calling us "creeps." Cute. If you were really that high and mighty then you wouldn't need to resort to childish name calling. Since you called me a name (since I have a severe dislike for Duke) let me retort Jay by calling you a pompous blowhard. Ah, that felt good. Also Jay decides to bust out a cute nickname for Duke saying that we've turned them into "Dreck." Wow, really insightful writing. I'm impressed. Did it take you a bit to think of that witty moniker? Let's keep going in the column.

"Allow me to play shrink and guess that people loathe Duke for the same reasons they loathe privileged families and silver spoons. They see an elite, private school that has had a consistent pipeline to the best and brightest players. They see a program that doesn't have to cheat because talent comes to it. They see affluence, snobbery and a lacrosse scandal that widened the divide between the university and a racially mixed community in Durham, N.C. They see, in Krzyzewski, a disingenuous hypocrite who is supposed to represent amateur athletics but gets more ad time than the Geico cavemen -- and who recently defended Henderson after a dirty shot that bloodied and broke the nose of Hansbrough, the North Carolina star. "

Wow. Thank you so much Jay for explaining why I hate Duke. You are so smart! It's funny because that's really not the reason I have a severe dislike (the word hate makes Jay's ears burn) for Duke. I don't like Duke because they beat Michigan in the 1992 NCAA Final, and jackasses like you continually cram this program down my throat. I could care less about them being rich kids with trust funds. I don't give a damn. Anyone who went to a big University ran with some of these privileged kids. It's the same everywhere. The reason people hate Duke is because we're fans and fans hate some teams. Simple. People tend to hate teams that are good for a really long time and are jammed down our throats by the media. Jay compares Duke to Notre Dame and the Yankees earlier in the column and that just proves my point. All three of those teams are consistently good (except Notre Dame...ZING~!) and are universally loved the media, therefore making them easy to hate. It's really that simple. Jay, though, tries to take a simple explanation and turn it into a larger social commentary. Not really surprised he tries to make something out of nothing.

"It has been a trying experience for Krzyzewski, but not so hellish that he didn't keep perspective. At one point, he told his players, ''We're playing the game of basketball. As hard as it is, it's not like having cancer or anything. We don't have something bad happening to us.'' You only wish some of the haters had that worldly depth. ''No one is ever going to pay attention to the age of my team -- they're only going to pay attention to the age of me and my program,'' he said. ''That dynamic creates amazing things.''

So Jay sums things up by again telling us that we need some perspective on life. Why pay any attention to sports at all with so much more important stuff going on? The irony is that this is all coming from a man who made the biggest deal possible of Ozzie Guillen calling him a gay slur. Aren't there more important things going on in the world Jay? Do we really need to care about what some guy called you when there are terrorists out there? See how easy it is to make that argument?

In the end Jay Mariotti is just a pompous jackass who thinks he is above all of us fans and makes horrible arguments to "prove" his point. Seriously Jay, just shut the hell up.

This is NOT a Good Start

2007-03-14T13:58:00.000-04:00

What is it this time Adrian?

I know it's March and that's usually the time to think about college basketball, but it's also a time to think about college football as spring practice starts to heat up. Unfortunately, things have not started well for the Wolverines.

As you can read about here, starting receiver Adrian Arrington, starting tight end Carson Butler, and reserve defensive end Eugene Germany are not participating in spring practice. Lloyd Carr explained the absence in the way you'd expect.

"They are not practicing, and they are not injured. I have issues that have to
be dealt with."

Well isn't that just nice. Are these players going to be back in the fall Lloyd?

"That is possible, maybe not probable."

Just great. This is EXACTLY the way to start spring practice for a team looking to win a National Championship. What these players "issues" are were not made public (as is usual with Michigan) but they better get this stuff fixed. Arrington is Michigan's number two option at receiver and Butler looks to be the main tight end this season.

This is actually starting to become a bit of a habit with Arrington. You may remember that Adrian got into a bit of trouble over a domestic disturbance with his girlfriend just before the Ohio State game. Most would think he learned his lesson from going through that situation and would decide to get his act together, apparently that's not the case. It would be a pretty big loss for Michigan to lose Arrington, since he has shown a lot of talent, but if he's going to keep acting like an idiot then I suppose it's for the best. Good news is that the Wolverines recruited some heavy receiver talent this year so hopefully one of the freshman would step up to fill the void.

Not a good start for spring practice though....

Michigan Played Last Night? Really?

2007-03-14T11:22:00.000-04:00

Nice to see Michigan fans are excited for the NIT

Apparently Michigan played last night in the NIT. Don't know if you could feel the excitement, but most Wolverine fans last night didn't come dressed in bags like the happy fellow above, they came dressed as empty seats. In front of the smallest crowd in 23 years, wait, let me say that again. In front of the smallest crowd in 23 YEARS, Michigan put on a heroic effort and beat Utah State to advance to the second round on the NIT. Let me be the first to say...

Um, great?

Apparently I'm not in the minority here when I say I could really care less about this year's NIT run. Are you kidding me with this crowd? The smallest in 23 years? You do realize that Michigan went 10-18 in 2001 and they still drew better then this. It actually makes me happy that the fans are pist off enough about not making the NCAA's that they aren't showing up for the NIT. Perhaps the sight of all those empty seats will make some of the power brokers see that a change is necessary.

Personally I can't say I watched much of this game. I flipped over as Michigan was blowing the lead (they were only up one in the later stages of the game) and figured they were going to blow it and the season would be over. Flipped back to see they actually played well down the stretch to get the victory. Hooray! Now it's on to Florida State Thursday....on ESPNU. If that doesn't tell you how "great" the NIT is I don't know what does. FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!

Lions Continue Quest to Sign Every Rams Receiver

2007-03-13T14:03:00.000-04:00

At least he knows how to get tackled

Apparently the Lions, dead set on acquiring every Rams player possible, have signed receiver Shaun McDonald to a two year deal. This does not mean they aren't still trying to get Rams receiver Kevin Curtis as well, as they are said to still be hot on his trail. If they do manage to sign Curtis that would mean that three of the four starting receivers for the Lions would be former Rams. I guess the question I have is, what happens when Mike Martz leaves?

You have to think it's only a matter of time before Martz gets another head coaching position, especially if the Lions offense plays well. He got a bunch of interviews this offseason and another year could bring more and more. I understand that the Lions are trying to bring in receivers who know Martz's system, but are we going to keep this system in place when he eventually leaves? What happens when a new offensive coordinator comes in and the talent at receiver doesn't match the system he runs? And why the hell are we not looking at Calvin Johnson?

I think that last question is the one that perplexes me the most. During the offseason the Lions have filled needs at defensive end, offensive tackle, and running back. This means, generally speaking, that they probably won't be looking that way when it comes to the number two pick in the draft (though trading down and drafting defensive end Gaines Adams from Clemson seems like a possibility). So what I don't understand is why not take a guy like Johnson there if you still need help at wide receiver? The kid is a FREAK! He's tall, he's fast, and he's even got his head on straight. Hell, he even played with a horrible quarterback in college so he'll fit right in with the Lions.

I understand that Matt Millen is afraid to draft another receiver as the public relations fall out will be pretty big. Message boards will light up with, "ANoTHER REcIEvER? WTF?!? MILLEN IS THE SUXORS~!" and newspaper columnists (Drew Sharp I'm looking your way) will call for his head, but to that I ask, what else is new? Should the public backlash that would follow drafting another receiver really be enough to scare the Lions away from what could be a superstar player? When teams start worrying about fan reaction to moves, that's when things go wrong.

I for one say the Lions forget Kevin Curtis and just draft Calvin Johnson. For the long term future of the Lions it's probably the best move because Martz isn't going to be here forever and Johnson has superstar written all over him.

Just Shut Up

2007-03-13T13:50:00.000-04:00

Someone needs to tell Lester to just shut up

I was looking over at mlive today and found this story on Michigan's trip to the NIT and was struck by the headline.

Abram on NIT: We have to play it

I decide to read a bit further to see what Lester had to say and found this quote....

"You're always happy to keep playing, but nobody wants to play in the NIT,'' senior Lester Abram said. "It's just something you have to do.''

What struck me is how basically Abram sounds like he's just going through the motions since they are going to the NIT and not the NCAA tournament. Well here's a small tip for you Lester, shut up. You guys had ample opportunity to make the NCAA tournament and blew every chance you had. Maybe I'd feel sorry for you if you had a great season and were snubbed by the committee, but you weren't. This team didn't win a big game all season and continually failed to live up to expectations. Maybe if you guys had actually played harder and closed out some games (*cough*OHIO STATE*cough*) you would be planning a trip to the NCAA's instead of bitching about going to the NIT.

It's stuff like this that makes it frustrating as a fan. If you don't like playing in the NIT every year then maybe you should win some big games! Don't bitch about not making the NCAA tournament after blowing chance after chance at making it. No one feels sorry for you.

Life is full of small disappointments, Lester, going to the NIT is just one of them.

Also in the article Tommy Amaker calls making the NIT "an honor." I don't even have the words to adequately describe my feelings at that answer. Just another reason this guy needs to be shown the door.

This Is Getting Old

2007-03-12T14:41:00.000-04:00

What if this was Lloyd Carr?

I can't say I'm surprised. Yesterday, for the ninth straight year, Michigan was left out of the NCAA Tournament. They are headed to the NIT for the third time in four years and host Utah State tomorrow night. Excuse me if I don't think that's good enough anymore. This was a senior rich team that was supposed to be ready to take the next step. This was THE year. The Big Ten was weak, the Wolverines had experience, this was it, but it ended the same way.

For the second year in a row, Michigan got off to a great start and faded when it counted the most. This team has had every chance to succeed and return to the NCAA Tournament, but instead they've let every opportunity slip through their fingers. Take a look at the Ohio State game. They had the number one team in the country down, at home, and they couldn't hold on when they needed that win WAY more than the Buckeyes did. When the chips are down and your backs are against the wall that's when you're supposed to step up and close teams out, Michigan could never do that. This has to fall on the coach.

I got up this morning and asked myself why there's even a discussion of Amaker getting another year. What has he done to deserve this except perpetuate a state of mediocrity. What the athletic department has to ask themselves is a very simple question. What if this was the football team?

Do you honestly think that if this were the football team we'd even be having a discussion about whether or not Lloyd Carr would be coming back? Lloyd takes heat for last season and the team went 11-2, with both losses coming basically on the road (the Rose Bowl is pretty much a home game for USC) against two top ten teams. I suppose the football equivalent of Amaker's run at Michigan would be six straight four or five loss seasons. If you even think Lloyd would last HALF that run you're crazy. He probably would have been fired after the third or fourth season.

