NFL Draft Live Blog....On a Different Site

Howdy folks! I am doing a liveblog of the 2007 NFL Draft, but it's over at Footblog.com so feel free to come over and check it out. Enjoy!

Matt Millen's NFL Draft Tomfoolery (tm)

I'm a fucking genius. BOW AND KNEEL BEFORE MILLEN!

Well the NFL Draft is fast approaching, which is what we Lions fans like to call "Our Super Bowl," so what better time to check in and see what our fearless leader Matt Millen* has to think about some of the top prospects whose careers could be wasted in the Honolulu Blue and Silver.

Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame

Millen's Take: "Well this kid is a little pretty, you know? I like that. You know Joey Harrington was like a son to me, and he was a kind pretty too. I know I'm a badass former NFL linebacker but I have a soft spot in my heart for the cute guys. He really is shitty in big games which is fine for us because we don't play any big games anyway. Can't really deal with a pass rush, but he'll get better at it from all the practice he'd have here in Detroit. I think getting smashed to bits builds character which is why I've decided not to upgrade the offensive line since I've been here. Makes the game more interesting. Also Brady doesn't help our team immediately which is great because they I can tell Mr. Ford to give me more time since he needs that to develop. Should get me another contract extension. SCORE!"

Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin

Millen's Take: "This is a big fucking kid. He may have even had a chance to block me if he had any testicles. He went to Wisconsin where he probably just sat around in the snow eating cheese and having sex with overweight women in Brett Favre jerseys. I fucking hate the Packers. Why can't we beat them? If I were still young and playing at Penn State I would have beat the shit out of this kid. He may have quick feet but I'm MATT MILLEN. You don't block Matt Millen if you are from some pussy school like Wisconsin. I also don't even need this kid. I traded for some guy from Denver who can fuck up pass blocking better then any offensive tackle I've seen in awhile so I wouldn't want to risk drafting someone who may play the position well. I have a reputation to protect."

Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma

Millen's Take: "Now here's a kid who's got it all. He's got an injury history like Chuck Rogers, which puts him near the top of my list. Our doctors already have a lot of experience dealing with broken collarbones so we wouldn't have to learn anything new to deal with AP. We also have a loaded depth chart at running back, which means at the press conference I can say, "Well I was looking at the board and I took the best athlete available," which always makes me sound so fucking smart. Problem is I got Marinelli over here telling me he doesn't need this kid. You know what? Fuck need! Maybe I'll fire Marinelli and get some other coach whose last name starts with M. Maybe I can get that crazy bastard Jim Mora Sr. to come out of retirement. That guy always cracks me up."

Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech

Millen's Take: "Now I know all you funny assholes would think that I would jump at this guy because he's a receiver. Well you guys are stupid jackasses who just sit in your mom's basement writing things in your underwear and you just don't know anything about football. Do I like to draft wide receivers? Absolutely. Do I like to draft good wide receivers? Hell no. No way I take Calvin Johnson. Not only is he freaky good but he's also a pretty good guy and when I'm looking for a franchise wide receiver I'm looking for an arrogant douchebag, not some guy who goes and works in impoverished countries in his spare time."

Gaines Adams, DL, Clemson

Millen's Take: "Marinelli is all over me to take this kid. He keeps rambling on about "getting better" and that "defense wins championships." I'm sorry but I blew last year's gimme Matt Leinart pick to take some defensive guy named Edward or Ernie or something. You think I'm doing that shit two years in a row? The NFL Draft isn't about taking players to make your team better, it's about making an impact by taking players that are sexy. You know how many people have talked about last year's first round pick? No one that's who, but think about two years ago when I took that asshole Mike Williams. BIG time press. That's an impact folks."

Millen's Final Analysis: "In the end you idiots are never going to know what exactly I'm going to do. I'm batshit crazy folks. Not only do I know more about football than anyone else I also have the balls to go out on a limb where pussies like Scott Pioli and AJ Smith don't. You should all be thanking me for making your little draft that much more exciting each year. Now if you'll excuse me I have another shitty free agent to sign. Fuck off."

