What....the....Hell.....

I don't even have the words.....

After my long night of live blogging the NBA Draft, I've been thinking about different things I could spend my time writing about. The NBA offseason? The Tigers baseball season? The Detroit Shock? Wait, scratch that last one. But then I found something that needed my immediate attention.

In the video shown above this Lions fan goes on a delusional rant about the greatness of the Lions and how they are going to dominate the NFL this season. The sad part is I really think this guy is serious. As a life long fan of the Lions I've learned that the offseason generally goes through a certain cycle...

1. Lions end shitty season
2. Lions have high draft pick and debate rages over who they pick
3. Lions use high draft pick on offensive player (usually receiver) to get fans excited
4. I start to think that "maybe this season they could win 8 or 9 games" you never know...
5. The Lions kick us all in the balls with another shitty season
6. Rinse and repeat

This guy has taken step four's optimism to a very scary level. The sad part is he proves that he's somewhat of an idiot because even when he's ranting about how great the Lions are he screws up multiple times with some of the more simple points he's trying to make. Here are some of the highlights.....

"Jon Kitna is a touchdown assassin."

Okay, this statement is over the top and in that way sounds pretty stupid. What makes it REALLY stupid is the next sentence.

"He will throw his spirals of absolute vigor and absolute destruction into the
hands of (pause) Mike Williams."

Well there goes what little credibility you have. What kind of crazy Lions fan mistakes Roy Williams and Mike Williams? He corrects himself saying it was a "bad memory seeping in," but for future reference let me give you a handy way to tell them apart.

Roy Williams = Good

Mike Williams = HORRIBLE

Wasn't that easy? I mean for a guy who's such a big Lions fan you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, but not this guy. Let's keep going....

"The Lions are no longer a laughing stock, they are prime stock. If the
Lions were a stock they'd be so expensive that no one could buy them."

Seriously. This is what the guy says. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?!?! I would say it's funny, but in all honesty it just makes us Lions fans look pathetic and stupid. It just gets worse though. He calls Lions owner William Clay Ford, "HENRY Clay Ford." Again...big Lions fan we're dealing with here. But the greatest part is at the end when he's trying to make up a new meaning for NFL....

"The L in NFL stands for Lions. The N stands for (long pause) Not
Gonna....something the Lions I'll think about that later and put it in another
video."

Way to bring your A game asshole. I believe the version of NFL that you were looking for was "No Fucking Life." Seriously dude if you're really this crazy Lions fan you claim to be on your video why don't you get your act together. Write a script, practice it out, do multiple takes. All you're doing is making us all look like idiots when you post something like this. So from the rest of us Lions fans here's a plea to you. Shut the hell up.

NBA Draft Live Blog Tonight!

Can you feel the excitement? (Pic courtesy ESPN.com)

I've been gone for a few days, but that's because I've been doing prep for my NBA Draft live blog tonight. I'll be doing it over at Ballpimp.com so come on over and enjoy! It all starts up at 7:30, and hopefully in between Stephen A. Smith screaming at Jay Bilas and Stu Scott scaring international players by quoting rap lyrics while interviewing them, Joe D will make some moves to get the Pistons back to the finals.

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 7-9

TOP OF THE 7TH INNING

9:05 - In case you were wondering the Phillies are up 4-3 on the Indians in the top of the 7th...just thought I'd pass that along....

9:06 - Rod Allen gives the Indians update just after I posted it. STAY OUT OF MY HEAD ROD!

9:07 - Rabelo gets hit by a pitch and jogs to first. Durbin is coming up again so I guess that means Leyland isn't going to the bullpen next inning.

9:08 - Durbin flies out to shallow right for the first out of the inning.

9:10 - Granderson goes down swinging at a pitch in the dirt. Two outs. Phillies have the bases loaded in Cleveland with no outs....

9:11 - Placido gets a line drive single to right. Runners on first and second for Sheff.....

9:12 - Chase Utley knocked in two runs and the Phils now lead 6-3 going into the bottom of the seventh. Could be a tie for first before this night is over.