Now I realize Amaker had to rebuild a program coming out of NCAA sanctions, but those sanctions ended a couple seasons ago so they shouldn't be used as a crutch anymore. He's brought in the same amount of players as everyone else and has failed time and again to get this team back to the tournament. It's frustrating to see schools like Ohio State get hit with NCAA sanctions (though decidedly not as bad as Michigan) rise up from them to prominence very quickly while Michigan continues to just be on the cusp. I'm just sick of it.

Amaker has had his chance. It's time for Michigan to go in a different direction. We need to treat this team like we would the football team. We should care just as much. If not we're always going to be a second tier basketball school in the Big Ten. Doomed to mediocrity, and from this Michigan fan's perspective that's just not good enough.

Big Ten Tournament Live Blog: Michigan vs. Ohio State 2nd Half

2007-03-09T10:53:00.001-05:00

My hopes are officially up for an upset. I'm assuming I'll get kicked in the balls

1:05 PM - We're about to tip off the second half. Wolverines down five and I'm emotionally invested in an upset now. Odds are by the end of this blog though I'll be pulling out my hair.

1:07 PM - Smith just makes a great hustle play that gives Courtney Simms a dunk. Fantastic stuff!

1:08 PM - Simms just gets blocked twice by Oden right under the basket. Dear freaking God. Somebody needs to check Oden's birth certificate by the way. No way he's 19.

1:10 PM - Oden hits a pretty jump hook over Simms to put Ohio State up eight. Even though he seems like a nice guy, I'm going to hate him for the rest of his career.

1:11 PM - Harris just airballs a three from the corner and Ohio State immediately goes back down the court and gets a short jumper to go up ten. Petway then misses a dunk put back to send us to the ad break. This game is slipping away folks. Could be an eye gouging blow out in a matter of minutes.

1:17 PM - Cook nails a three from the corner after a great pass. Michigan is down 12 now as Steve Lavin talks about the Buckeyes's trademark "runs." Abram comes down and hits a three on the next possession though to stem the tide and keep them in this.

1:20 PM - Smith nails a wide open three (making him 1-10 from the field for the game) and we may have a game here as Michigan has cut the lead to six. Please don't get my hopes up just to screw this up again!

1:21 PM - Courtney Simms gets the ball inside and misses a point blank lay up inside. WHY CAN'T HE MAKE THESE DAMN SHOTS!!! He really drives me insane.

1:23 PM - We head to another ad break with Michigan down five. In a completely unrelated note to the game. The first ad is the Bud Light ones where the gorillas talk about robbing the Bud Light delivery man. Now I've already suspended my disbelief that the gorillas can actually talk (and speak English no less) but I'm also suppose to believe that they'd know what Bud Light is and want to steal it? I wish I could have sat in on the meeting where they came up with that...

Suit #1 - "Let's do a commercial with talking gorillas who plan to rob a Bud Light guy."
Suit #2 - "Wow, that's a GREAT idea...it would be SOOOO FUNNY! We're awesome!"

1:27 PM - So we come back from the commercial and after an OSU tip in we get a WAY too rushed 3 which puts the Buckeyes on the break for an easy lay up, and just like that it's a 9 point game again. Amaker needs a timeout to calmly discuss how they are blowing this game. I'm sorry but Michigan is not a good enough shooting team to be taking three's that early in a possession. Probably comes down to coaching, but that probably doesn't even need to be said at this point.

1:31 PM - Harris misses a three off the front of the rim and is now 1 of 11 from the field. Way to show up in the big games Dion. Michigan gets bailed out on the break as Conley gets called for a charge on what would have been an easy lay up. Smith then comes down and hits another big three. 50-44 Bucks with 9:15 left....

1:35 PM - Abram misses the front end of a one and one that could have cut the lead to two. Moments like this are the reason we're probably going to the NIT. Simms then gets called for his fourth foul while defending Oden. Bear in mind that there's still over 8 minutes left in this game and Michigan's best interior defender is now on the bench with four fouls. I'm getting a bad feeling about this.

1:36 PM - After a couple of close misses by OSU, Michigan comes down the court and Abram hits an open three off a nice pass from Harris. Michigan down three with 7:47 to go.

1:41 PM - Smith with a nice baseline drive, and then he decides just to jump in the air inside of a pack of Buckeyes. Amazingly he loses the ball out of bounds. Just fucking great. OSU hits another short jumper to put the lead back to eight.

1:44 PM - Harris drives down the lane and draws the foul. Down ten with 5:47 to go Harris hits both free throws to keep hope alive.

1:45 PM - OSU comes down and Conley hits a wide open three from the corner. Those are the big shots that good teams make when they need to. OSU back up 11.

1:46 PM - After Petway hits a couple of free throws to cut the lead to nine, the Buckeyes come right back with an alley-oop slam from Hunter. For some reason, even after Conley was double teamed Simms felt the need to come off Hunter and triple team him which lead to the slam. UGH!!!

1:48 PM - Down 13 with 4:13 to go, Simms hits an inside double clutch jumper and gets the free throw to cut the lead to ten. Then they get a steal on the other end an they run on the break to cut it to eight but what happens? Harris loses the ball out of bounds as he goes for the lay up. And that, folks, is why we're going to the NIT! FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!

1:52 PM - Oden hits another jump hook which puts the Bucks up 12 with less then four minutes to play. I'm ready to call this game over. You think we can get a one seed in the NIT? or maybe a two?

1:54 PM - After some nice hustle by Smith to get an offensive board, they get it inside to Petway for the slam which cuts the lead to eight with 2:22 to play. I'm still not getting my hopes back up.

1:57 PM - ESPN shows a cutaway of Amaker who is sitting on the bench and "shouting." Thad Matta, on the otherhand, is standing and yelling like a crazed lunatic. Hmmm, which team has the ten point lead?

1:58 PM - Michigan misses a couple of shots, including another from Harris who is playing like absolute shit today. Simms fouls out after Oden gets the rebound. It's over baby. Oden hits one and OSU is up 11 with 1:21 left.

1:59 PM - Last ditch effort from the Wolverines has Smith driving baseline and just throwing the ball at the rim like he was trying to hit that instead of trying to score. Why do I watch this?

2:02 PM - And that's it. Michigan's NCAA tournament hopes are officially dead as they fall to Ohio State 72-62. It's another trip to the NIT and excuse me if I'm not too thrilled. This was supposed to be the year the Wolverines broke through to make the NCAA's. They had a team filled with seniors in a Big Ten that was down. Instead they never stepped up and won a big game and, as usual, lost some games to horrible teams (MINNESOTA!!!) and played their way out of the tournament. Normally I'd say the bright spot is that Amaker would be fired so maybe things would change, but since that's not going to happen (due to his "stud" recruits and his wife having the University President in her back pocket) I really have nothing to be happy about at all. He is just not a good coach. I have yet to see a Michigan player who has improved his game under Amaker's guidance. Look at Dion Harris. He is the same streaky shooter, and shaky ballhandler that he was when he stepped on campus four years ago. His 1-13 performance from the field today in his last meaningful game at Michigan pretty much shows it all. Just another disappointing basketball season to go with the last eight. Well I guess on the brightside, Tigers baseball season is starting up soon....

Big Ten Tournament Live Blog: Michigan vs. Ohio State 1st Half

2007-03-09T10:51:00.000-05:00

This picture does not inspire much confidence in Michigan's chances

12:36 PM - Okay so I've been watching the game but not by a computer. Michigan is currently playing their normal sloppy basketball but amazingly are only down 2 with 5 minutes to go in the half.

12:37 PM - Why is it that watching Michigan play offense just makes me cringe? Everyone else seems to be able to run offenses with crisp passing and nice picks, but the Wolverines seem completely out of sorts all the time on offense. Throwing the ball across the court like crazy. Turning the ball over all the time. Looks like they don't practice at all....26-22 Buckeyes

12:39 PM - Dion Harris nails a pretty 3 off a nice pick. Michigan's only down 1...I'm amazed right now.

12:40 PM - Lewis nails a three...Michigan back down 4. Pretty much expected that.

12:44 PM - Deshawn Sims hits a nice long jumper from the top of the circle, I totally didn't expect that to go in. 31-27 Bucks

12:46 PM - Harris misses a three (in and out) but the Wolverines fight and get the offensive board. They get it back to Harris and he drives and draws the foul from Oden. Nice to see Michigan hustle to the ball like that. Dion hits both and the lead's down to 3.

12:47 PM - They just showed a split screen of Amaker and Matta coaching showing their different styles. Matta actually coached while Amaker just stood there with his arms folded. Just shows how Amaker is terrible.

12:49 PM - So we head to halftime with Ohio State up 34-29. Erin Andrews just said Michigan is winning the rebounding battle by 14. And we're losing why? See you in the second half. Hopefully for a big upset!

Live Blog Coming....

2007-03-09T10:44:00.000-05:00

COME ON! JUST ONE WIN!

So I've decided (against some of my better judgement) that I will be liveblogging the Michigan/Ohio State Big Ten Tourney tilt this afternoon. Probably won't be around for the very start of the game, but at least the backend of the first half and all of the second half will be chronicled in all its glory. Judging from past Michigan performance I'm guessing this will be an exercise is masochism but if you enjoy that kind of thing please feel free to come back and check it out. GO BLUE!

Michigan's NCAA Tournament Zombie Still Alive

2007-03-08T14:13:00.000-05:00

Remember kids, a zombie isn't dead until you see it's head rolling on the ground

In a pretty ugly game (and for Michigan that's saying something) the Wolverines shot a blistering 28% from the field to take down Minnesota 49-40 to keep their slim NCAA tournament hopes alive. It was probably the worst shooting game overall I've seen in a long time but against a 9-22 team like Minnesota it was enough to take them down. Thank God Michigan knows how to shoot free throws well. That was the team's saving grace.

So Michigan's zombie, while riddled with bullets, is still slowly moving forward towards tomorrow's matchup with Ohio State, who is standing with the shotgun loaded to finish them off. Michigan has shown that they match up well with the Buckeyes, but after last Saturday's last minute collapse I'm not optimistic on the chances for the upset. Especially given the fact that they blew that game at home and this is on a neutral floor. IF (and that's a big if) they were able to pull off the upset against Ohio State then their NCAA chances would improve greatly and they would also have a favorable matchup in the Big Ten semi's against either Iowa or Indiana. Tomorrow is the make or break game for this season. Either step up and finally get a big win, or it's time to head back to Crisler to host some games in the NIT.