*obvious satire but anyone with half a brain probably already knew this

Lions Continue Quest to Sign Every Rams Receiver

At least he knows how to get tackled

Apparently the Lions, dead set on acquiring every Rams player possible, have signed receiver Shaun McDonald to a two year deal. This does not mean they aren't still trying to get Rams receiver Kevin Curtis as well, as they are said to still be hot on his trail. If they do manage to sign Curtis that would mean that three of the four starting receivers for the Lions would be former Rams. I guess the question I have is, what happens when Mike Martz leaves?

You have to think it's only a matter of time before Martz gets another head coaching position, especially if the Lions offense plays well. He got a bunch of interviews this offseason and another year could bring more and more. I understand that the Lions are trying to bring in receivers who know Martz's system, but are we going to keep this system in place when he eventually leaves? What happens when a new offensive coordinator comes in and the talent at receiver doesn't match the system he runs? And why the hell are we not looking at Calvin Johnson?

I think that last question is the one that perplexes me the most. During the offseason the Lions have filled needs at defensive end, offensive tackle, and running back. This means, generally speaking, that they probably won't be looking that way when it comes to the number two pick in the draft (though trading down and drafting defensive end Gaines Adams from Clemson seems like a possibility). So what I don't understand is why not take a guy like Johnson there if you still need help at wide receiver? The kid is a FREAK! He's tall, he's fast, and he's even got his head on straight. Hell, he even played with a horrible quarterback in college so he'll fit right in with the Lions.

I understand that Matt Millen is afraid to draft another receiver as the public relations fall out will be pretty big. Message boards will light up with, "ANoTHER REcIEvER? WTF?!? MILLEN IS THE SUXORS~!" and newspaper columnists (Drew Sharp I'm looking your way) will call for his head, but to that I ask, what else is new? Should the public backlash that would follow drafting another receiver really be enough to scare the Lions away from what could be a superstar player? When teams start worrying about fan reaction to moves, that's when things go wrong.

I for one say the Lions forget Kevin Curtis and just draft Calvin Johnson. For the long term future of the Lions it's probably the best move because Martz isn't going to be here forever and Johnson has superstar written all over him.

Time to Start the NFL Draft Talk! Lions are Undefeated in 2007!

The next quarterback of the Detroit Lions...great

Let's save all the discussion about what went down last night. It was a terrible game with terrible commercials and unfortunately I can't get that time in my life back. Not only did I dislike both teams in this game but then they had to go and play a horrible game. Probably the worst Super Bowl since the Giants/Ravens debacle. Also some guy named Brett Favre announced that he's coming back for another year. Somewhere John Madden and Tony Kornheiser are sharing a beer and debating how best to give a verbal hand job to Brett next season. Great....

The good news though is that with that pesky Super Bowl out of the way we can officially start the offseason and start talking NFL Draft! What's that you say? The Pro Bowl is next weekend? While some may enjoy watching the best players in the NFL (and Tony Romo) play basically a glorified flag football game, it's really just not for me. The season is over and the offseason starts now damnit. So without further ado here's my first (of many) NFL mock draft, and since it's before the combine I'm only going top 5, after that I'll start to venture to a top 10.

Before I start this let me say that I'm 4 time defending champ of my annual NFL draft pool and have picked the top 15 picks with 98% accuracy over that span. Beyond that I'm about as good as anyone else, which is to say that I'm hit and miss, but over the first 15 I've been lights out. So there you go....

1. Oakland Raiders: JaMarcus Russell, QB LSU

It almost seems like Russell has been built just to please Al Davis. He's a big quarterback with a cannon for an arm that will fit rather well in the "vertical" offense Davis loves. Plus the Raiders currently employ Aaron Brooks and Andrew Walter at the QB position so this is probably an area where they could use some improvement. If you don't want shitty QB play that is. Russell should thrive in Oakland where he could possibly ride Randy Moss to All-Pro status like Daunte Culpepper did in Minnesota.

