Time to Start the NFL Draft Talk! Lions are Undefeated in 2007!

The next quarterback of the Detroit Lions...great

Let's save all the discussion about what went down last night. It was a terrible game with terrible commercials and unfortunately I can't get that time in my life back. Not only did I dislike both teams in this game but then they had to go and play a horrible game. Probably the worst Super Bowl since the Giants/Ravens debacle. Also some guy named Brett Favre announced that he's coming back for another year. Somewhere John Madden and Tony Kornheiser are sharing a beer and debating how best to give a verbal hand job to Brett next season. Great....

The good news though is that with that pesky Super Bowl out of the way we can officially start the offseason and start talking NFL Draft! What's that you say? The Pro Bowl is next weekend? While some may enjoy watching the best players in the NFL (and Tony Romo) play basically a glorified flag football game, it's really just not for me. The season is over and the offseason starts now damnit. So without further ado here's my first (of many) NFL mock draft, and since it's before the combine I'm only going top 5, after that I'll start to venture to a top 10.

Before I start this let me say that I'm 4 time defending champ of my annual NFL draft pool and have picked the top 15 picks with 98% accuracy over that span. Beyond that I'm about as good as anyone else, which is to say that I'm hit and miss, but over the first 15 I've been lights out. So there you go....

1. Oakland Raiders: JaMarcus Russell, QB LSU

It almost seems like Russell has been built just to please Al Davis. He's a big quarterback with a cannon for an arm that will fit rather well in the "vertical" offense Davis loves. Plus the Raiders currently employ Aaron Brooks and Andrew Walter at the QB position so this is probably an area where they could use some improvement. If you don't want shitty QB play that is. Russell should thrive in Oakland where he could possibly ride Randy Moss to All-Pro status like Daunte Culpepper did in Minnesota.

2. Detroit Lions: Brady Qinn, QB Notre Dame

I'm not excited about this pick at all. First of all did you see the picture I used for this post?!?! Does that inspire you to think he's going to be a great pro quarterback? Didn't think so. Having watched Quinn closely since he plays for Notre Dame and they are always on TV, I'm not sold on him being a great pro QB at all. While he does a great job tearing up the service academies and the Stanfords of the world, he hasn't played well against elite competition at all. He may have beat Michigan two years in a row but it was more due to Michigan miscues than his savvy QB play. Best example I can give of this is when he threw the touchdown pass to Samardzija that was deflected off a Michigan defender's hand. Horrible throw, lucky break. Then this year during his "Heisman" campaign he was exposed by Michigan and USC. Hate to say it but I think the defenses in the NFL are better than Michigan and USC. Quinn tends to get happy feet in the face of a decent pass rush and last I checked the Lions O-line was rather terrible. Brady may need a few more band-aids if he becomes a Lion. Kiper has the Lions taking Thomas here in his first mock draft. I really can't see Matt Millen using this high of a pick on an O-lineman. Plus that seems to be a position of depth in this draft so I'm sure Millen will look to make a splash with this pick and then go O-line in the second round. Quinn fills the "splash" quotient here while making it exceedingly possible that Millen blows another high pick. Looks like a match to me! The Lions making this pick pretty much ruins the draft for me right after it begins....

3*. Cleveland Browns: Alan Branch, DT Michigan

*Number 3 pick is a tie between Cleveland and Tampa TBD by coin flip at end of this month

The coin flip won't affect either pick unless someone trades down or something. Browns need some defense and help up the middle and Branch should help fill that need. After a lackluster Sophomore year, (though the argument could be made that EVERYONE at Michigan had a lackluster year during the...ugh...7-5 2005 campaign...let's not speak of that again shall we?) Branch helped a revitalized Michigan defense rise back to prominence before that slide at the end of the season (another thing I don't want to discuss) and showed the ability to pass rush the QB and stop the run, something Cleveland needs. Michigan defensive players have a pretty good track record in the NFL (two played last night...Cato June and Marlin Jackson) so this should be a pretty good pick up for Cleveland.

