Let's Trade for Kobe!

Okay, so he's kind of an asshole, but hear me out....

In case you haven't heard, Kobe Bryant has decided that he really wants to be traded from the Lakers. Now he could change his mind, which he has done over and over during the past two months, but let's work under the assumption that he will be traded by the Lakers. Should the Pistons look at him? OF COURSE!

I realize that a lot of people outside L.A. don't like Kobe and I can completely understand. I don't really like him that much either, however, I enjoy championships and if Kobe could bring the Pistons a title or two I think I could find a place in my heart for #24 (McDyess will have to change his number for this to work....unless Kobe wants to change it again). So I decided to go over to ESPN's Trade Machine and give it a whirl and come up with some trade scenarios that would put Kobe in the Red, White and Blue for the 2007-08 season. Let the crazy speculation begin!

Rasheed Wallace ($11.6) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

(All dollar amounts are in the millions, but since you're not an idiot you already knew that right?)

Mitch Kupchak is pretty stupid (see: Shaq trade) but I don't think he's this stupid. Obviously the Pistons would have to throw in one or both of their first round picks this year in this deal, but that's not even enough. This would get rid of two problem people for Detroit (Rasheed for his stupidity, and Nazr for his being a giant pile of crap) and give them arguably the league's best player. This would create kind of a logjam in the backcourt, and would leave the Pistons with no solid front court scoring option, but if the Lakers were stupid enough to make this trade, Dumars should immediately get the paper work to the league office before they could come to their senses.

Rip Hamilton ($9.1) and Nazr Mohammed($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

From a pure basketball standpoint this could be the best deal for the Pistons to make. They'd have to toss one or two picks in here as well, but they wouldn't really need them if they got this trade to go through. If the Pistons were able to make this deal and re-sign Chauncey they would be looking at this starting lineup of Chauncey, Kobe, Tayshaun, Rasheed, and either Maxiell or McDyess (depending on what kind of lineup you want to go with). That lineup is easily good enough to win the East and probably good enough to compete with the Spurs. This would be a better trade for the Lakers as Rip could slide into Kobe's spot and produce for them, but I still don't think they'd make this deal, though the Trade Machine doesn't account for the smell of desperation that may be coming from L.A. in the near future....

Chauncey Billups (Sign and Trade) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

For this trade to work Chauncey would obviously have to want to go to L.A, and also the Pistons would probably have to keep one of their two draft picks to use on a point guard. This is not the prettiest of trades on a pure basketball standpoint, as it would leave the Pistons without a point guard, but you could probably spin Rip into a point guard (Mike Bibby maybe?) in another deal to fix that problem. Another decent deal for the Lakers as they get Chauncey in return, though one has to ask how much of a market there is for him after this latest bad playoff performance.

You've probably noticed that I've tossed Nazr in all these trades, well since they traded Delfino already his contract is the best one to make the numbers work out. Now for my last one I've gone a little crazy....

Three Team Trade

• Pistons Get: Kobe Bryant ($17.7), Shawn Marion ($15), Maurice Evans ($1.6)


• Lakers Get: Rip Hamilton ($9.1), Rasheed Wallace ($11.6), Nazr Mohammed($5.2), Pistons #27 pick in draft


• Suns Get: Lamar Odom ($12.3), Lindsey Hunter ($2.2), Pistons #15 draft pick

So how many parades should we plan? Two? Three? Yes folks this trade does work under the salary cap. I threw in the draft picks myself where I thought they'd be going. The Suns may get both Detroit picks in this scenario, but those can go wherever. This solves the problems for all three teams. First, the Pistons make a move to get a younger more dynamic roster with Kobe and Marion, while getting rid of problem child Rasheed. The Lakers trade Kobe (something they didn't want to do, but had to) but are able to get pretty good value back for him in the form of Rip, Rasheed, and a draft pick. Sheed should be good for the last two years on his contract since he's playing for Phil Jackson who has a track record of reigning in head cases. The Suns in the meantime get rid of Marion who is having trouble coexisting with Amare Stoudamire, while getting a pretty good player in return in Odom who will help save them some money with the luxury tax. Could be quite an interesting deal if the three teams were willing to pull it.

Well there you have it. A few different scenarios to put Kobe in Detroit. Will it happen? Probably not, but at least it makes for a fun offseason of discussion....

I'm Back Baby! WOOOO!!!

Had to use the Terminator pic here...

It's been awhile since I last posted, and now that other things in the "real world" have sorted themselves out, it's time to get back to what I do best....and that's make sarcastic comments about sports! To honor this great occasion I've decided to just do some random shots at various sports stuff that's been happening lately, so forgive me a bit if I jump around from topic to topic.