2. Detroit Lions: Brady Qinn, QB Notre Dame

I'm not excited about this pick at all. First of all did you see the picture I used for this post?!?! Does that inspire you to think he's going to be a great pro quarterback? Didn't think so. Having watched Quinn closely since he plays for Notre Dame and they are always on TV, I'm not sold on him being a great pro QB at all. While he does a great job tearing up the service academies and the Stanfords of the world, he hasn't played well against elite competition at all. He may have beat Michigan two years in a row but it was more due to Michigan miscues than his savvy QB play. Best example I can give of this is when he threw the touchdown pass to Samardzija that was deflected off a Michigan defender's hand. Horrible throw, lucky break. Then this year during his "Heisman" campaign he was exposed by Michigan and USC. Hate to say it but I think the defenses in the NFL are better than Michigan and USC. Quinn tends to get happy feet in the face of a decent pass rush and last I checked the Lions O-line was rather terrible. Brady may need a few more band-aids if he becomes a Lion. Kiper has the Lions taking Thomas here in his first mock draft. I really can't see Matt Millen using this high of a pick on an O-lineman. Plus that seems to be a position of depth in this draft so I'm sure Millen will look to make a splash with this pick and then go O-line in the second round. Quinn fills the "splash" quotient here while making it exceedingly possible that Millen blows another high pick. Looks like a match to me! The Lions making this pick pretty much ruins the draft for me right after it begins....

3*. Cleveland Browns: Alan Branch, DT Michigan

*Number 3 pick is a tie between Cleveland and Tampa TBD by coin flip at end of this month

The coin flip won't affect either pick unless someone trades down or something. Browns need some defense and help up the middle and Branch should help fill that need. After a lackluster Sophomore year, (though the argument could be made that EVERYONE at Michigan had a lackluster year during the...ugh...7-5 2005 campaign...let's not speak of that again shall we?) Branch helped a revitalized Michigan defense rise back to prominence before that slide at the end of the season (another thing I don't want to discuss) and showed the ability to pass rush the QB and stop the run, something Cleveland needs. Michigan defensive players have a pretty good track record in the NFL (two played last night...Cato June and Marlin Jackson) so this should be a pretty good pick up for Cleveland.

3*. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Calvin Johnson, WR Georgia Tech

I really wish Matt Millen had the stones to take Johnson. He is easily the most talented player in this draft and Tampa is going to get a steal at number four. Bear in mind that Johnson was great in college and he had REGGIE BALL throwing to him! Can you imagine how great he would have been if he had a decent QB throwing to him? Tampa's "deep threat" is an ever aging Joey Galloway, and Michael Clayton hasn't delivered on the great rookie campaign of two years ago (just ask my fantasy team...) so getting Johnson here will be a great pick up for the Bucs and will be a nice addition to a team that really wasn't as bad as their record last year.

5. Arizona Cardinals: Joe Thomas, OT Wisconsin

I don't know how I feel about Joe Thomas. On the one hand he dominated his competition this year, but on the other hand Wisconsin didn't play anybody except Michigan, and he was alright in that game. I must admit, Big Ten tackles scare the hell out of me in the NFL. I've been burned by them a couple of times as a Lions fan. Aaron Gibson was supposed to be a big lineman with quick feet out of Wisconsin, but instead turned out to be just a slow fat guy who was a bust from the moment he squeezed into his XXXXXXXL jersey. Jeff Backus was also supposed to be a stud out of Michigan but has been decent at best. The only reason the Lions gave him that big extension is because there aren't that many great tackles out in free agency so you have to hold on to what you have. Pains me to say that about a Michigan player but Backus hasn't panned out like most thought he would. That brings us back to Thomas who is getting the kind of hype Robert Gallery got two years ago out of Iowa, and you can ask the Raiders how well that is panning out. Thomas seems to have the total package of size, agility, and quickness to be able to handle the speed of an NFL outside pass rush, but as always drafting an O-lineman this high is tough. Arizona desperately needs the help though so this is a no brainer pick here. Their O-line is terrible and if their offense is ever going to realize it's potential, that's a problem they need to fix.