Well That Was Just Freaking Great

2007-03-05T16:55:00.000-05:00

A happier moment from Saturday's kick to the groin

Well that's what I get for having hope. Michigan had a chance Saturday to make a statement and possibly make it to the NCAA Tournament for the first time since I graduated from high school (which is becoming an increasingly long time ago), and what did they do? They choked it away.

The Wolverines had the number one ranked Buckeyes on the ropes and they let them off the hook. The momentum was on their side with a six point lead heading into the final TV time out (approx. 3:54 left in the game) and then apparently they forgot how to play down the stretch and blew it. Courtney Simms misses a freaking dunk that would have tied it up, and Dion Harris (86% from the line) misses the front end of a one-and-one that could have tied it as well. Michigan didn't score again after that last TV timeout. Sad.

I'm starting to forget how it feels to follow a college basketball team that doesn't constantly kick me in the groin and force me to bash my head against the wall repeatedly. I was to the point where I was almost expecting the collapse. Unfortunately when Michigan took that late lead and the momentum was all in their favor I let down some of the pessimism and really thought they were going to win. I suppose that teaches me for believing in this team.

Now the only way Michigan is getting a whiff of the Big Dance is to beat Minnesota, Ohio State and maybe even ANOTHER opponent in the Big Ten tournament. Maybe Michigan can put together a run and make us all believers, and I'm sure if they beat Minnesota I'll get roped into thinking they could take it to Ohio State and maybe this time come out on top, but in the end until they show they can put a great team away I'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Rising From the Grave

2007-02-28T14:37:00.000-05:00

Michigan's NCAA Tourney hopes attempt to rise from the grave

Just when I think I'm out they suck me back in. In my last post I put Michigan's NCAA Tournament hopes in the grave. Then the go and blow out Minnesota on the road and beat a hot Michigan State team, and somehow a slight ray of hope has come into the bleak world that is Wolverine hoops.

Granted this optimism could be crushed with a loss Saturday to Ohio State and an early exit from the Big Ten tournament, but last night's win over Michigan State achieved two things. First it kept Sparty from getting that season sweep, which always brings a smile to my face, and it gave hope to a fanbase that had pretty much lost it. Whether we're going to be rewarded with an improbable NCAA tourney bid or a swift kick to the groin remains to be seen.

Can Michigan pull off the miracle Saturday against Ohio State? Sure they could. They are playing at home where they've only lost twice all season. Ohio State hasn't exactly been lighting the world on fire either, and following that emotion of last weekend's game with Wisconsin, they could be looking past Michigan and towards the Big Ten tournament. If everything falls into place (which is very iffy with an Amaker coached Michigan team) the Maize and Blue could finally get a signature win that could help propel them back into the NCAA tourney for the first time since 1998.

Personally I feel like this team is rearing back the leg to give me a nice swift kick to groin on Saturday, but then again I've watched this team for the past few years and they usually don't put on their best effort until they are in the NIT. Hopefully I'm pleasantly surprised and celebrating a HUGE victory Saturday night. We shall see....

R.I.P. Michigan's NCAA Tournament Hopes

2007-02-22T11:43:00.000-05:00

Courtney Sims trying to stop a return trip to the NIT...but fails

Well at least that's something off my mind. After FINALLY beating Indiana and bringing a pulse to the corpse that is the Michigan NCAA Tournament hopes, the Wolverines did what they do best on Wednesday and that's play shitty on the road. Last night's 54-42 loss to the Illini sent Michigan's tournament hopes up to heaven to party with Barbaro. Are you excited for the NIT Wolverine fans? No?

I think the worst part of all this is that Tommy Amaker will probably end up keeping his job. How is this possible? This team isn't mentally tough at all and has never shown any mental toughness in Amaker's years at the helm. To be honest the only time this team plays consistently well is in the NIT where they've won a title and made it to the championship game under Amaker. The reason for that is probably because Michigan can play at home in the first few rounds before having to go to New York for the Final Four. The Wolverines have been a good home team under Amaker but they have been HORRIBLE on the road. You know when the last road win for Michigan was this year? January 6th against Northwestern. Does this sound like a senior lead team that was supposed to be ready to turn the corner?

Generally speaking I'm not a big reactionary fan who calls for coach's heads after every loss (I still stand behind Lloyd Carr even though he makes me want to bash my head up against a table at least twice a year) but this is getting a bit ridiculous. If this were the football team they'd be burning Amaker in effigy and riding him out on a rail. Instead it looks like Tommy will stick around for another year so that his "stud" recruiting class can come in and hopefully turn things around. Personally I'm skeptical Amaker is the man to lead Michigan back to national prominence, but hopefully he proves me wrong.

For now, though, barring an improbable run through the Big Ten tournament, it looks like Michigan fans can look forward to another run in that "other" tournament in March. Has spring football practice started yet?

Trying to Wash the Sleaze Off After Signing Day

2007-02-08T11:19:00.000-05:00

The wolves are at Ol' Gil's door! I need a five-star recruit!

What is it about signing day that makes me feel sleazy? The whole recruiting process is easily the ugly side of college football. Coaches falling all over each other to try and get a recruit by any means necessary. Talking down rival schools, sending text messages over and over, and of course I'm sure there's some school out there sliding some money a recruit's way. Then you have the whole "verbal commitment" crap where a recruit says he's going somewhere and then de-commits and goes somewhere else at the last minute. The whole thing just makes me feel dirty.

The worst part is as college football has gotten bigger, recruiting has followed right behind. These kids are now holding big press conferences to announce their decisions, and already have an entourage and the ego to go with it before even setting foot on campus. It probably doesn't help that you have websites following these kids all season saying they are the "OMG BeST ReCrUiT EVAR~!" It all becomes crystal clear at how ridiculous recruiting has become when Jimmy Claussen (Uber-QB recruit who is going to Notre Dame) announced his decision at the College Football Hall of Fame after arriving in a limo. By the way, does anyone else remember the last Notre Dame QB that was hyped this much before coming on campus? Those who guessed Ron Powlus would be correct. He turned out to be great too, or not. The point I'm trying to make is that these are high school kids who are about to make a rather large step up in terms of competition and these expectations are a bit out of control.

I would go down the list of Michigan's recruits but I think Brian over at Mgoblog is doing a great job of breaking that down. This looks like a decent class for Michigan after a slow start, but we'll see how that translates on the field.

Oh, and Ryan Mallett is going to OWN Jimmy Claussen, just sayin.

That Went Pretty Much Like I Thought it Would

2007-02-07T11:10:00.000-05:00

They really TRIED to stop Greg Oden

I think the best way I can sum up last night's Michigan game is by comparing it to a trip to the dentist. It's something you dread and it's usually a bit painful, but in the end it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Michigan didn't get blown off the floor, UCLA style, against the Buckeyes, but they did manage to lose by double digits.

The Wolverines played well early and went into halftime only down by four points. Unfortunately this got my hopes up that perhaps they were going to do the unthinkable and pull an upset here, and then, like clockwork, they came out in the second half and kicked my optimism square in the groin. Michigan had the ball, down four, with 8:52 left in the game. This was the big moment to keep themselves in the game and possibly put the Buckeyes on their heels. What followed?

Lester Abram misses from three (I swear loudly)
DeShawn Sims gets the offensive rebound (I'm happy)
Sims misses the put back, but Michigan gets the rebound again (Still optimistic)
Dion Harris misses a jumper (Time to start drinking....)

After this sequence Michigan was outscored 20-11 and never had another chance. It's moments like these that separate NIT teams from NCAA teams. Michigan had three shots to cut the lead to one or two, on the road against a top five opponent, and blew the opportunity. Ohio State then took the opportunity and ran with it and secured a double digit win on their home floor. The Wolverines played well, but didn't capitalize on the chances they had (which seems to be a common theme during the Amaker Era) and left empty handed once again.

I don't know if I can blame this on coaching, but it seems like none of these players have gotten much better since coming to Ann Arbor. Courtney Sims still disappears when facing elite competition. Dion Harris and Lester Abrams are still streak shooters who have difficulty handling the ball, and the team still has difficulty competing down the stretch when you need to match the opposition shot for shot.

In the end this game was ultimately disappointing. Michigan put themselves in a position to pull an upset on the road, but faded down the stretch...again. Makes you wonder if Amaker is the coach to take Michigan to the next level.

Michigan Fans....Avert Your Gaze!

2007-02-06T10:59:00.000-05:00

This "19 year old" is on a path of destruction...next up...Michigan...

For the past nine years Michigan basketball season has been a trying time for yours truly. Following the NCAA sanctions, Michigan's once good basketball program was left in ruin and has yet to really come out of it. Every time the Wolverines seem to be turning a corner they slide back. They haven't made the NCAA tournament since 1998 and this year doesn't look to be the one where they break through, and tonight will probably seal the deal.

Tonight the Wolverines head down to Columbus for a meeting with the Buckeyes and "19 year old" phenom Greg Oden. First off there is no way that kid is 19. Did you look at that picture? He has wrinkles! The man looks like he could be LeBron James' uncle. I really need timestamped pictures and a notarized birth certificate here. Beyond the fact that he's obviously older, he's going to eat Michigan alive tonight. Courtney Simms never plays well against a dominate center and Oden is just that. Add this to the fact that the Wolverines can't play on the road (2-5 this season with the wins coming at Northwestern and Miami (OH), neither is a "powerhouse") but they also tend to get blown out when facing good competition as their 38 point loss to UCLA demonstrated. Actually Michigan just tends to lose big period. Of their seven losses this season, five have come by double digits. The sad part is Michigan is starting a team full of Seniors that supposedly had learned from its past of wilting down the stretch. This is a group that has gone to two NIT Finals and was supposed to be ready to take the next step with trip to the NCAA tournament. Apparently that's not the case.

Having lost their last three games and without a "signature" win, the Wolverines are probably playing for their NCAA bid tonight against the Buckeyes. Pulling off a road victory against the #4 team in the country would go a long way to catapulting Michigan towards that coveted NCAA invite, but forgive me if I don't have much confidence in that happening. What I'm expecting is another lopsided road loss that has become a trademark of the Tommy Amaker Era, followed closely by the columnists in Detroit NOT calling for his head. I understand that Amaker is a good guy and he cleaned up the program, but he's had a lot of time and the results just haven't been there. Another nationally televised (ESPN, 7 PM) road blow out should be the final nail in Amaker's coffin, unless Michigan pulls the upset.