Michael Vick Hates Animal Rights

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Vick shows his opinion for PETA

What the hell is going on with Michael Vick? First he gets popped for that water bottle that may or may not have contained marijuana, and now he's being investigated by the Feds for running a huge dog fighting operation at the house he let's his cousin stay at. I'm sure the Falcons are real excited they traded Matt Schaub right about now. Hopefully for Vick's case the Prosecutors adopt Clinton Portis' "whatever you do in your own house is your own business," stance and this whole thing blows over. By the way, I don't think I ever really want to go to Clinton's house, I'm starting to imagine it's a lawless wasteland like Thunderdome in Mad Max.

Pistons Get Bounced by the Cavs

Seeing the Cavs stink up the Finals makes me sick to my stomach

Um...what the hell happened to the Pistons? They rolled off seven straight wins to start the playoffs and then basically went in the tank. The last solid game they played this postseason was Game Two against the Bulls. Ever since that ass beating they laid on Chicago they seemed to be playing in cruise control. It worked for two more wins against the Bulls and two close wins in Games One and Two against Cleveland, but once LeBron got rolling that was it for the Pistons. Everyone's been over and over how the series ended and we've all gotten to listen to various announcers give LeBron the biggest suck off this side of the one John Madden bestows on Brett Favre...so let's take a look at the future of the Pistons

• CHAUNCEY BILLUPS: How do you pay this guy max money after the last two flame outs in the post season? Chauncey has struggled in the last two Eastern Finals and he's expecting to get max money for six years?!? I like Chauncey, but I think "Mr. Big Shot" (and really, how many big shots has he actually made during the last two playoffs? I'm willing to bet he's missed more than he's made) isn't worth that kind of commitment. This team needs a radical change and I think a sign and trade with Chauncey may be the best bet to get some quality assets in return.
• RASHEED WALLACE: Let's forget how Rasheed basically went nuts at the end of game six and effectively cost the Pistons any chance at a comeback, and let's look at one basic question. Can Rasheed and Flip coexist another year? I honestly think the answer to that is an emphatic no. We all knew this day would come when the Pistons traded for Sheed in 2004. He's a great player for stretches, and is pretty unstoppable when he has his turnaround jumper going, but I think his time in Detroit has come to an end. Trading Sheed isn't going to be easy though. He has a contract worth $12 million and character issues to boot. I would say that the obvious solution would be to trade him to Portland for Zach Randolph (who would provide the Pistons with a good low post scorer/rebounder) but there's no way the Blazers are taking Sheed back....right?
• CHRIS WEBBER: I swear to God they had better not resign this piece of shit. My disdain for C-Webb has been well chronicled, but even the biggest C-Webb supporters would be hard pressed to argue that he didn't look terrible in the playoffs. I honestly think I can out jump him at this point, and that's saying a lot because I have a pretty small vertical leap. If Joe D resigns Webber, I may not go to a game next season in protest. LET HIS SORRY ASS GO!!!
• THE REST: I think the Pistons should resign McDyess, let Lindsey retire, and resign Amir Johnson. Beyond that they need to draft a point guard (I'll cover more of the NBA Draft stuff in a future post) and probably another big with their first round picks (if they don't trade them away in some sort of blockbuster deal though).

In the end the Pistons need to make some changes. This team has flamed out two straight years in the conference finals and I don't see how a team that's just getting older will do any better if they don't break up the starting five. If they keep this team together for another year we could be risking going into a long funk like what happened after the Bad Boys stayed together a bit too long. I for one don't want to go through that crap again.

Well that's it for now. I'm going to do a full post on the Tigers' Bullpens attempt at murdering me sometime tomorrow. Until then...peace out y'all!

Rasheed Calls Glass

Just amazing....

I'm pretty sure you've already seen this, but it's worth seeing again. Last night with the Pistons down three to the Nuggets with 1.5 seconds left, Tayshaun Prince got his head on the inbound pass and Rasheed Wallace picked up the loose ball and sent it 60 feet off glass and in to tie it up and send it to overtime. The Nuggets were obviously demoralized and kind of slept walk through overtime en route to a Pistons victory, but that shot was just amazing. George Karl says it was pure luck, but having been to Pistons practice a few times in my old job, I have seen Sheed and various other Pistons practicing shots like those all the time. The blog Need4Sheed has a video that shows Sheed practicing shots like the one from last night. Seeing this also makes me think of another similar shot from 2004...

That shot was from Game Five against the Nets in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. That also sent the game to overtime, but the Pistons would lose that game after Brian Scalabrine went out of his mind and started drilling three pointers. The Pistons did go on to win the NBA Title in 2004, so hopefully this shot is also a sign of things to come. Either way it was pretty incredible.