There you have it. My first look at the top 5 of the 2007 NFL Draft. We are only a couple of months away from the festivities so let the draft talk begin! WOOOO!!!!

Avoiding the Noise Day Two: Godsend

Guns don't kill people...Lamar Woodley does...

Today I'm sitting at work and I start to wonder how I'm actually going to make it through these two weeks without watching any sports analysis. How can I do this? I've watched SportsCenter for pretty much every day of my life since I turned 8. Some kids watched Power Rangers and cartoons in the morning but I was up watching SportsCenter (and the Sports Reporters on Sundays...can you believe that shit? I wish I could go back in time and tell a young me how stupid most of those guys sound and not to waste my time) and perhaps a bit of Saved by the Bell....what can I say? I was a sucker for Kelly....but I digress.

So I thought long and hard about what I was going to do to occupy my time and then it hit me. IT'S SENIOR BOWL WEEK!!! That's right folks. It's the start of my second favorite time of year (behind College Football season)....NFL DRAFT TIME! The NFL Network (I know...talk about getting way to close to the enemy) is showing Senior Bowl practice all week and analyzing prospects for the draft. HELL YES! Plus they have the game itself on Saturday! Now I can sit back and start my NFL offseason a whole week early.

I'm pretty big into the NFL draft. It combines College Football and the NFL...two things I love. Plus it's the only time of year a Lions fan can actually feel optimistic...though if we draft that bed wetting Brady Quinn I may jump off my apartment building. Just sayin.

I know what you're thinking here though, "Aren't you going to run into some Super Bowl hype by watching the NFL Network." I know I'm walking on eggshells here. One false move and I'll be hearing Steve Mariucci or Deion Sanders discussing Tony Dungy's new found big game greatness or what Peyton Manning heroically ate for breakfast on the day of the AFC Championship.

So here's my plan. I'm using the awesome power that is my DVR to record the Senior Bowl coverage and therefore I don't actually have to turn on the NFL Network itself, thus aiding in avoiding a potential pratfall. Plus, I can then pause and fast forward anytime a commercial is on (Peyton is in 2 of every 4) and also just in case they decide to talk a little Super Bowl instead of focusing on the Senior Bowl in the broadcast. IT'S A PERFECT SYSTEM!

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go watch my man Lamar Woodley greatly improve his draft status during one on one drills against the future draft bust Joe Thomas. Enjoy your evening!

Lions Can't Even Lose Right....

As usual the Lions play their best when it hurts them the most...

Well, well, well....in what has now become a yearly tradition, the Lions pulled off a meaningless victory that hurts their draft status on the road in a game they probably should have lost. Last year it was against the Saints (which was also their last road victory until today), and this year it was against the Cowboys. Luckily this year it will only cost the Lions one pick as they are now picking second overall instead of first. Last year it dropped them from number two all the way down to number nine. I'm sure Lions fans are real happy that that meaningless win against the Saints cost the team Reggie Bush or Vince Young....ugh...makes me sick...

As usual the Lions played lights out today (for them) and pulled off a "remarkable" victory. Why can't this team play like this all year? The Lions always play their best when they can fuck up their draft pick. Someone needs to let them know that if they play like this all season they can really screw up their draft pick by making the playoffs or something. Jon Kitna played lights out as well as Roy Williams and Mike Furrey. Mike Williams (!) caught the go ahead touchdown pass and then the Lions defense stopped Tony Romo on the one on fourth and goal to seal the win. Romo then went and cried in the arms of Carrie Underwood so I'm sure he'll be okay. The Cowboys now lose any chance at the division title and will play in Seattle next week. Hope it downpours all over T.O.....you guys should be ashamed that you lost at home to the freaking Lions. ASHAMED!!! Well I guess this means that the Raiders will take Brady Quinn off of our hands....hopefully he won't turn out to be a Hall of Famer and we'll look back on this win as horribly as we look back on last year's over the Saints....Enjoy the New Year!