3*. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Calvin Johnson, WR Georgia Tech

I really wish Matt Millen had the stones to take Johnson. He is easily the most talented player in this draft and Tampa is going to get a steal at number four. Bear in mind that Johnson was great in college and he had REGGIE BALL throwing to him! Can you imagine how great he would have been if he had a decent QB throwing to him? Tampa's "deep threat" is an ever aging Joey Galloway, and Michael Clayton hasn't delivered on the great rookie campaign of two years ago (just ask my fantasy team...) so getting Johnson here will be a great pick up for the Bucs and will be a nice addition to a team that really wasn't as bad as their record last year.

5. Arizona Cardinals: Joe Thomas, OT Wisconsin

I don't know how I feel about Joe Thomas. On the one hand he dominated his competition this year, but on the other hand Wisconsin didn't play anybody except Michigan, and he was alright in that game. I must admit, Big Ten tackles scare the hell out of me in the NFL. I've been burned by them a couple of times as a Lions fan. Aaron Gibson was supposed to be a big lineman with quick feet out of Wisconsin, but instead turned out to be just a slow fat guy who was a bust from the moment he squeezed into his XXXXXXXL jersey. Jeff Backus was also supposed to be a stud out of Michigan but has been decent at best. The only reason the Lions gave him that big extension is because there aren't that many great tackles out in free agency so you have to hold on to what you have. Pains me to say that about a Michigan player but Backus hasn't panned out like most thought he would. That brings us back to Thomas who is getting the kind of hype Robert Gallery got two years ago out of Iowa, and you can ask the Raiders how well that is panning out. Thomas seems to have the total package of size, agility, and quickness to be able to handle the speed of an NFL outside pass rush, but as always drafting an O-lineman this high is tough. Arizona desperately needs the help though so this is a no brainer pick here. Their O-line is terrible and if their offense is ever going to realize it's potential, that's a problem they need to fix.

There you have it. My first look at the top 5 of the 2007 NFL Draft. We are only a couple of months away from the festivities so let the draft talk begin! WOOOO!!!!

Can We Just Play this Damn Game Already?!?

This pretty much depicts me over the past two weeks....

The wait is almost over folks. The event we've all been waiting for is almost here. Can't you taste it yet? It's right there. We're a little more then 24 hours away from being able to talk about the NFL Draft! What's that you say? There's a game too? Really? They should probably publicize that a bit more or no one's going to know about it.

It's been a rough two weeks. I've managed to make it thus far without watching a second of pre-game analysis therefore allowing me to keep my sanity instead of listening to people like Sean Salisbury wax poetic for two weeks on the same crap. Here's what's amazing about the whole situation. I haven't watched a second of analysis on this game and yet I still feel relatively informed as to how these teams are going to play AND the major storylines going into the game. How was I able to ascertain this knowledge without two weeks of incessant babbling about it? Um, I'm guessing it's from watching 20 weeks of freaking football already! Seriously what have we learned in the past two weeks that we didn't already know? Here are the major storylines going into the Super Bowl, and remember I didn't watch ANY pre-game coverage....

1. Peyton Manning shits the bed in big games: He did it at Tennessee, he's done it with the Colts and now he has a chance to get that monkey off his back so he won't end up being the next Dan Marino. Though someday I'd love to see Peyton arguing with a guy like Trent Dilfer on a pre-game show and every time he mentions something about Super Bowls, Trent flashes his ring in his face. That would be AWESOME!
   
2. Apparently Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are black: Don't know if you've been made aware of this, but it's kind of a big deal.
3. Tank Johnson is a idiot with lots of weapons: I think Jay Mariotti has probably written about 3,000 columns on this so I think we've got it covered.
   
4. Rex Grossman is a shitty quarterback: Yep, it's really that simple. Dude threw about four good passes in the NFC Title game and yet the Bears won. He could become the worst QB ever to win a Super Bowl.
   

There you go. Four major storylines leading into this Sunday's game. I'm sure these have been beaten into your head over and over and over, but just thought I'd remind you. Are those exciting stories? I totally think this warrants SIX HOURS of pregame. I do think they may need an extra bag of oats to get Shannon Sharpe through the broadcast, and just as a precaution someone should probably check him for Laminitis...don't want another Barbaro on our hands.