Will Michigan pull it off? Probably not. I see Oden going off and Simms disappearing like he normally does. In the end though I'll be sitting and watching and hoping. Hoping that something will click in the Wolverines and they'll finally do something remarkable to get me excited again.

If they don't though at least tomorrow's signing day. That's something right?

Time to Start the NFL Draft Talk! Lions are Undefeated in 2007!

2007-02-05T08:51:00.000-05:00

The next quarterback of the Detroit Lions...great

Let's save all the discussion about what went down last night. It was a terrible game with terrible commercials and unfortunately I can't get that time in my life back. Not only did I dislike both teams in this game but then they had to go and play a horrible game. Probably the worst Super Bowl since the Giants/Ravens debacle. Also some guy named Brett Favre announced that he's coming back for another year. Somewhere John Madden and Tony Kornheiser are sharing a beer and debating how best to give a verbal hand job to Brett next season. Great....

The good news though is that with that pesky Super Bowl out of the way we can officially start the offseason and start talking NFL Draft! What's that you say? The Pro Bowl is next weekend? While some may enjoy watching the best players in the NFL (and Tony Romo) play basically a glorified flag football game, it's really just not for me. The season is over and the offseason starts now damnit. So without further ado here's my first (of many) NFL mock draft, and since it's before the combine I'm only going top 5, after that I'll start to venture to a top 10.

Before I start this let me say that I'm 4 time defending champ of my annual NFL draft pool and have picked the top 15 picks with 98% accuracy over that span. Beyond that I'm about as good as anyone else, which is to say that I'm hit and miss, but over the first 15 I've been lights out. So there you go....

1. Oakland Raiders: JaMarcus Russell, QB LSU

It almost seems like Russell has been built just to please Al Davis. He's a big quarterback with a cannon for an arm that will fit rather well in the "vertical" offense Davis loves. Plus the Raiders currently employ Aaron Brooks and Andrew Walter at the QB position so this is probably an area where they could use some improvement. If you don't want shitty QB play that is. Russell should thrive in Oakland where he could possibly ride Randy Moss to All-Pro status like Daunte Culpepper did in Minnesota.

2. Detroit Lions: Brady Qinn, QB Notre Dame

I'm not excited about this pick at all. First of all did you see the picture I used for this post?!?! Does that inspire you to think he's going to be a great pro quarterback? Didn't think so. Having watched Quinn closely since he plays for Notre Dame and they are always on TV, I'm not sold on him being a great pro QB at all. While he does a great job tearing up the service academies and the Stanfords of the world, he hasn't played well against elite competition at all. He may have beat Michigan two years in a row but it was more due to Michigan miscues than his savvy QB play. Best example I can give of this is when he threw the touchdown pass to Samardzija that was deflected off a Michigan defender's hand. Horrible throw, lucky break. Then this year during his "Heisman" campaign he was exposed by Michigan and USC. Hate to say it but I think the defenses in the NFL are better than Michigan and USC. Quinn tends to get happy feet in the face of a decent pass rush and last I checked the Lions O-line was rather terrible. Brady may need a few more band-aids if he becomes a Lion. Kiper has the Lions taking Thomas here in his first mock draft. I really can't see Matt Millen using this high of a pick on an O-lineman. Plus that seems to be a position of depth in this draft so I'm sure Millen will look to make a splash with this pick and then go O-line in the second round. Quinn fills the "splash" quotient here while making it exceedingly possible that Millen blows another high pick. Looks like a match to me! The Lions making this pick pretty much ruins the draft for me right after it begins....

3*. Cleveland Browns: Alan Branch, DT Michigan

*Number 3 pick is a tie between Cleveland and Tampa TBD by coin flip at end of this month

The coin flip won't affect either pick unless someone trades down or something. Browns need some defense and help up the middle and Branch should help fill that need. After a lackluster Sophomore year, (though the argument could be made that EVERYONE at Michigan had a lackluster year during the...ugh...7-5 2005 campaign...let's not speak of that again shall we?) Branch helped a revitalized Michigan defense rise back to prominence before that slide at the end of the season (another thing I don't want to discuss) and showed the ability to pass rush the QB and stop the run, something Cleveland needs. Michigan defensive players have a pretty good track record in the NFL (two played last night...Cato June and Marlin Jackson) so this should be a pretty good pick up for Cleveland.

3*. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Calvin Johnson, WR Georgia Tech

I really wish Matt Millen had the stones to take Johnson. He is easily the most talented player in this draft and Tampa is going to get a steal at number four. Bear in mind that Johnson was great in college and he had REGGIE BALL throwing to him! Can you imagine how great he would have been if he had a decent QB throwing to him? Tampa's "deep threat" is an ever aging Joey Galloway, and Michael Clayton hasn't delivered on the great rookie campaign of two years ago (just ask my fantasy team...) so getting Johnson here will be a great pick up for the Bucs and will be a nice addition to a team that really wasn't as bad as their record last year.

5. Arizona Cardinals: Joe Thomas, OT Wisconsin

I don't know how I feel about Joe Thomas. On the one hand he dominated his competition this year, but on the other hand Wisconsin didn't play anybody except Michigan, and he was alright in that game. I must admit, Big Ten tackles scare the hell out of me in the NFL. I've been burned by them a couple of times as a Lions fan. Aaron Gibson was supposed to be a big lineman with quick feet out of Wisconsin, but instead turned out to be just a slow fat guy who was a bust from the moment he squeezed into his XXXXXXXL jersey. Jeff Backus was also supposed to be a stud out of Michigan but has been decent at best. The only reason the Lions gave him that big extension is because there aren't that many great tackles out in free agency so you have to hold on to what you have. Pains me to say that about a Michigan player but Backus hasn't panned out like most thought he would. That brings us back to Thomas who is getting the kind of hype Robert Gallery got two years ago out of Iowa, and you can ask the Raiders how well that is panning out. Thomas seems to have the total package of size, agility, and quickness to be able to handle the speed of an NFL outside pass rush, but as always drafting an O-lineman this high is tough. Arizona desperately needs the help though so this is a no brainer pick here. Their O-line is terrible and if their offense is ever going to realize it's potential, that's a problem they need to fix.

There you have it. My first look at the top 5 of the 2007 NFL Draft. We are only a couple of months away from the festivities so let the draft talk begin! WOOOO!!!!

Can We Just Play this Damn Game Already?!?

2007-02-03T00:06:00.000-05:00

This pretty much depicts me over the past two weeks....

The wait is almost over folks. The event we've all been waiting for is almost here. Can't you taste it yet? It's right there. We're a little more then 24 hours away from being able to talk about the NFL Draft! What's that you say? There's a game too? Really? They should probably publicize that a bit more or no one's going to know about it.

It's been a rough two weeks. I've managed to make it thus far without watching a second of pre-game analysis therefore allowing me to keep my sanity instead of listening to people like Sean Salisbury wax poetic for two weeks on the same crap. Here's what's amazing about the whole situation. I haven't watched a second of analysis on this game and yet I still feel relatively informed as to how these teams are going to play AND the major storylines going into the game. How was I able to ascertain this knowledge without two weeks of incessant babbling about it? Um, I'm guessing it's from watching 20 weeks of freaking football already! Seriously what have we learned in the past two weeks that we didn't already know? Here are the major storylines going into the Super Bowl, and remember I didn't watch ANY pre-game coverage....

Peyton Manning shits the bed in big games: He did it at Tennessee, he's done it with the Colts and now he has a chance to get that monkey off his back so he won't end up being the next Dan Marino. Though someday I'd love to see Peyton arguing with a guy like Trent Dilfer on a pre-game show and every time he mentions something about Super Bowls, Trent flashes his ring in his face. That would be AWESOME!
Apparently Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are black: Don't know if you've been made aware of this, but it's kind of a big deal.
Tank Johnson is a idiot with lots of weapons: I think Jay Mariotti has probably written about 3,000 columns on this so I think we've got it covered.
Rex Grossman is a shitty quarterback: Yep, it's really that simple. Dude threw about four good passes in the NFC Title game and yet the Bears won. He could become the worst QB ever to win a Super Bowl.

There you go. Four major storylines leading into this Sunday's game. I'm sure these have been beaten into your head over and over and over, but just thought I'd remind you. Are those exciting stories? I totally think this warrants SIX HOURS of pregame. I do think they may need an extra bag of oats to get Shannon Sharpe through the broadcast, and just as a precaution someone should probably check him for Laminitis...don't want another Barbaro on our hands.

To be honest this is probably the least excited I've been for a Super Bowl. On one hand you have the Colts and Peyton Manning (who I intensely dislike) and then you have the Bears and their horrible fans. So either Peyton finally gets his big win which will start an onslaught of announcer love the likes we have never seen, or some of the worst fans in the NFL will get an opportunity to celebrate a championship and then talk about this team for the next 20 freaking years like the last time they won the Super Bowl. Can we just not play this game and start next season right now? Please?

So I suppose you're wondering who I'm taking in this game (or not, either way). Well it's a pretty simple thing to figure out. Peyton can't beat Florida. They pantsed him all of his years in college and he's never really gotten over it. Where did Rex Grossman go to school? Florida. There you go folks. It's pretty simple when you get down to it right? In the biggest ironic twist EVER~! (and that's what we'll be hearing ad nauseum after this game) Rex Grossman will outplay Peyton Manning and win the Super Bowl. Take it to the bank. But if, for some reason, the Colts actually win this game, may God have mercy on us all, because the amount of announcer blustering may reach apocalyptic levels if Peyton wins the big one. Be sure to go out and buy plenty of can food and bottled water. You've been warned.....

Bears 31 Colts 24

Now about that draft....

Still Picking Up the Pieces

2007-01-31T11:47:00.000-05:00

This is pretty much how I imagined it (Graphic by Jim Cooke)

I'm still a bit distraught over the passing of the shining light that was Barbaro. He was like a shooting star, one minute he was there and then eight LONG months later he was gone. Just so sad. He touched all of our lives like only a crippled horse who won one major race could, and by that I mean he really didn't touch it at all.

Since I'm going to observe a couple of days of silence to honor Barbaro (meaning I don't have much to write, at least until Friday when I will actually discuss the Super Bowl for the first time) I would like to direct you to this from the Mighty MJD, it's what Barbaro would have wanted....

Letter from Barbaro

I hope you enjoy it, and perhaps you should use some glue or something to honor Barbaro's passing in your own little way. Without his light shining on all of us the world just doesn't seem as great anymore...

