Friday, January 5, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Tigers Sign Timo Perez. Parade Route for 2007 World Series Parade Being Planned

Newest Tiger Timo Perez seen here posing for his High School ID picture by Lifetouch Portrait Studios

As the baseball offseason has wore on I've been sitting by and waiting for the Tigers to do something that would improve the team and signal a 2007 World Series Championship. First they went and got Gary Sheffield, and I yawned a bit. I mean he's a great hitter and all but what the Tigers were missing last year, besides a copy of Tom Emanski's Defensive Drills DVD, was that "it" factor that makes a team a champion. Does Sheff really bring that? Well he does bring the crazy which is always fun for a 162 game season, and I'm sure he'll be out to prove to people he can still swing the bat after an injury riddled season....but he doesn't bring the "it" to me.

Then the Tigers went out and re-signed Sean Casy, extended Jeremy Bonderman and Brandon Inge (a side note to don't have to swing at EVERY pitch...just a suggestion), and signed Jose Mesa for bullpen help. They even went out and got what could be a nice little gem in the Rule 5 draft, but none of this really got me excited. Where is the "it" guy that was going to take us over the top?

Then today the Tigers went and did it. They signed TIMO PEREZ! I know what you're did we sign Timo Perez?! He's AWESOME! Well to that I say that now Detroit is a desirable destination for in demand free agents like Timo. He had offers from Japan and some Mexican league team, but he totally shot them down to come to Detroit. This move pretty much means that you can start buying your World Series tickets right now. I don't even know why we are going through the charade of playing out the season. Look at the last two teams Timo was on....

2005 Chicago White Sox.....Won the World Series

2006 St. Louis Cardinals.....Won the World Series

Now some of you will say that Timo didn't take a swing during last year's postseason and had little to do with the Cardinals winning the World Series. I say you aren't looking deep enough. Just having Timo in the organization caused the Tigers pitchers to go crazy and throw the ball into the seats about 892 times during the World Series. He just brings that kind of presence to the game, even when he's not in the dugout. The man just wins championships people, and now he's a Detroit Tiger! Nevermind that he probably won't play much and is really only a left handed bat they will use in certain situations. Timo is a freaking winner! So put the champagne on ice Detroit....Timo's bringing a championship!

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