9:14 - Sheff takes a 3-2 pitch and walks to load up the bases for Craig Monroe and his shiny new shoes.

9:15 - C-Mo grounds out to short to end the inning and leave them loaded. Ledezma was warming up in the bullpen last inning, we'll see if he comes in for the 7th.

BOTTOM OF THE 7TH INNING

9:16 - So watching the Nationals I'm starting to feel bad for their fans. They remind me a lot of the 2003 Tigers (and they even have Dmitri Young and Rob Fick) and I can feel their pain. It's so nice to have a really good baseball team. Just thought I'd mention.

9:18 - Wilfredo comes in and it just shows you how much of a beat down the Tigers are giving the Nats when they had Durbin bat last inning even though he was getting the hook. Good night for Durbin. Six solid innings and he only gave up one run. I would say I hope he stays in the rotation, but I think he'd be better out of the pen than Mike Maroth would be and I think fixing the bullpen is a bigger priority right now...so see you in middle relief Chad!

9:21 - Schneider strikes out swinging and immediately yells "FUCK!" so loud that you could hear it on the game microphones. Fantastic. Just a great season going in Washington.

9:23 - Langerhans strikes out and that's two in a row for Lidezma. Nice way to start things out.

9:24 - Nook Logan comes off the bench to pinch hit for the pitcher, although I think the pitcher would probably have better odds of getting a hit. Anybody remember when people thought he may be as good as Granderson? Thank God one of those people wasn't Dave Dombroski.

9:25 - Nook goes down looking and Lidezma strikes out the side. I know...I can't believe it either...

TOP OF THE 8TH INNING

9:26 - Score update from the Jake....6-3 Phils in the top of the 8th.

9:28 - Neifi leads off the inning. Can he make it TWO hits in a row?!?! (I know...crazy talk)

9:30 - Wow...I have to feel for Neifi. He just got hosed on a call at first. He was easily safe for an infield hit and the ump just missed it.

9:31 - Casey flies out to right for the out, but he hit a home run tonight so that is forgiven. Two outs.

9:32 - Inge gets a single to left center field and that brings up Rabelo who is the only non-pitcher without a hit tonight.

9:32 - They show Lidezma in the batter's box warming up and he looks so terrible that Kenny Rogers is just laughing at him. Hilarious. I hope Rabelo gets on so Wilfredo has to bat.

9:34 - Rabelo hits a beautiful RBI double to the gap in left center field. 13-1 Tigers and Wilfredo will hit with a runner in scoring position.

9:35 - Ledezma looked like he was standing about five miles off the plate and then hits the first pitch to short to end the inning. That was about as funny as Ithought it would be.

BOTTOM OF THE 8TH INNING

9:37 - INDIANS UPDATE: 6-3 Phillies in the bottom of the 8th.

9:38 - Guzman leads off with a single to left, and that ends Ledezma's strikeout streak at 3.

9:40 - Lopez hits a double play ball to short, but Neifi boots it. The only thing you've got going for you is your defense Neifi...don't go screwing that up too.

9:41 - Belliard pinch hits for Zimmerman and hits it right to Neifi who screws up again by not throwing to first to double off Lopez who strayed a bit too far from the bag. One out and two on for Dmitri.

9:42 - INDIANS UPDATE: The Tribe has the bases loaded with two outs in the 8th

9:44 - They get the second out on a fielder's choice. Runners on the corners and two outs.

9:45 - INDIANS UPDATE: It's now 6-5 Phillies and the Indians have the tying run on third with two outs in the 8th....and Jose Mesa's coming in...uh oh

9:46 - Ledezma walks the bases loaded with two outs, though at this point I think most Tigers fans are watching the Cleveland score more than the score of this game.

9:47 - Church grounds out to Ledezma to end the inning with the bases loaded. One inning to go....

TOP OF THE 9TH INNING

9:48 - INDIANS UPDATE: Mesa gets Casey Blake to ground out to end the 8th (I'm just as surprised as you are). 6-5 Phils going into the 9th.