Barbaro Euthanized and Millions of Emotionally Troubled Shut-ins Put on Suicide Watch

2007-01-29T15:31:00.000-05:00

Barbaro during his "heroic" effort at the Kentucky Derby...

In case you haven't heard the "GREATEST HORSE EVER~!" Barbaro was euthanized today after his long fight against Laminitis. It is actually a sad story whenever something like this happens (which it often does in horse racing, Pine Island was euthanized just off the track at this year's Breeders' Cup) but what turns this story from sad to somewhat amusing in a "let's take a look at that car accident" kind of way is the messages on Barbaro's Message Board.

For those of you who don't read Deadspin (and if you don't read that site I have no idea how the hell you found mine) the center where Barbaro was being treated put up a message board for his well wishers to come together and be creepy together. Over the months we've been treated to a comedy treasure chest of old crazy shut-ins who have been taking time from tending to their 30 cats and writing god-awful messages to a horse who can't read.

File photo of Barbaro message board poster

So to honor Barbaro I'm going to take a look at his message board and try and pick up the pieces of many broken hearts. Remember these people are not only writing to a horse...but a DEAD horse. That fact makes what you're about to read that much more humorous....

GOD knows when he needs a special horse to do what needs to be done. God Bless his care takers to make the right decsions to do what is right in this time of need.
Klineberry@naxs.net, 46; Woodlawn, VA, USAposted on 2007-01-29 16:39:41

God apparently has been jonesing for a match race between Barbaro and Secretariat....and after that Barbaro can plow the back 40.

[tears] We loved you, Beautiful Barbaro, and may you rest in peace now. You put up a good fight, the very best. I wish peace and healing upon everyone who has been touched by this magnificent animal.
Cheryl Heinrichs, 55; Hays, KS, USAposted on 2007-01-29 16:19:11

This one isn't especially crazy but I did enjoy the stage direction [tears] to start things off. She forgot to put this at the end though [stops typing and goes to feed 40 cats and die alone]

Been writing since the beginning this one weighs heavy on my heart been crying all day sorry to all what a fighter he was..still think the Dr.from Kentucky caused this.... Barbaro had a heart of a champion... Love Cindy & Anthony Capurso
Cindy & Anthony Capurso, 60; Astoria NY Queens, NY, posted on 2007-01-29 16:19:11

Let's just get beyond the "crying all day" part and move straight to the meat of this post. "The Dr from Kentucky caused this." Is there some sort of medical malpractice Barbaro conspiracy theory I didn't know about? I hate to break this to you Cindy and Anthony but I'm pretty sure the cause of all this was Barbaro snapping his leg in three places. Horses are usually put down on the track for an injury like this....just sayin....

There are no words to express the emptiness. We must all console each other the best we can. Our hearts go out to the Jacksons, and even more, to Dr. Richardson and his devoted team. Love of animals is hardest when we are helpless to help them.
Marcia; New London, PA, posted on 2007-01-29 16:14:50

I know how Marcia feels. I felt the same emptiness when Bambi's mother died, and I knew Bambi's mom about as much as Marcia knows Barbaro.

MY MOST DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO BARBARO, WHO WILL ALWAYS BE THE TRIPLE CROWN WINNER TO ME. I STILL WISH HE WOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN AN CHANCE TO MAKE IT ON HIS OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sandy Yarborough, 55; Roswell, NM, posted on 2007-01-29 15:32:13

Either Sandy is yelling or her caps lock is broken. Hate to break (pun intended) this to you Sandy but in order to win the Triple Crown you usually need to win three races. I must say that the amount of exclamation points at the end of this post frightens me a little. Maybe because she's from Roswell the aliens did some experiments on her that renders Sandy incapable of using less excessive amounts of random punctuation.

Barbaro: You will live in my heart forever. Your beauty and courage set an example for all of us. You are a true champion, the likes of which we will never see again. Heaven holds a special place for angels like you.
Abby Petrone, 47; Chicago, IL, United Statesposted on 2007-01-29 15:27:02

Apparently Barbaro standing in a stall and eating is the measure of courage to which all things are now applied. Hyperbole is a friend of the insane folks.

Goodbye, brave and beautiful boy! Go back to the wind, and nevermore have to tolerate the weakness and ignorance of mortal man! You're finally running in endless fields, at last....and in no more need of our prayers. Run on, Barbaro!
Adela Henninger, 47; Rathdrum, ID, USAposted on 2007-01-29 15:26:47

Um...what? I'm assuming the "ignorance of mortal man" is referring to the pooled intelligence of all the people who write message board posts to a dead horse. RUN ON, BARBARO! YOU ARE FREE OF THE LUNATICS NOW!

Thank you for sharing Barbaro. He is a hero. God needs him now. Hearts are broken for the family, the doctors and the team. Thanks to all who took care of the greatest horse that ever lived. Baby Barbaro, run and jump as high as u want to!
Suzanne, 49; Gastonia, NC, USAposted on 2007-01-29 15:25:45

So let me get this straight. All you have to do to be regarded as a hero by Suzanne is to run 1 1/4 miles, win by 6 lengths, and then break your leg. Let me give you a small tip Suzanne, it's probably better to use the word "hero" when referring to people like soldiers, police officers, and fire fighters, not horses. There's really nothing "heroic" about what Barbaro did. Also the "greatest horse that ever lived?!?!" Are you kidding me?!?! Somewhere in Heaven, Secretariat is getting ready to own Barbaro's sorry ass.

My heart is just breaking & my tears will not stop. Dear Beautiful Boy, May your journey across the Rainbow Bridge be painfree and now may you run with all of the other Champions that are waiting for you. God bless, Fancy
Fancy Allen, 39; Richmond, VA, USAposted on 2007-01-29 15:07:52

I also believe that when I die I will be crossing a rainbow bridge on my way to Heaven....and at the end of it will be the Care Bears.

I can't describe the awesome whirlwind of emotions I've felt over the last eight months--you've given all of us so much strength. I plan to name my first child Barbaro, in hopes that he has half the heart that you did. --Michael Sambuceti, 24; New York, NY, USA posted on 2007-01-29 14:25:18

There are many things disturbing about this last post. First of all this is a guy and he's only 24. What the hell is wrong with you? Aren't you supposed to be out getting drunk or something? Instead he's posting on a dead horse's message board about the "whirlwind of emotions" he's felt. Normally I would be worried for the child that he is going to apparently name Barbaro (karma would dictate that this kid would win the mile in track only to snap his leg in three places at the state track meet....) but judging by the fact that Michael posted on this message board I'm going to assume that he's not getting laid anytime in the near future. Phew....that takes a load off my mind.

Now, before I get all these nasty comments let me assure you that I realize that this is a sad event. It's sad that Barbaro had to be put down, but come on. Sorry to say it but PEOPLE are dying every day in this world and they don't get 1/1000 of this kind of attention. Since Barbaro has passed maybe now you crazy's can turn your attention to the soldiers dying in Iraq or perhaps the situation in Darfur. You know...stuff that involves ACTUAL heroes.

Rest in Peace Barbaro. These crazy people won't be bothering you anymore.

Avoiding the Noise Day Four: The Magic of NFL Films

2007-01-25T23:29:00.000-05:00

This man is really doing God's work

Do you realize that the last bit of actual NFL programming I watched was the moment after Peyton Manning kneeled down to seal the game against the Pats? I've managed to avoid it all. Of course this means I haven't been able to see SportsCenter, but thanks to the interweb I've been able to keep up with the goings on with all of my teams (let's not discuss Michigan's performance in Madison last night shall we?) In my effort to find ways to fill this gap in my sports viewing I've tried many options, but today I may have found the best one. What better way to fill the football void than with...football.

Now as I've said before the Senior Bowl has been doing a great job of filling some of the football watching void. Listening to some draft analysis is good for my soul, but there is still a little bit of me that misses the NFL a little bit. Not enough to make me want to flip on NFL Live, mostly because I may run into Merrill Hoge, but enough to feel a small void. Today I found the answer to that void....NFL FILMS BABY!

ESPN is currently running NFL Films Super Bowl highlight films during the day and these are easily the best thing on TV right now. Every highlight film is set up by Steve Sabol, who runs NFL films, and he always does a decent job giving a brief description of the storylines of that particular season before setting up the title of the highlight film. They are always something corny like "Gold Rush" for one of the 49ers wins but I think that adds to the charm a bit. When I was a kid ESPN would run these all Super Bowl Sunday before the game and I would just watch that all day instead of the six (can you actually believe they spend this much time on ONE FREAKING GAME!) hours of pre-game coverage.

Nothing can really duplicate the NFL Films music and John Facenda's voice over the highlights. Just great stuff. Today I caught a bit of the 49ers beat down of the Chargers. Watching that really reminded me how brutal of a beating that really was. Steve Young threw six (!) TD passes in that game. I guess the best analogy I could come up with is that the 49ers were Kobe and the Chargers were...nevermind...

That being said this was a welcome diversion in my day and I would totally recommend watching as many of these as you can. What better way to get ready for the Super Bowl than by watching all the greatness of the past ones? Okay...maybe skip the Ravens/Giants one...but even that game would be better than watching Salisbury and Hoge obsess over whether Peyton was able to thumb wrestle with Eli this week...this bye week is just freaking brutal...ugh. A little over a week to go!

Avoiding the Noise Day Three: The Other End of the Spectrum

2007-01-24T22:32:00.000-05:00

Wait....they started hockey season?

In my efforts to make it the full two weeks to the Super Bowl without watching a minute of the pre-game coverage I've gone a couple of avenues. Yesterday I found watching Senior Bowl practice to be a pretty good way to avoid the coverage while combining my love of the NFL Draft and College Football...but Senior Bowl practice can only get me so far. I need more things to fill the void. So imagine my amazement when I find out on this series of tubes we call the internets that the NHL All Star game is tonight! First of all since when do they put this game on a Wednesday night? I read it's because Betteman and his infinite wisdom decided that this was the best way to "showcase" the game and get it more exposure....

Well I don't have a degree in marketing but your first problem with this whole "exposure" issue is the fact that you are broadcast on some network called "Versus." This network was previously famous (read: not) for its coverage of the Tour De France. Um, how do you expect to get exposure playing on a network that's only other sports coverage was limited to freaking cycling? Seriously? Who thought this was a good idea? I'm not really that amazed that this league shut down for a year with idiots like this running the show. I realize that ESPN was lowballing you NHL and the crazy wackjobs from Comcast came to your door with a few more dollar bills. So you go with the company that may not be as good, but hey...they're paying us more! SCORE! Here's the problem with that. While the short term gain is something, the long term loss will probably be more. The NHL has a bunch of young stars and the game is more wide open thanks to new rules. This is the time the NHL should be using to grow a bigger national following in the hopes of landing a bigger TV deal when the current one expires. Instead....they are floundering on a shitty network and wasting the early years of some future megastars. No one is watching the NHL...and a lot of it has to do with the people in charge making a grab for the easy money instead of making the more sound investment with a real network and taking a hit in the interim but hopefully building up to a strong future.