To be honest this is probably the least excited I've been for a Super Bowl. On one hand you have the Colts and Peyton Manning (who I intensely dislike) and then you have the Bears and their horrible fans. So either Peyton finally gets his big win which will start an onslaught of announcer love the likes we have never seen, or some of the worst fans in the NFL will get an opportunity to celebrate a championship and then talk about this team for the next 20 freaking years like the last time they won the Super Bowl. Can we just not play this game and start next season right now? Please?

So I suppose you're wondering who I'm taking in this game (or not, either way). Well it's a pretty simple thing to figure out. Peyton can't beat Florida. They pantsed him all of his years in college and he's never really gotten over it. Where did Rex Grossman go to school? Florida. There you go folks. It's pretty simple when you get down to it right? In the biggest ironic twist EVER~! (and that's what we'll be hearing ad nauseum after this game) Rex Grossman will outplay Peyton Manning and win the Super Bowl. Take it to the bank. But if, for some reason, the Colts actually win this game, may God have mercy on us all, because the amount of announcer blustering may reach apocalyptic levels if Peyton wins the big one. Be sure to go out and buy plenty of can food and bottled water. You've been warned.....

Bears 31 Colts 24

Now about that draft....

Avoiding the Noise Day Four: The Magic of NFL Films

This man is really doing God's work

Do you realize that the last bit of actual NFL programming I watched was the moment after Peyton Manning kneeled down to seal the game against the Pats? I've managed to avoid it all. Of course this means I haven't been able to see SportsCenter, but thanks to the interweb I've been able to keep up with the goings on with all of my teams (let's not discuss Michigan's performance in Madison last night shall we?) In my effort to find ways to fill this gap in my sports viewing I've tried many options, but today I may have found the best one. What better way to fill the football void than with...football.

Now as I've said before the Senior Bowl has been doing a great job of filling some of the football watching void. Listening to some draft analysis is good for my soul, but there is still a little bit of me that misses the NFL a little bit. Not enough to make me want to flip on NFL Live, mostly because I may run into Merrill Hoge, but enough to feel a small void. Today I found the answer to that void....NFL FILMS BABY!

ESPN is currently running NFL Films Super Bowl highlight films during the day and these are easily the best thing on TV right now. Every highlight film is set up by Steve Sabol, who runs NFL films, and he always does a decent job giving a brief description of the storylines of that particular season before setting up the title of the highlight film. They are always something corny like "Gold Rush" for one of the 49ers wins but I think that adds to the charm a bit. When I was a kid ESPN would run these all Super Bowl Sunday before the game and I would just watch that all day instead of the six (can you actually believe they spend this much time on ONE FREAKING GAME!) hours of pre-game coverage.

Nothing can really duplicate the NFL Films music and John Facenda's voice over the highlights. Just great stuff. Today I caught a bit of the 49ers beat down of the Chargers. Watching that really reminded me how brutal of a beating that really was. Steve Young threw six (!) TD passes in that game. I guess the best analogy I could come up with is that the 49ers were Kobe and the Chargers were...nevermind...

That being said this was a welcome diversion in my day and I would totally recommend watching as many of these as you can. What better way to get ready for the Super Bowl than by watching all the greatness of the past ones? Okay...maybe skip the Ravens/Giants one...but even that game would be better than watching Salisbury and Hoge obsess over whether Peyton was able to thumb wrestle with Eli this week...this bye week is just freaking brutal...ugh. A little over a week to go!

Avoiding the Noise Day Three: The Other End of the Spectrum

Wait....they started hockey season?

In my efforts to make it the full two weeks to the Super Bowl without watching a minute of the pre-game coverage I've gone a couple of avenues. Yesterday I found watching Senior Bowl practice to be a pretty good way to avoid the coverage while combining my love of the NFL Draft and College Football...but Senior Bowl practice can only get me so far. I need more things to fill the void. So imagine my amazement when I find out on this series of tubes we call the internets that the NHL All Star game is tonight! First of all since when do they put this game on a Wednesday night? I read it's because Betteman and his infinite wisdom decided that this was the best way to "showcase" the game and get it more exposure....