9:51 - Granderson hits a fly ball to deep right, but Kearns is able to run it down for the first out. We are then treated to the comic stylings of Mario and Rod as they show a replay of the President race. These blow outs always give Mario a chance to work on his standup. I think he may get a false sense of how funny he is because Rod laughs at everything.

9:53 - Polanco walks, and that will bring up Marcus Thames who is pinch hitting for Sheff. They just showed Guillen's and Thames home runs from last night...both were monsters....

9:54 - And just like that Thames hits the first pitch WAY up to the upper deck for a two run home run. Good lord he hit the shit out of that. Um...maybe we should play him a bit more....wow.....15-1 Tigers

9:56 - Monroe becomes the second out as he pops up to 1B in foul ground....and here comes Neifi! WOOOOO!!!

9:57 - Rod Allen makes a comment that the crowd is quiet (which is rather astute considering there are about 10 people in the stands), and then he and Mario debate on how to pronounce De La Cruz's first name. Such hi-jinks and hilarity from these two.

10:00 - Neifi draws the walk. Not a bad night for him actually. Too bad it's against the Nationals.

10:01 - INDIANS UPDATE: Ryan Howard knocks in two runs with a double and the Phils now lead 8-5 in the 9th

10:02 - Casey flies out to left to end the inning and it looks like De La Cruz will get some work in the ninth to try and finish this off...

BOTTOM OF THE 9TH INNING

10:04 - INDIANS UPDATE: 9-5 Phils after another RBI double. Hopefully the bullpen can hold the lead.

10:05 - Schneider grounds out to 2B for the first out of the inning.

10:07 - De La Cruz gets Langerhans swinging and I'm starting to like this kid. He has a high 90's fastball and seems to locate it well. Hopefully he keeps this up against a good team.

10:08 - Flores strikes out looking and that's that. De La Cruz sits them down in order and the Tigers win it 15-1

INDIANS UPDATE: 9-5 Phillies going into the bottom of the 9th. If anything changes during my post-mortum I will pass that along.

Well if you look up the word "ass-beating" in the dictionary you'd see a picture from this game. The pitching was lights out, and they crushed the ball all night, topped off by that monster home run by Thames. Just an all around great game by the Tigers. This is what good teams do to terrible teams, beat the living crap out of them. The Tigers look for the sweep tomorrow and I like their odds with Jeremy Bonderman on the hill. Also have to say I'm liking this De La Cruz kid. Thus far he's pitched two innings and only given up one hit. Very good stuff so far. Hopefully Antonio Alfonseca and his six fingers will close out the game for the Phils and we'll be in a first place tie going into tomorrow....GO TIGERS!

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 4-6

TOP OF THE 4TH INNING

8:08 - Granderson leads off with a double to DEEP center. If this stadium wasn't so damn huge that would have been a home run. Tigers are hitting the hell out of the ball tonight.

8:10 - Polanco hits a single to center, and Granderson scores. Langerhans decides (for reasons beyond my comprehension) to try and throw Curtis out at home, but is no where close. That throw allows Placido to get to second for a double. 8-0 Tigers, and here comes Sheff.

8:12 - Sheff hits a single to center just under the glove of Guzman. Polanco moves to third and Simontacchi is getting the hook, and that brings in Random Shitty Nats Reliever #36 (tm)...I'm sure he'll do well.

8:18 - The blogger hamster just died on the wheel and lost my last couple posts...but Maggs singled to left, driving in Polanco and it's 9-0 Tigers with runners on first and second and no outs.

8:19 - Guillen grounds out, but moves the runners to second and third with one out.

8:21 - They "intentionally" walk Sean Casey (meaning they didn't actually intentionally walk him but they didn't give him a good pitch either) and that loads up the bases for Inge.

8:23 - Inge hits a double to the gap in right center field and that clears the bases...12-0 TIGERS! What a beat down. They just showed a replay and Austin Kearns almost fell on his ass on the warning track trying to run down that ball. That would have been HILARIOUS!

8:24 - Rod Allen says this and it makes me laugh and get angry at the same time..."This Tigers offense is sick. And I mean the good kind." I don't even have the words folks

8:25 - Rabelo strikes out looking and we've got two outs...but does it really matter at this point?