The second mistake is this dumb as hell All Star scheduling. Does anyone in the NHL watch TV? Why in God's name do you put your All Star game up against American Idol? It's on EVERY DAMN JANUARY! Did this just sneak up on your dumb asses? And don't tell me it's a different audience. These are the people the NHL wants to make into their new fans. Young people with lots of spending power. Go look at American Idol's demos. They BLOW AWAY the competition in the male 18-34 demo. Gee...I'm sure the NHL may want some of those viewers....but instead Betteman decides to put his All Star game up against that instead of putting it on a weekend with no football and up against such juggernauts as The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives. I'm not a betting man, but I'm guessing the ratings would be a bit better on Sunday.

Is it a requirement to work for the NHL offices to have your head stuck directly up your ass? Seriously...what the fuck. It just amazes me that people who are paid rather well and probably went to pretty good schools can fuck up something this badly. This is basic shit here. Let me spell this out for you so you can understand....DON'T PROGRAM ONE OF YOUR SHOWCASE EVENTS AGAINST AMERICAN IDOL AND ON A PIECE OF SHIT NETWORK THAT BARELY ANYONE KNOWS EVEN EXISTS! If I were the NHL I would be saving every penny of that TV money Comcast gave them...at this rate they may be paying the TV stations to air them next time....

Avoiding the Noise Day Two: Godsend

2007-01-23T20:24:00.000-05:00

Guns don't kill people...Lamar Woodley does...

Today I'm sitting at work and I start to wonder how I'm actually going to make it through these two weeks without watching any sports analysis. How can I do this? I've watched SportsCenter for pretty much every day of my life since I turned 8. Some kids watched Power Rangers and cartoons in the morning but I was up watching SportsCenter (and the Sports Reporters on Sundays...can you believe that shit? I wish I could go back in time and tell a young me how stupid most of those guys sound and not to waste my time) and perhaps a bit of Saved by the Bell....what can I say? I was a sucker for Kelly....but I digress.

So I thought long and hard about what I was going to do to occupy my time and then it hit me. IT'S SENIOR BOWL WEEK!!! That's right folks. It's the start of my second favorite time of year (behind College Football season)....NFL DRAFT TIME! The NFL Network (I know...talk about getting way to close to the enemy) is showing Senior Bowl practice all week and analyzing prospects for the draft. HELL YES! Plus they have the game itself on Saturday! Now I can sit back and start my NFL offseason a whole week early.

I'm pretty big into the NFL draft. It combines College Football and the NFL...two things I love. Plus it's the only time of year a Lions fan can actually feel optimistic...though if we draft that bed wetting Brady Quinn I may jump off my apartment building. Just sayin.

I know what you're thinking here though, "Aren't you going to run into some Super Bowl hype by watching the NFL Network." I know I'm walking on eggshells here. One false move and I'll be hearing Steve Mariucci or Deion Sanders discussing Tony Dungy's new found big game greatness or what Peyton Manning heroically ate for breakfast on the day of the AFC Championship.

So here's my plan. I'm using the awesome power that is my DVR to record the Senior Bowl coverage and therefore I don't actually have to turn on the NFL Network itself, thus aiding in avoiding a potential pratfall. Plus, I can then pause and fast forward anytime a commercial is on (Peyton is in 2 of every 4) and also just in case they decide to talk a little Super Bowl instead of focusing on the Senior Bowl in the broadcast. IT'S A PERFECT SYSTEM!

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go watch my man Lamar Woodley greatly improve his draft status during one on one drills against the future draft bust Joe Thomas. Enjoy your evening!

Avoiding the Noise Day One: Withdrawals

2007-01-22T23:41:00.000-05:00

Tyrone knows all about withdrawals

Well I made it. Day one of avoiding any and all live sports programming and I'm still here. Granted I'm huddled in a fetal position on my floor and typing this with one hand but I totally made it. No SportsCenter, no Cold Pizza (not a huge loss), no ESPNEWS...absolutely no sports analysis on TV. I even avoided live games just in case they decide to start talking about the Super Bowl. Trust me...it happens. Dick Vitale talked about Steve Mariucci getting fired during a college basketball game....it can totally happen.

As it stands I have 12 days left to avoid any and all sports analysis. I experienced a little withdrawal this evening when my hand automatically wanted to turn SportsCenter on when I got home from work...but I fought the urge and flipped on reruns of Seinfeld. It was hard mind you but I rested a bit easier knowing that all I was missing was Sean Salisbury waxing poetic (in a way only he can) on how fantastic Peyton, and Tony Dungy are. Just the thought gives me chills.

With one day down I'm pretty optimistic that I can make it through this, but I'm going to have to get a bit more creative with things to do. Heroes isn't on every night and Lost doesn't come back until next week. I suppose tomorrow I could be a good American and get watch the State of the Union, but by the end of that I'm sure I'll want to throw a remote through the TV.

No matter what I end up doing I remain committed to avoiding any and all Super Bowl analysis. I SHALL PREVAIL! Now isn't it time for SportsCenter...DAMNIT!

Bears Fans....Classy

2007-01-22T10:42:00.000-05:00

Yep...you read that right

So remember when I said Bears fans were douchebags? There's your proof. That's an actual sign from Soldier's Field yesterday. Nice to see the citizens of Chicago are as classy as ever. Maybe at the Super Bowl they can make signs making fun of Cooper Manning's spinal disease. The best part is I'm sure the fan who made this thought it was funny. Maybe we should have him take it to the ninth ward and hold it up for awhile and see how funny he thinks it is then. Just amazing...

Just to clarify not ALL Bears fans are douchebags. Just the majority....

The End is Near...

2007-01-22T01:32:00.000-05:00

Where I'll be spending the next two weeks

That's it. I'm moving to Montana and living in a shack for the next two weeks. Not only do the Colts win but the BEARS TOO?!?! So instead of just being treated to analysis of how best to suck off Peyton Manning, I ALSO get to see the Super Bowl shuffle on a constant loop too!! GREAT! If you thought the coverage of Jerome Bettis was horrible last year (I think he may be from Detroit...don't know if you knew that....) just wait. We're all going to be treated to countless stories on how Peyton finally won a big game....and if that's not enough we'll probably be treated to about 1,000 different Archie Manning interviews too! CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT?!?!

Today I think CBS cut away to the freaking Manning box about 3 or 4 thousand times to see just how the Manning family was reacting to pretty much everything on the field. "And there's an incomplete pass by Manning. Let's see how Archie and Eli are taking it." On a related note, was anybody else struck by how unenthusiastic Eli was after the Colts scored the winning touchdown? He had the same look as when he threw that dumb interception against the Titans. Now THAT was worth my time. Anyway, can you imagine the amount of Manning Family shots CBS is going to use for the Super Bowl?!? Ugh....they will probably even send Lesley Visser up there for an interview and lord knows we don't need to see that.

Plus the announcing fun has already gotten underway. Jim Nantz gave us a little preview of the Super Bowl when he decided to speak in complete hyperbole for the entire last 10 minutes of the game. The last drive was the "most important in Peyton Manning's life" and with 1st and 10 on the Pats 11 those were the "most important eleven yards in Peyton Manning's career" and so on and so forth. It's enough to make me actually want to cheer for the Bears before I remember what that they are from Chicago and the majority of their fans (NOT ALL...save the e-mail) are idiots who actually obsessed this week over which team Ditka was going with.

Well I for one can't take the amount of crap I'm about to hear/see over the next two weeks so it's time to rent out a Unabomber shack and start work on that Flux Capacitor so maybe I can make these two weeks go just that much faster.....

The Pats Need to Win for the Good of Mankind

2007-01-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

Let's hope we see a lot of the sad Peyton today...if not may God have mercy on us all

So I've returned from my week long absence on a day where the world as we know it could come to an end. This evening the Indianapolis Colts take on the New England Patriots for the AFC Championship and, for a least one week, I'm joining in with all of New England in the hopes that Peyton Manning goes down in flames yet again.

If you've read any of this blog you are fully aware that I'm a fan (read: prisoner) of the Detroit Lions so you're probably wondering why it is that I have such disgust for Peyton. I'm glad you asked. Well first off as a Michigan fan I still hold a grudge for him taking a shit in the Orange Bowl against Nebraska, thus allowing the Huskers to steal half of the National Championship...but it goes way further then that.

Can you imagine a world where Peyton Manning has actually won a big game? Football commentators have long wanted to gush uncontrollably about Peyton being the greatest QB ever to walk the Earth, but up until now have been stopped by the fact that he tanks it when it means the most. His big game chokes are like a dam and if he were to win this game then the dam would be broken and the flood would come....and you don't want the flood. Can you imagine the two week build up to Peyton finally playing in the Super Bowl? Sean Salisbury is already salivating at the chance go bow at the alter of Peyton.

Now I know what you're saying, "Won't it be the same with Tom Brady/Bill Belichick if the Pats win?" Granted this is not the ideal situation. I wish the Chargers were in this game, but since the only team that stands in Peyton's way is the Patriots then I guess it's going to have to be them. The difference between the Pats and the Colts it that they've been there so many times that there really isn't much more commentators can really say about their greatness....so it won't be quite as insufferable. It will suck a bit...but not as much as it would be if Peyton finally made it.

That and I'm sure if Peyton made it to the Super Bowl he'd get EVEN MORE endorsement deals (if that's even possible). I mean right now he's a goofy looking great QB who chokes whenever the word "Bowl," "Championship," or "Florida" is involved and he's still on one out of every 4 commercials in an NFL Broadcast...just imagine what it would be like if he was a winner too....NOOOO!!!

Plus as an added bonus we'd also be treated to stories on the greatness of Tony Dungy. Never mind the fact that he's supposed to be this defensive guru yet his Colts teams have perpetually sucked at defense (these last two games were smoke and mirrors against a dumbass head coach and a Baltimore offense that still sucks ass) or the fact that in big games he doesn't seem to be able to keep his hands off his neck. Has this guy ever been criticized by NFL analysts? If he has I've never heard it. How does he continually get a free pass? This shit doesn't make sense to me.

