Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Pats Need to Win for the Good of Mankind

Let's hope we see a lot of the sad Peyton today...if not may God have mercy on us all

So I've returned from my week long absence on a day where the world as we know it could come to an end. This evening the Indianapolis Colts take on the New England Patriots for the AFC Championship and, for a least one week, I'm joining in with all of New England in the hopes that Peyton Manning goes down in flames yet again.

If you've read any of this blog you are fully aware that I'm a fan (read: prisoner) of the Detroit Lions so you're probably wondering why it is that I have such disgust for Peyton. I'm glad you asked. Well first off as a Michigan fan I still hold a grudge for him taking a shit in the Orange Bowl against Nebraska, thus allowing the Huskers to steal half of the National Championship...but it goes way further then that.

Can you imagine a world where Peyton Manning has actually won a big game? Football commentators have long wanted to gush uncontrollably about Peyton being the greatest QB ever to walk the Earth, but up until now have been stopped by the fact that he tanks it when it means the most. His big game chokes are like a dam and if he were to win this game then the dam would be broken and the flood would come....and you don't want the flood. Can you imagine the two week build up to Peyton finally playing in the Super Bowl? Sean Salisbury is already salivating at the chance go bow at the alter of Peyton.

Now I know what you're saying, "Won't it be the same with Tom Brady/Bill Belichick if the Pats win?" Granted this is not the ideal situation. I wish the Chargers were in this game, but since the only team that stands in Peyton's way is the Patriots then I guess it's going to have to be them. The difference between the Pats and the Colts it that they've been there so many times that there really isn't much more commentators can really say about their it won't be quite as insufferable. It will suck a bit...but not as much as it would be if Peyton finally made it.

That and I'm sure if Peyton made it to the Super Bowl he'd get EVEN MORE endorsement deals (if that's even possible). I mean right now he's a goofy looking great QB who chokes whenever the word "Bowl," "Championship," or "Florida" is involved and he's still on one out of every 4 commercials in an NFL Broadcast...just imagine what it would be like if he was a winner too....NOOOO!!!

Plus as an added bonus we'd also be treated to stories on the greatness of Tony Dungy. Never mind the fact that he's supposed to be this defensive guru yet his Colts teams have perpetually sucked at defense (these last two games were smoke and mirrors against a dumbass head coach and a Baltimore offense that still sucks ass) or the fact that in big games he doesn't seem to be able to keep his hands off his neck. Has this guy ever been criticized by NFL analysts? If he has I've never heard it. How does he continually get a free pass? This shit doesn't make sense to me.

So I will be rooting for the Pats because I dislike Peyton and the Colts. Thus far I'm 1-0 in 2007 in rooting for teams just to spite the team they are playing (Florida) so I'm hoping I go 2-0 tonight with the Pats. Please win New England.....I don't know if I want to live in a world with Peyton as a winner....


Oh...and GO SAINTS too...I really don't want to cheer for New England in the Super Bowl too...

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