8:26 - Durbin grounds out to the pitcher to end the inning. The Tigers bat around and at this rate we could be seeing a 20 spot on the board before it's all said and done....

BOTTOM OF THE 4TH INNING

8:27 - They just showed a commercial for the MLB All Star game that featured a bunch of probable all stars riding on a cable car since it's in San Francisco. The only one out of place was Barry Zito, who will probably have to buy a ticket to go to the All Star Game like the rest of us.

8:28 - Since the Tigers are kicking the Nationals ass, Leyland has decided to give Guillen the rest of the night off, which means my least favorite Tiger, Neifi Perez, gets half a game's worth of work....ugh....

8:29 - Zimmerman hits a pop up to 3B for the first out of the inning, and Dmitri is up now looking for his second hit of the game.

8:30 - No such luck for Dmitri who flies out to Sheff in left. Two outs.

8:31 - Kearns grounds out to 3B to end the inning. Durbin has only allowed two base runners through four innings and one of them was hit by a pitch.

TOP OF THE 5TH INNING

8:32 - Whoever is behind those horrible Little Ceasar's commercials needs to be dragged out into the street and beaten to a pulp. THEY ARE TERRIBLE!

8:34 - Granderson grounds out to 1B for the first out of the inning. Can't get a hit every time.

8:35 - Polanco grounds out to 1B as well and we've got two quick outs....FSN shows the President race that happens every night in Washington. I'm sure the founding fathers are really happy that this is how they are being remembered.

8:37 - Sheff grounds out to short to end the inning. 1-2-3 inning for the Tigers, but when you are up 12-0 that's okay.

BOTTOM OF THE 5TH INNING

8:39 - Church with a DEEP fly ball to right....but it just ends up being a long out.

8:40 - Schneider gets on with an infield hit. Polanco dove for it but was only able to knock it down. Polanco grimmaced as he got up. I'm hoping he was just mad that he didn't get to it, and not injured or anything.

8:42 - Langerhans hits a single right back up the middle that almost took the head off Durbin. Runners on first and second with one out.

8:43 - Batista pinch hits for the pitcher to keep the Nats rally going...and strikes out swinging. Way to be Tony! Two outs.

8:45 - Guzman drops a single that Granderson just couldn't get to, and there goes the shut out. 12-1 and runners on first and second for Lopez.....

8:46 - ....who grounds out to short to end the inning. Everyone get excited NEIFI IS COMING UP NEXT INNING!

TOP OF 6TH INNING

8:48 - Billy Traber is in to pitch for the Nats. That's probably only a big deal if you have him on your fantasy team or something. Also Monroe is now hitting for Maggs. They show Monroe's shoes and they say "C-MO" in gold lettering on the tongue. Um...I don't even know what to say.

8:51 - Monroe flies out to center. Now he can go back and shine up his new shoes in the dugout....and HERE COMES NEIFI! Midaswell put that second out on the board right now.

8:52 - Well look at that. Neifi puts the first pitch into the gap in left center for a double. I guess a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in awhile.

8:53 - Casey flies out to right for the second out of the inning. Neifi stays at second, but then you already knew that.

8:56 - Inge grounds out to 3B to end the inning just after FSN showed a graphic that showed him in third place in the All Star 3B voting behind A-Rod and Lowell. The fact that Inge has 375,000 votes shows why fans shouldn't be allowed to vote for this stuff. How can you vote for Inge over A-Rod? Seriously people get your head out of your ass. You may not like the Yankees or A-Rod, but you should vote for the players having the best year....that's what an "All Star" game is all about.

BOTTOM OF THE 6TH INNING

9:00 - Zimmerman goes down looking and that's one down for the Nats. Durbin is throwing the ball really well tonight.

9:01 - Dmitri hits a ground rule double to right center. Good for you Dmitri...too bad your back on a shitty team. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

9:02 - Kearns his a pop up to Polanco in shallow right. Two outs and Dmitri standing on second.