Well I don't have a degree in marketing but your first problem with this whole "exposure" issue is the fact that you are broadcast on some network called "Versus." This network was previously famous (read: not) for its coverage of the Tour De France. Um, how do you expect to get exposure playing on a network that's only other sports coverage was limited to freaking cycling? Seriously? Who thought this was a good idea? I'm not really that amazed that this league shut down for a year with idiots like this running the show. I realize that ESPN was lowballing you NHL and the crazy wackjobs from Comcast came to your door with a few more dollar bills. So you go with the company that may not be as good, but hey...they're paying us more! SCORE! Here's the problem with that. While the short term gain is something, the long term loss will probably be more. The NHL has a bunch of young stars and the game is more wide open thanks to new rules. This is the time the NHL should be using to grow a bigger national following in the hopes of landing a bigger TV deal when the current one expires. Instead....they are floundering on a shitty network and wasting the early years of some future megastars. No one is watching the NHL...and a lot of it has to do with the people in charge making a grab for the easy money instead of making the more sound investment with a real network and taking a hit in the interim but hopefully building up to a strong future.

The second mistake is this dumb as hell All Star scheduling. Does anyone in the NHL watch TV? Why in God's name do you put your All Star game up against American Idol? It's on EVERY DAMN JANUARY! Did this just sneak up on your dumb asses? And don't tell me it's a different audience. These are the people the NHL wants to make into their new fans. Young people with lots of spending power. Go look at American Idol's demos. They BLOW AWAY the competition in the male 18-34 demo. Gee...I'm sure the NHL may want some of those viewers....but instead Betteman decides to put his All Star game up against that instead of putting it on a weekend with no football and up against such juggernauts as The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives. I'm not a betting man, but I'm guessing the ratings would be a bit better on Sunday.

Is it a requirement to work for the NHL offices to have your head stuck directly up your ass? Seriously...what the fuck. It just amazes me that people who are paid rather well and probably went to pretty good schools can fuck up something this badly. This is basic shit here. Let me spell this out for you so you can understand....DON'T PROGRAM ONE OF YOUR SHOWCASE EVENTS AGAINST AMERICAN IDOL AND ON A PIECE OF SHIT NETWORK THAT BARELY ANYONE KNOWS EVEN EXISTS! If I were the NHL I would be saving every penny of that TV money Comcast gave them...at this rate they may be paying the TV stations to air them next time....

Avoiding the Noise Day Two: Godsend

Guns don't kill people...Lamar Woodley does...

Today I'm sitting at work and I start to wonder how I'm actually going to make it through these two weeks without watching any sports analysis. How can I do this? I've watched SportsCenter for pretty much every day of my life since I turned 8. Some kids watched Power Rangers and cartoons in the morning but I was up watching SportsCenter (and the Sports Reporters on Sundays...can you believe that shit? I wish I could go back in time and tell a young me how stupid most of those guys sound and not to waste my time) and perhaps a bit of Saved by the Bell....what can I say? I was a sucker for Kelly....but I digress.

So I thought long and hard about what I was going to do to occupy my time and then it hit me. IT'S SENIOR BOWL WEEK!!! That's right folks. It's the start of my second favorite time of year (behind College Football season)....NFL DRAFT TIME! The NFL Network (I know...talk about getting way to close to the enemy) is showing Senior Bowl practice all week and analyzing prospects for the draft. HELL YES! Plus they have the game itself on Saturday! Now I can sit back and start my NFL offseason a whole week early.

I'm pretty big into the NFL draft. It combines College Football and the NFL...two things I love. Plus it's the only time of year a Lions fan can actually feel optimistic...though if we draft that bed wetting Brady Quinn I may jump off my apartment building. Just sayin.

I know what you're thinking here though, "Aren't you going to run into some Super Bowl hype by watching the NFL Network." I know I'm walking on eggshells here. One false move and I'll be hearing Steve Mariucci or Deion Sanders discussing Tony Dungy's new found big game greatness or what Peyton Manning heroically ate for breakfast on the day of the AFC Championship.