So I will be rooting for the Pats because I dislike Peyton and the Colts. Thus far I'm 1-0 in 2007 in rooting for teams just to spite the team they are playing (Florida) so I'm hoping I go 2-0 tonight with the Pats. Please win New England.....I don't know if I want to live in a world with Peyton as a winner....

GO PATS!

Oh...and GO SAINTS too...I really don't want to cheer for New England in the Super Bowl too...

Welcome Home Asshole

2007-01-12T10:40:00.000-05:00

At least this time he's getting paid legally

Well it looks like, if you are to believe the report on Yahoo Sports, Chris Webber is finally coming home to come off the bench for the Detroit Pistons. Forgive me if I'm not really excited at the prospect of having to cheer for that douchebag again.

As I'm sure you're aware, throughout his time at Michigan Webber took money from a booster named Ed Martin. It didn't come out while he was in school, but eventually after a car accident involving a few players in the late 90's everything came out. Webber continually lied about taking money from Martin to the point where he was going to stand trial for lying to a Grand Jury...that is until Martin had a heart attack and died. The charges were then dropped since Martin was really the only eye-witness and Webber went on his merry way.

The NCAA wasn't so forgiving to Michigan though. All the records from Webber's time at Michigan have been erased. Final Four banners have been taken down, and the team was left in a hole so deep that they are still climbing out today. Chris Webber helped ruin Michigan basketball. Now I'm sure there are some who are saying, "But didn't he make Michigan basketball in the first place?" and to that I call you an idiot. Michigan basketball was a good program before Chris Webber showed up. They won the NCAA Title in 1989 behind Glenn Rice and a couple of Rumeal Robinson free throws. Then Webber showed up and took money and the whole thing came crashing down.

So now a broken down and somewhat gimpy Chris Webber is coming home to try and help the Pistons win a championship. Great...just fucking great. I'm sure that now you'll read a bunch of local stories about the Detroit kid coming home to redeem himself (in fact...Mitch Albom has already written one. Way to be on the ball Mitch! Can't wait to hear your Webber monologue on the Sports Reporters Sunday! I'm sure it will be somewhat folksy and not funny!) and perhaps there will be some who will call on the fans to give Webber a break. I will not be one of those fans.

I love college basketball. I may not love it as much as college football but I love the sport. Chris Webber has robbed me of watching a quality team at my school for the past 9 freaking years. He destroyed Michigan's program and the worst part is he never owned up to it. And now he's coming to the Pistons and probably expecting all to be forgiven for his glorious homecoming. Well this is one fan who's never going to forgive. I may give him a small clap if he helps bring Detroit an NBA title...but that's about it.

Chris Webber is a lying asshole who couldn't wait the two years to get out of college to make his money and in turn destroyed a program. Let me be the first to say this though...

Welcome home Chris....and fuck you.

Go West Fat Fans!

2007-01-11T21:08:00.000-05:00

Soon to be a picture of every fan in the right field pavilion at Dodger Stadium

I don't know if you've read this but apparently the Dodgers announced today that they are turning their right field pavilion seats into an all you can eat extravaganza for fans. At this point I can hear enormous men, like our pictured friend, gasping for breath wanting to hear the details of this grand plan (or they just moved slightly and are rather winded...either way)

Well for $35 (ironically $15 more then a 30 day trial membership at Bally's....but then again the people interested in this don't go to gyms...so that's falling on deaf ears) you can belly up to the trough and get as many soft drinks, hot dogs, peanuts, nachos, and popcorn as you can cram down your throat (LA Dodger Food Funnels sold at stadium) Wonderful. As if sports fans weren't already fat enough, typically I'm seated next to an enormous sweaty guy at every sporting event, now they can go to a game and get even fatter.

Dodgers' Executive Vice President Marty Greenspun had this to say about the whole thing...

"Instead of paying cash, fans ask for whatever they want, and they get it. There are going to be some self-service parts, buffet-style, as well"

So am I to believe that these self service parts will include cheese dispensers so the industrious fan can just shove his face full of chips and then just funnel the cheese directly into his mouth? Or maybe there can just be a conveyor belt of hot dogs and fans can just eat and eat and eat. I know I for one can't go to a baseball game and just eat 15 hot dogs. I need 30. And don't give me this "well it's for convenience" crap. The old tickets were $10 a piece. I bet a good amount of money you could snag 2 hot dogs and a soda for less then the $25 needed to justify the price. This is just a case of people who can't control their eating habits in the first place being allowed to engorge themselves further AND watch a mediocre baseball team as well.

The only saving grace for this plan is that the food vendors for this open 90 minutes before the game and close 2 hours after the start. This is probably good since LA fans are known for being late (if they come at all) so odds are most "fans" will only have an hour to undue any amount of exercise they've done in the past 10 years.

I say next year they just add troughs to the backs of seats and have ushers come by and keep filling them. That way not only do fans have to deal with the "trouble" of having to actually use cash, they also won't have to actually get up and walk to the concession stand. It's a win win!

Oh and before you get any ideas Crazy Alcoholic Fan....beer isn't included....you'll just have to sneak in your cheap booze in a flask like you always do so you can get just the right "buzz" to yell obscenities, try and start the wave, and challenge each person in the section to a fight.....at least until next year....

Apology to Jim Walden

2007-01-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

What Jim Walden sees in his dreams every night

Since the national title beatdown that Florida put on Ohio State, I've seen a couple of comments saying that I owe an apology to Harris voter and noted idiot Jim Walden for my comments that I made here about him putting Florida number one in his final Harris Poll ballot (he was the only person in any poll to put Florida number one)

The problem is I'm not going to apologize. Walden is still an idiot and is also a liar. Just going by his own quotes he contradicts himself in his last poll (whether he was right or not). After Texas lost to Ohio State he said,

"You're never going to get me to vote for one team ahead of a team that's only lost to the best team in the country."

So basically Walden is a liar. I mean he had Ohio State number one in his poll every week (the unanimous vote totals from the week before should be a small clue) and yet voted Florida ahead of both Michigan (whose only loss at that point was to Walden's own "Best Team in the Country") and Ohio State (who he had number one up until that point).

His reasoning for putting Florida number one was their tough schedule. Well if that was the case then why wasn't Florida always number one in Walden's poll? In fact I'm willing to bet that before the SEC championship Florida was number FOUR in Walden's poll behind USC, and Michigan as they were in the majority of ballots. So if Walden was so convinced that Florida's schedule made them number one they why did he rank teams ahead of them before the last week of the season? It's not like they blew Arkansas off the field, and he didn't even cite that game as his evidence. He said this after when asked about his ballot,

“I’ll give you nine reasons why Florida is No. 1 - Georgia, LSU, Tennessee, Auburn, Kentucky, South Carolina, Alabama, Southern Mississippi [and Arkansas]. Then you add Florida State to that, and 11 out of 13 weeks you had to play as good as you could play."

He also called the Big Ten "a joke." Again if he really believed the shit he was spewing then why wasn't Florida always number one in his poll? You know why? Because he's an idiot who manipulated his poll to make sure Michigan didn't make the BCS Championship game. Simple. He wanted Florida in the title game so he bumped them up to one to help make that possible and then gave a few quotes to put a reasoning behind it. Was he right? Sure, but that doesn't change the fact that he spouted off his mouth about why he did it and how he votes and THROUGH HIS OWN VOTES showed that he's an idiot who doesn't know what the hell he is doing. If you really believed all this shit Walden and were just "voting with your gut" then maybe you would have more credibility if you hadn't voted a completely different way ALL SEASON! I would totally give the man his just due if he actually had voted that way all season, but he didn't, so therefore he's nothing more then an idiot who manipulates a system he shouldn't be apart of. But congrats on "getting it right" one week when you were wrong for the rest of the season. *Clap* *Clap*

So no apology from me to Jim Walden. The guy is still an idiot who has no business voting in a poll that determines who plays in the National Championship game.

What the Hell was That?

2007-01-09T13:37:00.000-05:00

This sorry fellow needs some grief counseling

Last night Florida deicided to show everyone exactly what an all out ass beating looks like by just destroying Ohio State to win the BCS National Championship. I'm pretty much at a loss for words on this one. I'm not stunned that Florida won the game (underdogs have won 6 of the last 7 BCS titles) but it was how they won the game.

Ted Ginn returns the opening kick for a touchdown and I, like most of America outside of the South, thought that was the start of a Ohio State coronation. Instead the Gators tied the Buckeyes to a tree and beat them mercilessly with a shovel. Ohio State gained 84 yards....FOR THE WHOLE FREAKING GAME! That was less then Ted Ginn's kickoff return! What the hell happened?

Maybe the Vest has lost his mojo, or perhaps the Troy Smith was depressed that this was his last game in college before taking a pay cut to join the NFL (ZING~!) but was the first time I've seen a Vest coached Ohio State team shit the bed in a big game. It was just unbelievable.

I know as a Michigan fan I should be giddy at this colossal beatdown of the Buckeyes, and a large part of me is, but I'm a bit dissappointed that the Big Ten's best were shown the door rather easily in their bowl games. Kind of puts a damper on the whole season. Oh well....at least I don't have to listen to idiots from Columbus talk about their "dynasty in the making."

Now it's time to look to next season and here's hoping it ends with me drunk and celebrating in New Orleans after Michigan gets their shit together and finishes a season right. GO BLUE!

BCS Title Game Tonight....Yay?

2007-01-08T12:48:00.000-05:00

This whole thing just makes me feel really dirty

So tonight is the night I've been ~~waiting for~~ dreading for the past few weeks. It's the BCS Title Game between Ohio State and Florida. Hooray Michigan Fans! For some reason I just haven't been able to get up for this game. I'm guessing it's because neither outcome is really going to make me all that happy. In fact I was actually having a difficult time figuring out who I even wanted to win this debacle. I guess a tie is out of the question with overtime and all so I will have to throw my rooting interest over to Florida.

This was a lot harder before Michigan decided to not show up for the Rose Bowl. Florida wins this game and the BCS "got it right" and idiots like Gary Danielson will be able to say "I told you so." But in the end does anybody really want to have to deal with Buckeye fans after another national championship? Really? I honestly can't deal with the constant shit talking I would have to deal with for the next 10-15 years if they win another national title. Even if Michigan were to come back next year and win a title you still wouldn't be able to shut up the Buckeyes (at least the majority of them...there are a few sane Buckeye fans out there....I can probably count them on one hand)

So in a game where I have to pick a poison I will have to choose the Gators....even if that comes with Gary Danielson....