9:03 - Church ends the inning with a long fly out to Monroe in left. Inning over. That's now officially a quality start for Durbin. Three innings to go....

MLB Live Blog: Tigers vs. Nationals Innings 1-3

Sorry Washington...our logo is much cooler. Plus our team isn't shitty...

TOP OF THE 1ST INNING

7:12 - Okay so I'm a little late, but I'm just in time as Maggs just doubled in Granderson. Rod Allen just said, "Here they come." Thanks Rod. Runners on second and third with one out.

7:14 - Guillen gets Sheff home on a ground out to SS. 2-0 Tigers with Sean Casey coming up.

7:15 - Casey hits a double down the left field line, and Maggs scores. Watching Sean run gives new definition to the word "rumbling around the basepaths." 3-0 Tigers.

7:18 - Inge has got a 2-2 count on him now. I get the feeling we're going to see a swinging strikeout.

7:20 - After a wild pitch, Casey moves over to third. All Inge needs to do is get a hit and they have a four run lead....and he...walks? Really? Wow.

7:21 - Rabelo is hitting ahead of Durbin, so I'm guessing he's not going to see many strikes.

7:23 - Rabelo grounds out to 2B to end the inning. Good start for the Tigers, but with this bullpen it's needed.

BOTTOM OF THE 1ST INNING

7:25 - And here we go with what could be Chad Durbin's last start. Hopefully he'll go out with a win because losing to the Nationals would pretty much suck.

7:27 - Guzman hits what probably should have been a bloop single to right but Guillen ran that ball down. Pretty good for a guy who's hamstring is only 75%* (that figure provided by Rod Allen so take it as you will)

7:28 - Lopez tries to bunt for a hit, but Durbin was ALL OVER THAT SHIT! You can't fool Chad Durbin, Washington! Two outs.

7:29 - Zimmerman finishes off the inning with a lazy fly to center. Nice start for Durbin, 1-2-3...

7:30 - Am I the only one annoyed as hell by the Comcast lady who talks to me like I'm stupid while trying to explain to me that Michigan weather is shitty? REALLY?!? MICHIGAN WEATHER IS SHITTY? NO! This is all news to me! Comcast can go to hell.

TOP OF 2ND INNING

7:31 - Durbin leads off the inning which means you can probably pencil in an out...and just like that a grounder to short gives the Tigers one quick out.

7:32 - Granderson hits a short fly to right for the second out of the inning. Thus far the Tigers have seen 4 pitches this inning.

7:33 - Polanco grounds out to short on the third pitch he faced. Inning over. I'm guessing Leyland isn't happy that it only took 7 pitches to get through the inning.

BOTTOM OF 2ND INNING

7:35 - Dmitri Young leads off the 2nd. Nothing made me happier than seeing that asshole strike out last night when he had a chance to tie the game with a hit.

7:36 - Dmitri drives a double down the line in left. Rod says that it's just a matter of time before DY gets traded to a better team. Hopefully it's far away from Detroit.

7:37 - Kearns grounds out for the first out of the inning and since it was to short Dmitri had to stay at second.

7:38 - Church needs to get some more pine tar on his bat as he just threw the bat all the way down the first base line. That security guard was basically hiding for his life from that thing.

7:39 - Rod Allen uses the word "swagger." I'm so sick of this stinking word. Every damn announcer throws it around all the time since it's one of those snazzy buzzwords. Can we all get together and come up with a new word please?

7:41 - Church swings and misses badly at what would have been ball four. He looks pretty pist. Two outs and a man on second for the Nats.

7:43 - Schneider grounds out to first to end the inning. Durbin has looked pretty sharp thus far. He looks like a guy who wants to keep his spot in the rotation....then again this is against the Nats.

TOP OF THE 3RD INNING

7:46 - Sheffield (my Tiger) leads off, and I could hear a heckler yelling at him to "Stop swinging his bat." Um, I don't know if I would taunt Gary Sheffield....he's a scary dude.

7:47 - Sheff hits a nice single down the line in right. He's just a complete bad ass.