So here's my plan. I'm using the awesome power that is my DVR to record the Senior Bowl coverage and therefore I don't actually have to turn on the NFL Network itself, thus aiding in avoiding a potential pratfall. Plus, I can then pause and fast forward anytime a commercial is on (Peyton is in 2 of every 4) and also just in case they decide to talk a little Super Bowl instead of focusing on the Senior Bowl in the broadcast. IT'S A PERFECT SYSTEM!

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go watch my man Lamar Woodley greatly improve his draft status during one on one drills against the future draft bust Joe Thomas. Enjoy your evening!

Avoiding the Noise Day One: Withdrawals

Tyrone knows all about withdrawals

Well I made it. Day one of avoiding any and all live sports programming and I'm still here. Granted I'm huddled in a fetal position on my floor and typing this with one hand but I totally made it. No SportsCenter, no Cold Pizza (not a huge loss), no ESPNEWS...absolutely no sports analysis on TV. I even avoided live games just in case they decide to start talking about the Super Bowl. Trust me...it happens. Dick Vitale talked about Steve Mariucci getting fired during a college basketball game....it can totally happen.

As it stands I have 12 days left to avoid any and all sports analysis. I experienced a little withdrawal this evening when my hand automatically wanted to turn SportsCenter on when I got home from work...but I fought the urge and flipped on reruns of Seinfeld. It was hard mind you but I rested a bit easier knowing that all I was missing was Sean Salisbury waxing poetic (in a way only he can) on how fantastic Peyton, and Tony Dungy are. Just the thought gives me chills.

With one day down I'm pretty optimistic that I can make it through this, but I'm going to have to get a bit more creative with things to do. Heroes isn't on every night and Lost doesn't come back until next week. I suppose tomorrow I could be a good American and get watch the State of the Union, but by the end of that I'm sure I'll want to throw a remote through the TV.

No matter what I end up doing I remain committed to avoiding any and all Super Bowl analysis. I SHALL PREVAIL! Now isn't it time for SportsCenter...DAMNIT!

The End is Near...

Where I'll be spending the next two weeks

That's it. I'm moving to Montana and living in a shack for the next two weeks. Not only do the Colts win but the BEARS TOO?!?! So instead of just being treated to analysis of how best to suck off Peyton Manning, I ALSO get to see the Super Bowl shuffle on a constant loop too!! GREAT! If you thought the coverage of Jerome Bettis was horrible last year (I think he may be from Detroit...don't know if you knew that....) just wait. We're all going to be treated to countless stories on how Peyton finally won a big game....and if that's not enough we'll probably be treated to about 1,000 different Archie Manning interviews too! CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT?!?!

Today I think CBS cut away to the freaking Manning box about 3 or 4 thousand times to see just how the Manning family was reacting to pretty much everything on the field. "And there's an incomplete pass by Manning. Let's see how Archie and Eli are taking it." On a related note, was anybody else struck by how unenthusiastic Eli was after the Colts scored the winning touchdown? He had the same look as when he threw that dumb interception against the Titans. Now THAT was worth my time. Anyway, can you imagine the amount of Manning Family shots CBS is going to use for the Super Bowl?!? Ugh....they will probably even send Lesley Visser up there for an interview and lord knows we don't need to see that.

Plus the announcing fun has already gotten underway. Jim Nantz gave us a little preview of the Super Bowl when he decided to speak in complete hyperbole for the entire last 10 minutes of the game. The last drive was the "most important in Peyton Manning's life" and with 1st and 10 on the Pats 11 those were the "most important eleven yards in Peyton Manning's career" and so on and so forth. It's enough to make me actually want to cheer for the Bears before I remember what that they are from Chicago and the majority of their fans (NOT ALL...save the e-mail) are idiots who actually obsessed this week over which team Ditka was going with.

Well I for one can't take the amount of crap I'm about to hear/see over the next two weeks so it's time to rent out a Unabomber shack and start work on that Flux Capacitor so maybe I can make these two weeks go just that much faster.....