NFL Draft Suicide Watch

Don't look him directly in the eye....

With the Lions making their march to the number one overall pick in the draft, basically a loss this week pretty much seals it, I figure it's time to check to see which members of college football's elite may find their careers ruined by Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions. So without further ado....

Jeff Samardzija

WR/P, Notre Dame/Chicago Cubs

What Jeff will be doing if he gets drafted by the Lions

This pick fits all the Millen standards. Wide Receiver? Check. Major University? Check. High probability of turning out horribly? Check. I can totally envision a scenario where the Lions take Samardzija and then having him give the organization the middle finger by going and pitching for the Cubs. This would be a dream scenario for anyone who really hates Matt Millen. I do think Millen is stupid enough not to check if the kid wants to play baseball, but I don't know if this pick is "sexy" enough for the big man.

Odds On Lions Killing Career: 15-1

Joe Thomas

OT, Wisconsin

This is what Joe will look like as a Detroit Lion....

This is probably a pick that would fill a need the Lions desperately have to fix. Their offensive line is HORRIBLE and they haven't been able to fix it in free agency over the years so one would assume that this would be a great place to start rebuilding the team. That's probably why I can't see Millen going for this. It makes too much sense. Matt Millen...fill a need? Fuck that. He's going for the "best available talent" no matter what position he plays. THAT'S the mentality that lets a team actually pick three straight wide receivers in the first round and turns the franchise into a running joke, but then again if not for Matt Millen this might be a happy blog and you may never even read this. Joe should thank his lucky stars Millen's an idiot because his career will be given a chance to flourish in a place like Arizona...wait that's not good either....God speed Joe....

Odds on Lions Killing Career: 10-1

Calvin Johnson

WR, Georgia Tech

Uh yeah....don't get used to scoring touchdowns Calvin....

What would a Lions draft preview be without TWO wide receivers? Johnson has better "measurables" then Samardzija which means he would probably the sexier pick. He also has the added bonus of already having played with a terrible quarterback in college so the jump to the shit the Lions put behind center really won't be much of an adjustment. Never have I seen a prospect who is so good at looking frustrated at his QB's under thrown interceptions or catching a ball that was thrown to his knee. He may be the perfect receiver for the Lions, and with Mike Williams fat ass about to be shipped out of town it may be a good time to restock the receiver closet Matt. Mike Furrey can't do it alone you know.....

Odds on Lions Killing Career: 5-1

Adrian Peterson

RB, Oklahoma

Get used to breaking tackles. Offensive line? Never heard of it....

With Kevin Jones foot being declared MIA for the foreseeable future, the Lions may be looking Adrian's way to fill the big shoes that are still left from Barry Sanders. He definitely fits the bill for a Lions running back. Great talent but an injury waiting to happen. Sounds like Billy Simms and Kevin Jones alright. Perfect! The only thing holding Millen back on pulling the trigger on this one is that he might actually be good. Can't have that. You don't get four year contract extensions for putting a good team on the field. Nope, there is a sexier pick out there for Millen to snatch up....

Odds of Lions Killing Career: 3-1

Brady Quinn

QB, Notre Dame

Just change the uniform and this is what Brady will look like in Lions colors...

Let me list a few names for you okay? It won't take too long but I think it will prove my point...

• Chuck Long
• Andre Ware
• Joey Harrington

These are the last three quarterbacks the Lions have taken in the first round. Great track record huh? Are you as excited about Brady Quinn as I am now!!! I can't wait to watch this guy shit the bed on Sundays like he did on Saturdays against good competition. I will say I've never seen a QB light up the Service Academies like young Brady did. Plus did you see how he tore up Stanford? AWESOME! Plus he lead that comeback over our little friends from East Lansing too! He's GREAT! DRAFT HIM NUMBER ONE! HE CAN'T MISS! What's that you're saying? He played Michigan and USC this season? BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HOW TALL HE IS?!?! AND THAT ARM STRENGTH?!?! AND HE'S DREAMY! I fully expect that the first pick EVER announced by Roger Goodell will be Brady Quinn going to the Detroit Lions. In a related story Brady Quinn has been put on suicide watch and the Lions have ordered extra oats for Brady's sister...