7:51 - Maggs gets a broken bat single to right. Sheff was running on the play and is able to get to third. Runners on the corners with no outs. I'm liking this inning thus far.

7:52 - Guillen puts the first pitch into center field, knocking in Sheff and making it 4-0 Tigers. First and second with no one out for Sean Casey.

7:53 - FINALLY! SEAN CASEY WITH A THREE-RUN HR TO RIGHT! Who would have thought that his first home run would be in the worst hitter's park they've played in? Go figure. 7-0 Tigers

7:55 - Brandon Inge does what he does best...and that's strike out swinging at a ball in the dirt, and there's your first out of the inning.

7:56 - After last night, am I the only one who doesn't feel fully comfortable with this lead? I mean it is the Nationals and all so the odds of them doing what they did last night again is questionable, but still. Rabelo grounds out for the second out of the inning.

7:58 - Durbin grounds to 3B to end the inning. Another nice inning for the Tigers. Let's keep it up!

BOTTOM OF THE 3RD INNING

8:01 - Langerhans hits a pop up to 3B for the first out of the inning. BTW, there are tens of people in Washington to see this...looks like moving from Montreal is really paying off....

8:03 - Durbin gets Simontacchi looking for his second strikeout of the game. It was a nice 2-2 pitch, but a normal hitter probably wouldn't have been fooled as badly as Simontacchi was on that pitch.

8:04 - Guzman gets hit with a pitch. DAMNIT! If they were going to hit someone they should have waited for Dmitri Young!

8:05 - Lopez swings and misses at a pitch in the dirt for Durbin's third strikeout and that ends the inning. Durbin still looking sharp having only given up one hit through three.

Tigers Live Blog Tonight!

Hopefully he'll have another good night

Well after tonight's near disaster (Todd Jones just can't have a 1-2-3 ninth can he?), I decided that I'm going to liveblog tonight's game against the Nationals starting at 7:05. Chad Durbin is going for the Tigers in what could be one of his last starts depending on what Leyland does when Kenny Rogers and Nate Robertson are both back and fully healthy.

This will be a chance for me to share my dismay as the bullpen continues in their efforts to give me a heart attack (or they could just play well for a change...would be a nice change of pace), and this also helps me shake off a bit of the liveblog rust before I do the NBA Draft for Ballpimp next Thursday. So come back and join in the fun!

Let's Trade for Kobe!

Okay, so he's kind of an asshole, but hear me out....

In case you haven't heard, Kobe Bryant has decided that he really wants to be traded from the Lakers. Now he could change his mind, which he has done over and over during the past two months, but let's work under the assumption that he will be traded by the Lakers. Should the Pistons look at him? OF COURSE!

I realize that a lot of people outside L.A. don't like Kobe and I can completely understand. I don't really like him that much either, however, I enjoy championships and if Kobe could bring the Pistons a title or two I think I could find a place in my heart for #24 (McDyess will have to change his number for this to work....unless Kobe wants to change it again). So I decided to go over to ESPN's Trade Machine and give it a whirl and come up with some trade scenarios that would put Kobe in the Red, White and Blue for the 2007-08 season. Let the crazy speculation begin!

Rasheed Wallace ($11.6) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

(All dollar amounts are in the millions, but since you're not an idiot you already knew that right?)

Mitch Kupchak is pretty stupid (see: Shaq trade) but I don't think he's this stupid. Obviously the Pistons would have to throw in one or both of their first round picks this year in this deal, but that's not even enough. This would get rid of two problem people for Detroit (Rasheed for his stupidity, and Nazr for his being a giant pile of crap) and give them arguably the league's best player. This would create kind of a logjam in the backcourt, and would leave the Pistons with no solid front court scoring option, but if the Lakers were stupid enough to make this trade, Dumars should immediately get the paper work to the league office before they could come to their senses.

