Saturday, June 30, 2007

What....the....Hell.....

I don't even have the words.....

After my long night of live blogging the NBA Draft, I've been thinking about different things I could spend my time writing about. The NBA offseason? The Tigers baseball season? The Detroit Shock? Wait, scratch that last one. But then I found something that needed my immediate attention.

In the video shown above this Lions fan goes on a delusional rant about the greatness of the Lions and how they are going to dominate the NFL this season. The sad part is I really think this guy is serious. As a life long fan of the Lions I've learned that the offseason generally goes through a certain cycle...
  1. Lions end shitty season
  2. Lions have high draft pick and debate rages over who they pick
  3. Lions use high draft pick on offensive player (usually receiver) to get fans excited
  4. I start to think that "maybe this season they could win 8 or 9 games" you never know...
  5. The Lions kick us all in the balls with another shitty season
  6. Rinse and repeat
This guy has taken step four's optimism to a very scary level. The sad part is he proves that he's somewhat of an idiot because even when he's ranting about how great the Lions are he screws up multiple times with some of the more simple points he's trying to make. Here are some of the highlights.....
"Jon Kitna is a touchdown assassin."
Okay, this statement is over the top and in that way sounds pretty stupid. What makes it REALLY stupid is the next sentence.
"He will throw his spirals of absolute vigor and absolute destruction into the
hands of (pause) Mike Williams."

Well there goes what little credibility you have. What kind of crazy Lions fan mistakes Roy Williams and Mike Williams? He corrects himself saying it was a "bad memory seeping in," but for future reference let me give you a handy way to tell them apart.

Roy Williams = Good

Mike Williams = HORRIBLE

Wasn't that easy? I mean for a guy who's such a big Lions fan you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, but not this guy. Let's keep going....
"The Lions are no longer a laughing stock, they are prime stock. If the
Lions were a stock they'd be so expensive that no one could buy them."
Seriously. This is what the guy says. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?!?! I would say it's funny, but in all honesty it just makes us Lions fans look pathetic and stupid. It just gets worse though. He calls Lions owner William Clay Ford, "HENRY Clay Ford." Again...big Lions fan we're dealing with here. But the greatest part is at the end when he's trying to make up a new meaning for NFL....
"The L in NFL stands for Lions. The N stands for (long pause) Not
Gonna....something the Lions I'll think about that later and put it in another
video."
Way to bring your A game asshole. I believe the version of NFL that you were looking for was "No Fucking Life." Seriously dude if you're really this crazy Lions fan you claim to be on your video why don't you get your act together. Write a script, practice it out, do multiple takes. All you're doing is making us all look like idiots when you post something like this. So from the rest of us Lions fans here's a plea to you. Shut the hell up.

2 comments:

Yeah Him said...

Sadly, I don't even follow football (except at playoffs and when it comes between baseball and NASCAR news that I am looking for on ESPN), but I know the sad dilemma that it is to hope for the Lions to actually make the playoffs.

That said, it's a Red Sox / Tigers weekend before the All Star game, so here's to good baseball!

great blog.

KRISTY said...

what the hell? i'm not even that bad. and get the names straight, you douche bag.