She's currently training for the Kentucky Derby....

So Brady I really only have one thing to say to prepare you for your "career" here in Detroit. Run. Run as fast as you can!

Odds of Lions Killing Career: 1-2 (Sorry Brady....)

This Just In: The Detroit Lions are Shitty

Funny thing, this was also Kevin's expression seconds after the Lions drafted him

Well I think I'm done for a bit with College Football as I've been told by my doctor's that my heart needs a bit of a rest, so I will move on to the other football team that makes my winter a long one (but for completely different reasons).....the vortex of suck that is the Detroit Lions!

Yes the Lions lost another one yesterday 30-20 at the hands of the Minnesota Vikings, and for you keeping score at home that puts the Lions at 2-11 for the season, which is right on track for the number one overall pick in the draft (COME ON RAIDERS! JUST WIN ONE MORE BABY!) The thing about it is....I'm not even mad anymore. I'm just numb to how bad the Lions are and that makes me sad. My family has had season tickets for years and I've seen some great things (Barry going over 2,000 yards comes to mind) but since Millen took over I've just seen loss after loss to the point where I usually am formulating the way the Lions are going to collapse whenever they have the lead. I mean what other team in the NFL can have a imporable comeback at home get derailed by a botched hold on an extra point? Okay, maybe the Arizona Cardinals, but still....the Lions really suck.

It's gotten to the point that whenever the Lions go into the tank, usually once the season opening kickoff is in the air, I start to look forward to the one day a year when I can have some optomism...the NFL Draft.....So in honor of that I'm going to take a look at some of the guys who could see their careers ruined by the Detroit Lions in the near future....

Brady Quinn QB Notre Dame

I don't know if the Lions can gamble on another pretty quarterback with a name that ends in Y after the whole Joey Harrington debacle. Brady has already shown that he shits the bed when good competition rolls into South Bend (see: 2006 Wolverines, Michigan) so if he becomes a Lion I see a lot of "Happy Feet" and running for his life before heaving the ball downfield for the inevitable interception....in other words pretty much the same as every other past Lions QB. Bear in mind, however, that if the Lions pass on Quinn you can start making his bust for Canton....

Calvin Johnson WR Georgia Tech

The Lions can't draft another receiver can they? Hell yeah they could. You know why? Millen is batshit crazy folks! I say we bring Calvin in, jettison Mike Williams fat ass to the curb, and then let Mike Martz go crazy and pass on every single down. I mean we'd still go 2-14 but at least the score would be 46-44 instead of 9-7.....

Joe Thomas LT Wisconsin

Matt Millen drafting an offensive lineman with the number one pick? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! This pick would actually make too much sense if you just look at need. The Lions offensive line is horrible (which I could cut and paste every year) and they definitely need help and Joe Thomas could very well fill that need and be an anchor on the Lions line for years to come....but there's little to no chance Millen is going for this kind of pick that high in the draft. Are you freaking crazy?!?! Plus if the Lions actually did pick this poor soul he would become another Jeff Backus or Aaron Gibson....in a word....crappy.....

Adrian Peterson RB Oklahoma

And that brings us to Adrian Peterson. I hear you screaming, "THE LIONS ALREADY HAVE A RUNNING BACK!" Well Matt Millen says screw need I'm getting the sexiest pick I can! (with the exception of last year's Ernie Sims over Matt Leinart pick.....I'm still in shock that this happened) Is Adrian Peterson a big name? Yes. Will there be a lot of buzz if he's picked? Yes. Do the Lions really need him? No. Which means that Adrian midaswell start trying on some Honolulu Blue and Silver right now. All I can say to the young man is....sorry.....

UPDATE: The Detroit News is saying that Kevin Jones is out for the rest of this season with a severe left foot injury and his availability for 2007 is even in question. Bring on Adrian Peterson!