Rip Hamilton ($9.1) and Nazr Mohammed($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

From a pure basketball standpoint this could be the best deal for the Pistons to make. They'd have to toss one or two picks in here as well, but they wouldn't really need them if they got this trade to go through. If the Pistons were able to make this deal and re-sign Chauncey they would be looking at this starting lineup of Chauncey, Kobe, Tayshaun, Rasheed, and either Maxiell or McDyess (depending on what kind of lineup you want to go with). That lineup is easily good enough to win the East and probably good enough to compete with the Spurs. This would be a better trade for the Lakers as Rip could slide into Kobe's spot and produce for them, but I still don't think they'd make this deal, though the Trade Machine doesn't account for the smell of desperation that may be coming from L.A. in the near future....

Chauncey Billups (Sign and Trade) and Nazr Mohammed ($5.2) for Kobe Bryant ($17.7)

For this trade to work Chauncey would obviously have to want to go to L.A, and also the Pistons would probably have to keep one of their two draft picks to use on a point guard. This is not the prettiest of trades on a pure basketball standpoint, as it would leave the Pistons without a point guard, but you could probably spin Rip into a point guard (Mike Bibby maybe?) in another deal to fix that problem. Another decent deal for the Lakers as they get Chauncey in return, though one has to ask how much of a market there is for him after this latest bad playoff performance.

You've probably noticed that I've tossed Nazr in all these trades, well since they traded Delfino already his contract is the best one to make the numbers work out. Now for my last one I've gone a little crazy....

Three Team Trade

• Pistons Get: Kobe Bryant ($17.7), Shawn Marion ($15), Maurice Evans ($1.6)


• Lakers Get: Rip Hamilton ($9.1), Rasheed Wallace ($11.6), Nazr Mohammed($5.2), Pistons #27 pick in draft


• Suns Get: Lamar Odom ($12.3), Lindsey Hunter ($2.2), Pistons #15 draft pick

So how many parades should we plan? Two? Three? Yes folks this trade does work under the salary cap. I threw in the draft picks myself where I thought they'd be going. The Suns may get both Detroit picks in this scenario, but those can go wherever. This solves the problems for all three teams. First, the Pistons make a move to get a younger more dynamic roster with Kobe and Marion, while getting rid of problem child Rasheed. The Lakers trade Kobe (something they didn't want to do, but had to) but are able to get pretty good value back for him in the form of Rip, Rasheed, and a draft pick. Sheed should be good for the last two years on his contract since he's playing for Phil Jackson who has a track record of reigning in head cases. The Suns in the meantime get rid of Marion who is having trouble coexisting with Amare Stoudamire, while getting a pretty good player in return in Odom who will help save them some money with the luxury tax. Could be quite an interesting deal if the three teams were willing to pull it.

Well there you have it. A few different scenarios to put Kobe in Detroit. Will it happen? Probably not, but at least it makes for a fun offseason of discussion....

The Tigers' Bullpen is Trying to Kill Me

This man could be the end of me....

I said I would touch upon this issue today so here goes...I think the Tigers bullpen is trying to kill me. That's the only real way to put it. Either that or they are trying to make me pull out all my hair from it's roots. Their performance as of late has me worried about every game, no matter what the score is.

Case in point, on Sunday the Tigers were up 10-3 on the Mets and I was still worried about holding onto that lead. SEVEN RUNS, and I was actually worried! Much to my non-surprise, the Mets cut the lead to four and that's when that sense of dread spilled over, at least until the Tigers scored more runs to put a good distance between them. The Tigers ended up winning, but the point is I shouldn't be worried about a game when they build a seven run lead. I should be excited about the Tigers pounding another opponent, but instead I'm nervous that our bullpen is going to cough it up. The sad thing is that Todd Jones of all people has really been the only solid pitcher in the pen the last few weeks. Everyone else seems to be a three-run homerun waiting to happen. I honestly didn't think losing Zumaya would be THIS bad, but damn.

The only solution is to trade a guy like Mike Maroth and get a decent relief pitcher in return. Hopefully this can be a pitcher that fills Zumaya's role for the timebeing as the guy you can go to for the 7th and 8th innings before handing the ball over to Jones in the 9th and praying. I know this, they need to make a move at some point because if this bullpen stays like this in October I may end up having a heart attack.