On second thought...can we just start next season right now? Please?

Ugh...Go Gators....

BREAKING NEWS: Tigers Sign Timo Perez. Parade Route for 2007 World Series Parade Being Planned

2007-01-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

Newest Tiger Timo Perez seen here posing for his High School ID picture by Lifetouch Portrait Studios

As the baseball offseason has wore on I've been sitting by and waiting for the Tigers to do something that would improve the team and signal a 2007 World Series Championship. First they went and got Gary Sheffield, and I yawned a bit. I mean he's a great hitter and all but what the Tigers were missing last year, besides a copy of Tom Emanski's Defensive Drills DVD, was that "it" factor that makes a team a champion. Does Sheff really bring that? Well he does bring the crazy which is always fun for a 162 game season, and I'm sure he'll be out to prove to people he can still swing the bat after an injury riddled season....but he doesn't bring the "it" to me.

Then the Tigers went out and re-signed Sean Casy, extended Jeremy Bonderman and Brandon Inge (a side note to Brandon...you don't have to swing at EVERY pitch...just a suggestion), and signed Jose Mesa for bullpen help. They even went out and got what could be a nice little gem in the Rule 5 draft, but none of this really got me excited. Where is the "it" guy that was going to take us over the top?

Then today the Tigers went and did it. They signed TIMO PEREZ! I know what you're thinking...how did we sign Timo Perez?! He's AWESOME! Well to that I say that now Detroit is a desirable destination for in demand free agents like Timo. He had offers from Japan and some Mexican league team, but he totally shot them down to come to Detroit. This move pretty much means that you can start buying your World Series tickets right now. I don't even know why we are going through the charade of playing out the season. Look at the last two teams Timo was on....

2005 Chicago White Sox.....Won the World Series

2006 St. Louis Cardinals.....Won the World Series

Now some of you will say that Timo didn't take a swing during last year's postseason and had little to do with the Cardinals winning the World Series. I say you aren't looking deep enough. Just having Timo in the organization caused the Tigers pitchers to go crazy and throw the ball into the seats about 892 times during the World Series. He just brings that kind of presence to the game, even when he's not in the dugout. The man just wins championships people, and now he's a Detroit Tiger! Nevermind that he probably won't play much and is really only a left handed bat they will use in certain situations. Timo is a freaking winner! So put the champagne on ice Detroit....Timo's bringing a championship!

Matt Millen Stays with Lions, and Earth Also Confirmed to be Round

2007-01-04T11:20:00.000-05:00

Moments like these remind me why I love the Lions....or not

I know this happened a few days ago, but since I was in a Rose Bowl induced coma I failed to register my comments. In the biggest surprise (read: not) of the offseason the Lions announced that Matt Millen is coming back next year. Anybody who really knows the Lions knew this was going to happen before the season even started. William Clay Ford Sr is a senile old man who likes his TV black and white and doesn't adapt to change well. When he hires somebody he hires them for the long haul. Remember, this is the guy who kept Wayne Fontes all those years...

The winningest coach in Lions history....no joke

Millen has shown that he's probably the worst front office leader this side of Isiah Thomas, but that doesn't matter to Ford. Millen is loyal and fiery and that's what Willie likes. What I love is that Millen refuses to quit saying that he's not a quitter. Well no one likes a quitter, but I believe in this case Detroit fans would make an exception.

So now we're left with at least another season of Millen running the show (and unless Ford dies and Jr. takes over I'm guessing 2008 is in the bag for Millen as well) and I'm just going to try and enjoy the ride. With the Lions holding the second pick in the draft, there's no telling what crazy shit Millen can come up with. I will say that it will get a little tiring watching Sean Salisbury make the "Lions looking at receiver" joke about 9,757 times between now and draft day (that guy runs a line into the freaking ground....don't even get me started) but all in all it should at least be an interesting offseason.

It'll probably go something like this, the Lions will draft a sexy offensive player (they always do) that looks good on paper. They sign a couple of "character" guys as free agents from good teams but may be a little old or were never really exposed because they were playing on a good team (Damien Woody type) and the fans will slowly get excited about the season. During training camp you'll hear that the Lions "attitude" has changed and that they might be ready to win. The "experts" will make their predictions about how the Lions could be 8-8 or 9-7 and in a shitty NFC that could be good enough for the playoffs.....and everyone will have a small sense of optimism....and then....the season starts and they go 5-11 and fans are planning shitty protests that don't go anywhere and we're back at this point with Millen saying he's back for 2008 saying that they are going to get things right. There you go...the 2007 Lions season even before it starts....ugh....

Well at least the Tigers should be good....

Picking Up the Pieces

2007-01-03T12:42:00.000-05:00

Super Mario just lost the princess to that douche Dwayne Jarrett

A day has now passed since Michigan got steamrolled by USC in the Rose Bowl and I'm still at a loss for answers. What the hell happened to the offensive line? It seemed like Chad Henne had about 2.5 seconds before a USC defender was in his face as apparently the line, which had been great all season, forgot how to block. There are few things worse then seeing Henne deal with pressure. As I said in my preview if you get defenders on him he tends to kind of tuck the ball in and turtle, and that's pretty much what happened on every other pass play in the Rose Bowl. Defenders surround Henne, Henne struggles to move up in pocket, Henne is sacked. Just horrible to watch.

The offensive line also forgot how to zone block for the running game as Mike Hart was held in check all day. Hart gained 10 yards on Michigan's first play from scrimmage and then pretty much disappeared for the rest of the game. I don't blame this on Hart as it seemed whenever he got the ball he had two or three defenders on him immediately. Doesn't really matter how shifty you are if you have three guys bearing down on your ass. Maybe the long layoff threw Michigan's line off their rhythm, but if that's the case then USC did a damn good job of adjusting to a similar layoff, which means something is wrong with the coaching on that one.

Michigan's defense was also scorched in the second half by John David Booty and Dwayne Jarrett. As usual the front four was able to stop USC's rushing attack, but the difference in this game was that they weren't able to get any sort of pass rush on Booty. Branch played well in spots (including that forced fumble) but didn't step up enough. Woodley was nowhere to be seen unless you count him getting blocked as Booty threw another TD pass. I don't know if Leon Hall was really burned as much as Willis Barringer hung him out to dry on a couple of throws where he should have been the safety help over the top. Morgan Trent was picked on all day and showed that he still has a bit of maturing to go. I think the only defender who really had a great game was David Harris who delivered that bone jarring hit on Jarrett that forced him to drop that touchdown pass that kept the game close for longer then it should have. Where was the defense that shut down every (except for a great Ohio State team) this year? It's like they knew how to play for 11 games and then decided to shut it down for two games. The worst part of it all is that this is the side of the ball where Michigan loses a lot of their best players next season so they may have to try and outscore teams next year....hmmm...

Coaching was your typical Michigan game plan. Run the ball (even if it obviously isn't working) until you are down by 2 scores and then start throwing the ball when the defense actually expects it and can just blitz. This game was tied at 3 at half....then USC made adjustments on offense and blew it open. Where were Michigan's adjustments? I was just watching the game at home and noticed that USC was bringing the house every third down....why not adjust and change things up a bit? Michigan finally went to the shotgun late but that was when USC had already put their foot on the throat so it didn't really matter.

I'm not a reactionary Michigan fan who thinks we should fire Lloyd Carr after every defeat and alike, but I do think that the time has come for Lloyd to perhaps deviate from the Michigan way of playing offense. Bo is dead now, and the Michigan "Run, Run, Run" offensive philosophy should probably go with him. Michigan continually recruits strong armed QB's and very talented wide receivers and yet they still rely way to much on the run and keeping games low scoring. Unfortunately that's not the way college football is anymore. I'd rather win games 45-39 then lose. Simple as that. I'm not saying they need to go to a wacky spread offense like our friends in East Lansing (great results there too) but maybe more shotgun and four receiver sets. Get some quick hits on slants and alike and let the athletes Michigan recruits show off their skills with the ball. Yes you still need to be able to run to win and Michigan will still run the ball, but you have to change things up a bit to win in the new era of college football. Next season may be the best chance Michigan gets at a National Title for a few years and they need to take advantage.

Please Lloyd...change things up a bit....I'm really getting sick of seeing scenes like this every January...

I'm really starting to hate USC....that hand signal is dumb as hell by the way...

Trying to Forget This Happened....

2007-01-02T10:54:00.000-05:00

Dwayne Jarrett is good....but he's still a douchebag

I'm still recovering from this year's Michigan Bowl Meltdown (tm) and I can't really put much into words. Will probably post tomorrow after picking up the pieces. Can't say I'm really shocked because I've seen this show before (the last 4 years). I'm struggling to look for answers as to why the Wolverines can't put things together in bowls. Maybe it's the long layoff, maybe they've just run into great teams (USC twice, Texas....um...Nebraska...), I just don't know. The defense looked terrible (especially in the 2nd half) and the offense was horrible too. Ugh...another post on this will come in time but right now I think I'm going to be sick....

Lions Can't Even Lose Right....

2006-12-31T18:05:00.000-05:00

As usual the Lions play their best when it hurts them the most...

Well, well, well....in what has now become a yearly tradition, the Lions pulled off a meaningless victory that hurts their draft status on the road in a game they probably should have lost. Last year it was against the Saints (which was also their last road victory until today), and this year it was against the Cowboys. Luckily this year it will only cost the Lions one pick as they are now picking second overall instead of first. Last year it dropped them from number two all the way down to number nine. I'm sure Lions fans are real happy that that meaningless win against the Saints cost the team Reggie Bush or Vince Young....ugh...makes me sick...

As usual the Lions played lights out today (for them) and pulled off a "remarkable" victory. Why can't this team play like this all year? The Lions always play their best when they can fuck up their draft pick. Someone needs to let them know that if they play like this all season they can really screw up their draft pick by making the playoffs or something. Jon Kitna played lights out as well as Roy Williams and Mike Furrey. Mike Williams (!) caught the go ahead touchdown pass and then the Lions defense stopped Tony Romo on the one on fourth and goal to seal the win. Romo then went and cried in the arms of Carrie Underwood so I'm sure he'll be okay. The Cowboys now lose any chance at the division title and will play in Seattle next week. Hope it downpours all over T.O.....you guys should be ashamed that you lost at home to the freaking Lions. ASHAMED!!! Well I guess this means that the Raiders will take Brady Quinn off of our hands....hopefully he won't turn out to be a Hall of Famer and we'll look back on this win as horribly as we look back on last year's over the Saints....Enjoy the New Year!