I'm Back Baby! WOOOO!!!

Had to use the Terminator pic here...

It's been awhile since I last posted, and now that other things in the "real world" have sorted themselves out, it's time to get back to what I do best....and that's make sarcastic comments about sports! To honor this great occasion I've decided to just do some random shots at various sports stuff that's been happening lately, so forgive me a bit if I jump around from topic to topic.

Michael Vick Hates Animal Rights

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Vick shows his opinion for PETA

What the hell is going on with Michael Vick? First he gets popped for that water bottle that may or may not have contained marijuana, and now he's being investigated by the Feds for running a huge dog fighting operation at the house he let's his cousin stay at. I'm sure the Falcons are real excited they traded Matt Schaub right about now. Hopefully for Vick's case the Prosecutors adopt Clinton Portis' "whatever you do in your own house is your own business," stance and this whole thing blows over. By the way, I don't think I ever really want to go to Clinton's house, I'm starting to imagine it's a lawless wasteland like Thunderdome in Mad Max.

Pistons Get Bounced by the Cavs

Seeing the Cavs stink up the Finals makes me sick to my stomach

Um...what the hell happened to the Pistons? They rolled off seven straight wins to start the playoffs and then basically went in the tank. The last solid game they played this postseason was Game Two against the Bulls. Ever since that ass beating they laid on Chicago they seemed to be playing in cruise control. It worked for two more wins against the Bulls and two close wins in Games One and Two against Cleveland, but once LeBron got rolling that was it for the Pistons. Everyone's been over and over how the series ended and we've all gotten to listen to various announcers give LeBron the biggest suck off this side of the one John Madden bestows on Brett Favre...so let's take a look at the future of the Pistons

• CHAUNCEY BILLUPS: How do you pay this guy max money after the last two flame outs in the post season? Chauncey has struggled in the last two Eastern Finals and he's expecting to get max money for six years?!? I like Chauncey, but I think "Mr. Big Shot" (and really, how many big shots has he actually made during the last two playoffs? I'm willing to bet he's missed more than he's made) isn't worth that kind of commitment. This team needs a radical change and I think a sign and trade with Chauncey may be the best bet to get some quality assets in return.
• RASHEED WALLACE: Let's forget how Rasheed basically went nuts at the end of game six and effectively cost the Pistons any chance at a comeback, and let's look at one basic question. Can Rasheed and Flip coexist another year? I honestly think the answer to that is an emphatic no. We all knew this day would come when the Pistons traded for Sheed in 2004. He's a great player for stretches, and is pretty unstoppable when he has his turnaround jumper going, but I think his time in Detroit has come to an end. Trading Sheed isn't going to be easy though. He has a contract worth $12 million and character issues to boot. I would say that the obvious solution would be to trade him to Portland for Zach Randolph (who would provide the Pistons with a good low post scorer/rebounder) but there's no way the Blazers are taking Sheed back....right?
• CHRIS WEBBER: I swear to God they had better not resign this piece of shit. My disdain for C-Webb has been well chronicled, but even the biggest C-Webb supporters would be hard pressed to argue that he didn't look terrible in the playoffs. I honestly think I can out jump him at this point, and that's saying a lot because I have a pretty small vertical leap. If Joe D resigns Webber, I may not go to a game next season in protest. LET HIS SORRY ASS GO!!!
• THE REST: I think the Pistons should resign McDyess, let Lindsey retire, and resign Amir Johnson. Beyond that they need to draft a point guard (I'll cover more of the NBA Draft stuff in a future post) and probably another big with their first round picks (if they don't trade them away in some sort of blockbuster deal though).

In the end the Pistons need to make some changes. This team has flamed out two straight years in the conference finals and I don't see how a team that's just getting older will do any better if they don't break up the starting five. If they keep this team together for another year we could be risking going into a long funk like what happened after the Bad Boys stayed together a bit too long. I for one don't want to go through that crap again.

Well that's it for now. I'm going to do a full post on the Tigers' Bullpens attempt at murdering me sometime tomorrow. Until then...peace out y'all!